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Questions about Pheromones and Relationships

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by ChristoX8, Jan 25, 2016.

  1. ChristoX8

    ChristoX8 Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone. I read a couple articles on the subreddit tonight and was wondering a couple things.

    Supposely that after 3-4 weeks of abstinence, many start producing more pheromones and girls get very attracted by all that testosterone and manliness. Some said they have a radar for those things, which is just hilarious loll but seriously, is there any truth to this? I saw A TON of people claiming this so parts of me tend to believe there might be some truth to this but I'd like to hear more about it.

    Also, let's say, when I reach 3-4 weeks, girls start getting all flirtarious with me and some want me in their bed, am I supposed to tell them I can't do it because I'm doing NoFap? I'm very conflicted. I'm doing NoFap, because I want to re-become the man I used to be before I started watching porn but I won't lie to myself, I want to be in a relationship for the first time in 14 years ...but I'm also in it for the sex, obviously. I saw some say sex is okay if there's no porn or masturbation, some say it isn't and I really don't know what to do when I'll have a lusty girl wanting me. I'm very determined to succeed in my reboot (I'm on day 11 in Hard Mode and have zero interest in PMO) but I won't abstrain from sex if it's recommanded. It's also one of my secondary goal but I don't want to undo all the effects of my reboot because it's not the main reason I'm doing this. I just don't want to miss an opportunity, I already missed so many in the last decade... too many I can't even remember.

    Which brings me to my next point, is it okay to feel sexual attraction towards real life girls? I know this sound stupid but let me explain. One of the purpose of NoFap is to think of girls as more than sex objects and I agree with that, that's what I'm starting to do. But I also want to have one nights in a couple weeks/months/years before I find a true girlfriend. I lack experience, you see, I'm still a virgin at 26 and I have so much to learn, so much time to catch up. I don't want to be with a girl and end looking as if I came from another planet... Is it okay to want some girls just for sex without seeing them all as sex objects?

    Finally, how am I supposed to find out my brain is completly recovered? I know this get asked pretty often but I saw so many different answers. 11 days, 30/40/60/90 days, 6 months, 9, 1-3 years, I realise it's different for everyone but is there a specific way to ''find out''?

    Thanks in advance!!
     
  2. ChristoX8

    ChristoX8 Fapstronaut

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    Yes, I recorgnize myself in what you said and it makes a lot of sense.

    That's right. What's conflicting me is that I seem to want both and I can't decide. lol

    Oh, of course, it's very wrong to manipulate a girl just to have sex with her when she wants a serious relationship, I would not do that. Yeah, I understand. Just like PMO, I can imagine real sex is highly addictive. I'll remember that when I start meeting girls again.

    That's exactly right. I want a healthy relationship but I remember that even before I started watching porn at the age of 12, I wasn't leaving girls alone. lol I always liked seducing them, making them smile, kissing and just touching them (obviously, at the age of 8-12, it wasn't sexual or anything) and I have so much repressed sexual frustration because of constant rejection. Will that dissepear with NoFap? Because even young, I loved conquering girls so add all the frustrations of the last 14 years and the fact I live in a city full of cute girls, one nights are REALLY tempting before I find a true relationship. And they could relieve me of the frustration, maybe. I think I see girls as more than sexual objects but I really like them, so I want to f*** them all. loll It's so contradictory ...or maybe it isn't, I don't know. Perhaps if I had sex with one, it would change my perception and one would be enough for me. I can't tell of what I never had...

    I know, there are some Internet models I keep having flash of and I almost cried this morning because I followed one for 13 years, hoping to see her do porn and it was heading this way, maybe in a couple months/years she will but I won't see it and it really hurts. I had a huge crush on her but I gotta turn the page. What pains me the most is that, I genuinely lost all interest in PMO but I saw fellow fapstraunauts saying porn only will also undo all my results with NoFap so I really won't be able to see her getting it on.

    Thank you very much @big_dave! I'll definetely keep you posted and won't relapse to Sexy Pattycake, I'll fight with all I got!!
     
    big_dave likes this.

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