Questions for the ones that escalated to gay/trans stuff

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by ultrafabber, Sep 29, 2019.

Which "person" were you imagining to be?

  1. The passive man

    27 vote(s)
    56.3%
  2. The active man

    21 vote(s)
    43.8%
  1. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    This topic is dedicated to the ones with HOCD too.

    I think this is something extremely overlooked and i can understand why, as it comes with a lot of potential shame attached to it.

    I am using terminology such as active/passive because sex/gender and gender roles kind of go out the window with gay/trans stuff. But at the end of the line one will generally pick a side and stick to it - that is being active or passive. Active means that one is the penetrator or the one being serviced, passive means that one is receiving or the one servicing (as in giving a blowjob).

    The passive one is more problematic because it comes with potential gender identity deconstruction. What i mean is that just saying "i am/was into trans/gay porn" is just the tip of the iceberg and the more pressing issue is "who i imagined myself to be when watching".

    I went ahead and watched trans porn just to check this further (i never watched this stuff before) and i did notice that a LOT of it is the man performing fellatio on the transgender and the men getting penetrated too. I was quite surprised because i thought it would not be THAT common. It is true that the reverse happened as well in some cases but i would say that overall the man was the passive one. I didn't have to watch the gay stuff because obviously there will be a passive man in that dynamic anyway.

    So if people can share their experience with this, i would appreciate it.
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2019
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  2. MJ557

    MJ557 Fapstronaut

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    Active first, then passive, classic escalation, thinking about it now makes me uncomfortable
     
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  3. Silver382

    Silver382 Fapstronaut

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    My experiences started very young I never gave thought of being anything other than I am!
    I have looked at some of the por N you are asking about but never got in to trans , fetish, gender identity porn.
    I have a different view of passive then you have I in joy penetration with the right person looking at what role that plays into I am a masculine male you would not think I was gay if you seen me. I do understa N what you are talking about but I think it is more about what the person view of them self.
     
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  4. Lenard Fosterman

    Lenard Fosterman Fapstronaut

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    Why so? It's merely a rigid assumption. There are plenty of versatile guys that take pleasure from both roles.
    Sex between men is an action in the first place, not necessarily an identity.
    It may very well be integrated into a male gender identity (okay, there probably is a certain adjustment to the pristine stereotype - but who conforms with it completely? And would that actually be desirable?). Btw it is the MALE body and anatomy that is very receptive to that kind of stimulation. You may simply want it because it is a physical sensation extremely full of relish. Or you may like the feeling of letting completely go of any control once in a while. That may be an exciting and relieving experience particularly if you have to retain a lot of control in your daily life.
    There is much more to it than what is hastily pocketed by your narrow and dualistic scheme.

    Then, why is gender identity deconstruction problematic anyways? It may be liberating! I would rather say it is problematic not to ever challenge prevalent gender stereotypes...
     
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  5. Silver382

    Silver382 Fapstronaut

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    I have to ask are you studying psychology
     
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  6. Lenard Fosterman

    Lenard Fosterman Fapstronaut

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    I guess someone must sacrifice himself for the sake of sincere science :D
     
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  7. Silver382

    Silver382 Fapstronaut

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    Human sexuality is extremely complexes there are many out side influences that come in to play.some adapt what is a perception that was portrayed and not allowed to develop in a naturally.Now you have por N that a further distortion.I have a hard time with some of the personalities I have come in to contact with and it does leave me wondering and some times confused.
     
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  8. Vendettana

    Vendettana Fapstronaut

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    I was interested in the passive part from the beginning. I was into black shemales only. I wanted to deepthroat a big cock and receive anal. This is also why, when it got really bad, I started to watch these "futa" where you get an animated point of view from the perspective of a man who gets an entire cock pushed in his mouth.
    I was never interested in being called "pussy, bitch", or that someone spits in my face, and so on. Although it's a downward spiral, so maybe it would have happened eventually.

    Your point makes sense, behind this fetish is insecurity, at least in my case, it would make sense.

    NoFap clearly improved the situation. Sometimes I do wonder if it was worth to at least try it out, but I let those thoughts go. I believe that when I can see my wife again, and when we will have sex, my shemale obsession will go away entirely.

    To me it is. You have a healthy identity, you know who you are, and then you get brainwashed into something and end up believing that this is actually how you are. What about pedophiles? Would you still approve that it is OK "how they are" and that it was "liberating" if their social norm would be "deconstructed" so they can be who they really are?
    To me there is no such thing like "gender" there is just "sex" and there are just two of them: male and female.
    Those 569 different "genders" are a BS invention of the social "sciences". It prefer to stick so "science".
    There is no need for more and when you're having sex with a shemale, well it means you're having sex with a man who got silicon implants and taking estrogen. That makes you gay.
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2019
  9. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Most men are not and even the vers guys steer to one direction or the other in a long relationship. But many gay men refuse to have anal sex in the first place. Why is that? Because that would mess up their gender identity even further, they just don't understand this theoretically.

    Yes, it is desirable to conform to your sex because it is not a "stereotype", it is a biological fact. There are over 6000 genes that work in sexual differentiation in humans. Sexual behavior submissive/dominant is something all the species display and the male is the dominant/active, the female is the submissive/passive.

    By that reasoning the male body anatomy is also very receptive to a donkey penis because it fits. Or that heroin is good because it works. Just because something "works" doesn't make it normal. The prostate can be squeezed by one's own muscles the levator ani and the sphincter. So it's probably something that helps in ejaculation.

    Letting go of control is exactly something that was addressed in the op, and that is a feminine trait (passivity) when it comes to sex.

    Nature IS dualistic and sexuality IS dualistic. That's why there are men and women. It is not a "scheme".

    It's not. It's temporary liberating for stress relief only, then it goes into a downward spiral. But sex is not about stress relief, sex is about sex. Gender deconstruction is not just problematic, it is destructive.
     
  10. Vendettana

    Vendettana Fapstronaut

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    I don't need such thing like "gender". I always thought it's just a different word for someone's sex. Now that some people build up a pseudo science saying that there are some 300 genders, my worldview seems to be no longer valid. But I still don't see any added value of this concept to the two genders that exist: male and female.

    When a man has sex with a shemale, that means he has sex with another guy. It's a guy in women clothes and breast implants who is taking estrogene.
    Although my Porn Addiction lead me to the point where I wanted just that, it is nothing else then being gay.

    Keep it simple folks, don't lie to yourself. Craving for a cock, as a man, means we're homosexual.
     
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  11. Lenard Fosterman

    Lenard Fosterman Fapstronaut

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    There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says “Morning, boys. How’s the water?” And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes “What the hell is water?”
    https://fs.blog/2012/04/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/
     
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  12. alexg1709

    alexg1709 Fapstronaut

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    That's actually not true at all.

    Most men that visit shemalep are heterosexual guys.

    Porn induced fetish is totally different story than being a homosexual.
     
  13. Ginseng12

    Ginseng12 Fapstronaut

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    Google gender bending plastics, if you were breastfed as a child their are chemical inside the teat of the milk bottle that transfer to babies that have chemicals that turn into oestrogen in the body and affect men and women, but mainly men. But these chemicals are in everything, the teat milk bottle is the worst because it becomes warm and your brain is still developing. These chemicals are in EVERYTHING that we consume, stop using plastics and buy fresh produce. Their in, milk bottles, yohurt pots, microwave meals, plastics drinking bottles, freezer bags, clingfilm, or cellophane etc...

    https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn7440-gender-bending-chemicals-found-to-feminise-boys/
     
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  14. Vendettana

    Vendettana Fapstronaut

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    The biphenols. I was totally paranoia about that. There is a triangle on every plastic part that indicates how harmful the confinement is. PET is 1, which is the best, many are 4 or 5 (not great), some are 3 (horrible) and 7 could be anything.

    Worst case scenario is buying cheese in plastic, because fat disolves biphenols very well.

    Your are right about that. However, the battle is lost in advance. You have no chance of avoiding it, unless you go living in a jungle. Like you say, it's everywhere. It's inside your car, It's even in your clothes, its in every paint, your fresh veggies were at some point of the cold chain wrapped in a plastic foil (this is one of the worst)
    You can't fight it.
     
  15. FellatiousD

    FellatiousD Fapstronaut

    Passive. In my fantasies about trans/futa stuff, and watching porn, I'd always imagine being the one getting railed, and giving bj's and stuff. I'm 100% straight and would never touch a guy, but for some reason it's different with the trans stuff. I don't have HOCD either. And I'm not into masculine trans, I'd prefer that everything about them be feminine except for their genitals. (maybe a slightly low voice/tall height, but not much else). It freaks me out because I love women and this fetish seemed to come out of nowhere.

    I'm surprised by this thread and by the poll results. I thought I was alone before. But @Vendettana basically described my situation perfectly.
     
  16. Vendettana

    Vendettana Fapstronaut

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    I am not surprised by the pols. I feel rather confirmed. When my fetish was at it's highest, I discovered that there are specific shemale pornsites with it's own categories. And there was much more content with the man being passive. There were very little videos with trans + female and some with the trans being passive.

    The futa stuff was ridiculous. It was like a video game, still I did watch some of them. I am afraid that this is the future of porn in general. Sooner or later there will be those sex simulators like in utopian movies and we will stop having real sex.

    When I went to NoFap, I discovered that I wasn't alone, that it was porn induced and I felt relieved, because I never understood where this interest came from. I still don't understand the mechanism that pushed me towards shemales, it would help to know.
    I also wonder if this will ever go away entirely. I have 107 days of No PMO on my counter. But I still get a small rush when I remind some of those videos.
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2019
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  17. FellatiousD

    FellatiousD Fapstronaut

    Same. I (try not to) think about trans stuff on a daily basis. The struggle is real.

    But here's something that shocked me when I came to NoFap - the hundreds of threads discussing Tranny/Sissy/Femdom porn addiction. SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE THIS FETISH. It just makes me wonder how many people who hate on trannies have a secret fetish for them. Hmmmmm.
     
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  18. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Very interesting stuff so far, thanks for voting and sharing your experiences. I was expecting that the passive stance was the major part.
     
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  19. Vendettana

    Vendettana Fapstronaut

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    And I wonder, how many men are pushed in a transition because they are actually hardcore porn addicts. Both numbers are at the rise simultaneously: more and more porn is consumed and more and more guys get surgery and want to became a shemale.
     
  20. porsche4life

    porsche4life Fapstronaut

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    I used to be like that but always envisioned myself being the dominant. I still hate them but my fetish has pretty much faded.
     
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