Questionable Relapse?

I mean, that sounds like masturbation to me. I don't know about you, but I define masturbation as any intentional, sexual self-stimulation. Even if I just do it for 15 seconds, that's still masturbating.

Of course, everyone is free to define sobriety for themselves.

For that matter, it also begs the question of whether or not her pics/videos count as porn. There are different beliefs about this in the forums. In the end, I think you just have to take a step back: instead of trying to figure out the technicalities of what is or isn't a relapse, just ask yourself, "is this helpful to my reboot?"

 

I would like to answer, but can I ask you for some clarity?

Exactly what vids/pics are you sending each other? Are they nudes or erotic in some way (perhaps recorded in the past)?

Exactly what do you mean "mildly played with" your erection. If so, how can you claim you had full control over it?

 

This probably won't answer your question but, I don't count a relapse as setting me back to day one. There is no science behind these numbers but if I fully relapse I take away 7 days from my progress. Say I'm on day 28 and relapse, I'll now be on day 21. What you did could be considered a minor set back, maybe putting you 3 days back? Pick the numbers that make the most amount of sense to you.

 

If anyone doing a reboot has a sore penis I'd like to reccomend an Aquaphor advanced healing healing ointment. It's basically a cream for really dry skin. You rub some on once a day after a shower and it really works. M really tears up penial skin because most guys don't use any or enough lube. Give it 2 weeks. You will feel 100 percent better.

 

Thanks, although it is still not clear to me. So, let me try an answer in a more general way - the concept of a relapse or the need to reset your counter.

Re: vids and pics. Even when they are of your sexual partner, they still perpetuate the brain's pathways of being aroused
by pixels rather than the person themselves. You see her boobs and get hard, but it is a digital photo or a video clip. Why not simply wait until the next time you enjoy intimacy together. That is the sort of rewiring that is most effective.

There is a fundamental rule I encourage with those I am an AP with: don't touch your penis unless it is to pee or wash (or during sex if doing easy mode). How much more so would this be true when your penis is erect and even more so if it has stiffened because you are looking at erotic pics and vids. You are trying to allow such brain pathways to fall into disuse.

 

Relapse: Intentionally watching porn/psubs. Masturbating.

You watched a psub (image of ur gf) and M's "started playing with it alittle."

I would consider it a relapse but that's just me.