Maybe I'm misreading this here, but it sounds as though you want us to reassure you that you do love your wife in spite of your behaviour. I'm not really getting that where the love is in this scenario. You've said it doesn't feel right hugging her, you're not attracted to her, you spent years thinking she wasn't good enough, you've barely touched each other in a decade, and you have sex with prostitutes. I'm not getting where the love comes into it here.
Maybe I am misreading here, but it sounds like you are reducing love to something purely physical and are not considering the fact that staying with someone and building a household and a family with someone in spite of this porn and sex addiction and the effects it has on someone’s brain shows that there is a strong bond between those 2 people ?
What is love if it’s not looking in the same direction ?
I’d be curious to know more about your story, and where you stand in regards with your marriage if you have one, because to me you seem to be a little bit too black and white, when a P addict should definitely know that it’s not all black and white and that it is very much full of grey areas.
Unless your definition of love is the one from the dictionary, you should definitely know that love in real life, even without PMO addiction coming in the way is a bit more complicated than the definition from the dictionary.
Last, even if you think every word you wrote, what’s the point coming in the topic of someone who’s suffering of huge anxiety and say things which could potentially trigger them, especially if you’re not even sharing anything from your experience or trying to help with a solution. it kind of makes me question the why you are on this forum if it’s not to be empathetic to people in distress