Questions for the ones that escalated to gay/trans stuff

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by ultrafabber, Sep 29, 2019.

Which "person" were you imagining to be?

  1. The passive man

    30 vote(s)
    57.7%
  2. The active man

    22 vote(s)
    42.3%
  1. John Eses

    John Eses Fapstronaut

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    I know my thoughts on here are disjointed. I may end up joining them together into a coherent theory about the rise in trans women and the rise in men liking trans porn despite not having those tendencies when they were younger (i.e. During puberty). I speak from my experience and I understand that it's only anecdotal and doesn't "prove" anything, but I think that I have read enough about other people's experiences and know my own experiences, and from that I can draw some sensible trends. That doesn't mean I have all the answers or that I'm "right" because human psychology is too complex to reduce to hard truths, like you can in physics or chemistry. The most we can show is that if you are exposed to certain things, you're much more likely to behave in a certain way. That also means that you can most likely change your behaviour if you're not happy. It's just that as humans we hate to feel we're wrong so we like to rationalise our behaviour or pretend it's out of our control. It's weird but as people we prefer to think we're right rather than realise we're wrong and make an attempt to be happy by changing our behaviour.

    Onto my next thought for the day. Some trans "women" are simply guys trying to trap straight guys. I'm not saying this is the case for all trans women. My evidence for this is an experience I had with a trans woman. I met a trans woman who was quite feminine when dressed up. "She" obviously made quite an effort and dressed well, used makeup, and had a naturally feminine body, feminine mannerisms, etc. She was the only of two trans women that I actually "liked" as a woman. I met her three times, and in addition to having sex, we talked quite a few times. She ended up admitting she was developing feelings for me and that she wanted to meet me dressed as a man. He told me that he dressed like a woman because that attracted straight acting guys, which was the type of guy he was into, but that ultimately he wanted to be himself... Which meant being a guy. I was honest and told him I liked his feminine persona and that I wasn't into guys. He begged me to just try it once, and that the sex would be the same. I felt bad for him. I couldn't even feel angry that he trapped me because I understood he just wanted to be with someone he was attracted to, and being a skinny effeminate gay guy didn't get him the type of guy he wanted. He was disappointed that I didn't want to see him again but he was also understanding. I'm not saying he's representative of trans women. What I am saying is that in many cases, what we are attracted to is an image of something, and that image is one we have constructed in our head, and which has been fed by other people for their own purposes. I was attracted to a persona, not to a person. And he was putting on a persona to attract someone, but ultimately he wanted someone to like him for who he was. It was a fucked up situation but it wasn't anyone's "fault". It was just that we were both living in fantasy worlds that we had constructed and the fantasy shattered once we tried to merge the real world and the fantasy world.
     
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  2. John Eses

    John Eses Fapstronaut

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    There was another trans woman that I had some encounters with. I quite liked her because we initially met just for sex, but we ended up talking to her and she developed feelings for me, as I did for her. It wasn't love, but it was an affection for each other. She was a lonely person who just wanted to be loved. I am generally a nice person, in the sense that I'm always polite and respectful. I know trans women probably attract a lot of guys who are perhaps confused, disgusted by their own behaviour, or don't want people to know, so they can be unpleasant and even violent because they externalise their own problems. I have read many cases of trans women being bashed, etc. So I understand the reality of being trans is not pleasant unless you're one of those Hollywood types who has millions of dollars and people around you who enable your craziness. Anyway, I digress. This trans woman was quite nice and I was nice to her. We met about a dozen times. By the final time we would chat about stuff, hang out, and our fooling around went from being mechanical to being playful. Initially I paid her but by the end she didn't want any money. She was a nice person but when she opened up to me, I realised how lonely she was. She wanted a life with someone and she told me that in her home country, it was hard for guys to get ahead, but if you became a woman opportunities opened up for you. You could make easy money, you had a chance to find a wealthy guy who looked after you, etc. So again, her decision to become a woman was driven, in part, by economic need and enabled by guys like me who paid her to have sex with them. It made me feel like shit because although I was not exploiting her per se, I was helping a system which exploited her. I wasn't the nice guy who was saving her, I was just another guy wanting to get my rocks off and rationalising it by saying I wasn't like the other guys. I was a "good" guy. But really I was just a cowardly confused guy using someone who didn't have a lot of options. I could walk away at any time and resume my life as a normal, respected member of society. She didn't have the same options. It made me feel like shit. I never said all this to her, and she ended up going back to her own country, because of a bad experience she had with another guy, so I lost contact with her. But listening to her reality was in some ways the beginning of my wake up call. It took me a long time to process and understand what I was feeling, but it made me realise that what I was doing and what she was doing wasn't right. It wasn't liberating, or titillating, it was just fucked up and sad, and we were ruining our lives. That all sounds melodramatic, but it's how I feel about it. And I still appreciate the fun times we had together and the intimate and friendly moments we had together. I don't deny those. But we were both there because of our own fucked up circumstances. It wasn't a "natural" situation.
     
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  3. FellatiousD

    FellatiousD Fapstronaut

    Ni**as be typin novels up in here
     
  4. porsche4life

    porsche4life Fapstronaut

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    I don't even know what this thread has become.
     
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  5. mutu

    mutu Fapstronaut

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    My experience is so weird, I escalated to "trans with females" type of porn, and all other types of porn would not turn me on unless I let them (force myself maybe). Ironically, I don't like to imagine myself to be the trans woman. I just get aroused by this genre, that's it!

    trans and gay porn is a big discourage for me and would never ever PMO using that type.

    my situation is so weird. If I could kill the "trans with females" kinda addiction, I would totally kill my PMO addition.

    BTW, my excitement to this type of porn did not happen overnight. I've been addicted to porn for 10 years and of course started from simple solo women stuff all the way to "trans with female".

    Why am I still addicted to this type but I all other porn categories are no longer exciting!
     
  6. Onwards90

    Onwards90 Fapstronaut

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    I think its a sign of desperation , in a way were just as fucked up as the trans, we see a women and and we give in to sexual arousal we all sorts go through our mind, she's as fucked up and kink as I am ,she has the mind of a man , then again when were are turned on there's no going back , men are designed that once there turned on they just want to fuck end of. There is alot going on with this genre , that goes away when you stop giving into it..personally I think its manipulative. A straight guy jerking off to a women but is actually a fucking guy .were being manipulated massively we all need our heads checked for allowing ourselves to watch it,

    Some of these girls are extremely femine But they are fucking guys with cocks , any shame guilt we feel is because it isn't a natural feeling for us were being manipulated because they are extremely femine , there fucking guys , trans are also like nymphomaniacs so we are giving in and ignoring the fucking obvious, this needs to stop guys , we all need to resolve this issue and stop allowing ourselves to be manipulated because we have a porn addiction
     
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2019
  7. csparbs91

    csparbs91 Fapstronaut

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    Unfortunately yes you are being manipulated, but it’s not by the trans woman, it’s by yourself. Don’t blame someone else for you inability to control your desires. They are just living their lives, and a lot of times the can really only make a living in sex work. It’s you who has the problem. You fuel the ability for this to be a profession. They aren’t trying to manipulate you I to believing they are woman when in reality they are men in wigs. They are trying to live their lives happily and you are making it something it’s not. Try to get to the bottom of your issues because that’s how you heal. Focusing on other people and what they do will not help you in the long run. Share your experience and how you got to where you did, but don’t blame other people.
     
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  8. Onwards90

    Onwards90 Fapstronaut

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    It's the fema
    It's the female side that I'm drawn to and that there nymphos , im not into dick , had they been all obviousl male id have no interest , so it feels manipulative I'm not into being fucked that's not my kink here. My kinky is a women jerking off with the sex drive of man ,that's it. I love women but always have but to have a porn genre where women are essentially as dirty as a man and is extremely femine , it seems to be enough to ignore the obvious gay shit . But that the stuff that sticks in the mind and makes me sick . I know where I stand on this genre , the problem is how addictive porn has become . On regular porn I was fapping 4 times a day and fluctuating over the years fr many years , this is essentially a completely new concept , something I want to drop . Asap . Because I am not fucking gay , but the concept of a female being an extreme nympho, and has a cock like mine , it's intriguing. But at the end of the day they are fucking men but my brain is primal if there's a naked women well that overrides anything else , and seems to create it's own fill in the blanks to make it work. Why is it so addictive though is the problem., Not interested in gay porn , or men in the slightest . So why is this interesting . This does not exist in nature so whatever it is it is manipulative . I must be mentally ill
     
  9. csparbs91

    csparbs91 Fapstronaut

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    first off, no you are not gay, no gay man wants to have sex with a trans woman. Because they aren’t men. At least they aren’t wanting to be or appearing to be. Second, you’re not mentally ill. It’s exactly what your describing, you are seeing a beautiful woman, she just has something extra. That woman is not trying to manipulate you. Trust me it’s not malicious from her side. Don’t think of this as a negative, think of this as an opportunity to reset your brain. This is where the NoFap comes I to it. If you stick with it for a significant period of time, you can clear your thoughts and find out what it is that really turns you on.
    Lastly, if you are attracted to woman with a little bit more, it’s not the end of the world. It sounds to me that you aren’t mostly due to your amount of shame and disgust towards yourself. But you need to understand that it is not a negative thing. It’s not wrong. Some trans woman look 100% like woman, some have gone all the way to becoming a woman, but it’s for them. It’s not to trap for you or anything. Majority of the times at least. Just know that this doesn’t make you a screwed up person, it probably just means that you’ve confused your mind because regular porn just doesn’t do it for you anymore. Keep checking in to the forums, keep abstaining from PMO, and keep yourself positive with everything. Start training yourself to look at the positive side of things. Everything has a positive outlook. Good luck to you.
     
  10. Brooke_Lynn

    Brooke_Lynn Fapstronaut

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    Truth. TRUTH. It is so right what you say.


    Yup. Every guy I ever dated was str8.


    Correct again!

    @csparbs91 you have a ton of good and accurate insight. Thank you.
     
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  11. John Eses

    John Eses Fapstronaut

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    I don't blame trans for any attraction I had to them. It's not like some random guy went out of his way to become more feminine just to entrap me. But I do think a lot of trans women and men are also confused, it's just that they have decided to actually live out their fantasy. The statistics show that a large number of trans people are no happier once they transition. In fact, the suicide rate stays the same. I'm not saying that a small number of trans people are genuinely born into the wrong body, in the sense that their brain and body chemistry doesn't match their genitalia. But I think the actual number of people in that situation is tiny. Probably less than 1 in a million. I think many other trans people are just confused and have all sorts of other problems in their lives, and sexuality is such a huge component of public life today, and porn is so easy to access, that people start to associate their fantasies with reality. All of us are here because we fell into a fantasy world and it collided with our real world in a bad way, and we all realise the fantasy world is not sustainable. I think a lot of trans people go one step too far and many of them end up regretting it. You may think it's cruel of me to say that, but I say it as someone who, at one point in my life when many things in my life were out of control, got really into sissy porn, shaved, bought outfits, dressed up for guys, etc., and almost thought this was my destiny. But something brought me back from the brink and now I know it was a huge mistake. I realise how pathetic I had become. It wasn't because I hate trans people, it was because I realised how much I was being manipulated by porn. How, even when I was in the middle of being fucked by a guy, I actually felt disgusted by myself, not excited by it. And when I mixed with other trans people, I also realised that they did it for a whole bunch of reasons, but not necessarily because that's what they wanted. That's why I know you can overcome sissy fetish. It's not natural, it's not normal, it's not just someone expressing their sexuality. It's degrading and both the sissy and the daddy are doing something unnatural and even evil. People feel weird when you use words like evil, because we're taught that only religious nuts use that type of language. But I realised it's true. Some stuff is not just innocent play. It manipulates people's emotions. It strips away their dignity and self worth. It dehumanises us. And while porn is not always evil, it certainly has become a force for evil in the world because it ruins so many lives. It exploits both the people in porn and the people who consume it.
     
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  12. mutu

    mutu Fapstronaut

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    We're being manipulated no question about that, otherwise we would never be addicted to PMO. All of what we see in porn is damn fake and created in a way that will keep you going back over and over again. Yet our brains are strong enough to change the way we think of porn and torn any weird fetish we've. As for the trans porn, it's exceptionally dangerous because we instinctively would never imagine a "lady with a penis" unless we get introduced to it. And why these trans don't complete their transition, I mean if they want to be women why they keep their penis. They'd have never started they transition to female process if they still want to fu*k. So it's a dangerous zone because as PMO addicts we always look for unconventional stuff and maybe unreal stuff.
     
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  13. porsche4life

    porsche4life Fapstronaut

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  14. Vijay5610

    Vijay5610 Fapstronaut

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    I liked trans more than females i being straight still got addicted to trans body
     
  15. Onwards90

    Onwards90 Fapstronaut

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    It's only because you've escalated past the point where don't get off to normal porn as much anymore like with real women, if you've watched porn heavily for years it's goina happen , youl get bored of something if you don't take a break it's porn it's not like your actually taking part, part of it is fantasy , you get more stimulated from this other shit because it's freaky novel and the step up when you've tried your brain, I took a break from all porn and started watching regular porn again, my interest grew again and fetish.nah no fucking chance , you mad , I test it out to see where I'm at so I can understand my brain on porn and how it has led to this, my understanding is I'm only into fetishes when I'm way too overstimulated and have fucked up my dopamine to the point my interests when I'm in normal same mind aren't doing it.( That's porn , time to quit porn , jerking off to a screen llf) anyway it's clear to me that I've fries my brain and even a short stint rebuilds that connection to beautiful women, not a warped version , thats a fucking dude lol, porn addiction is a crazy thing ,

    What I've found is when I watch fetish shit , normal porn is difficult to connect with again, it's not because I prefer it, it's because it's overstimulating once you've reached that point , but that's not what I want not one fucking bit , it's just porn , and our brains can go in weird directions when they need more and more stimulation, the fact that normal porn has become depleted and people get fixates on this, is simply because it's novel , how many years it take to get user aroused by normal porn , like 20 years , your brain thinks this new shit is another 20 year stint of dopamine and novelty ,

    Again porn addiction is a fucked up thing , it's not reality it's not even your interests, it's an accumulation that literally alters the dopamine pathway .

    Again shirt stints of NoFap rebuilds my natural interest , long-term is really the only thing for it , to fully improve it,

    Would I rather watch tranny porn for a high a new buzz , and mess myself up and get pied . Fuck no , fuck that shit.

    Because my brains already buzzed , if I relapse the first time it's like eh this pretty gross , wtf am I doing , the more you watch the more you accustom your brain, hence the novelty and dopamine and people start looking past the actual reality of what there looking at and start creating fantasy, it's a sexy women with the sex drive of a man and knows. What it's like to have a cock, in reality it's a fucking guy, and in reality you don't want a warped version thats not even real, past the feminine exterior , listen to the voice , look at the masculinity if even mild in some regards instantly you see the guy underneath, your brains running away with novelty and porn addiction,

    You want women for the simple fact that we are different and there's nothing hotter than a real women and everything she has to offer, tranny porn is some bullshit, if you give into fantasy/ novelty and addiction .

    You really like a penis on a women instead of a nice wet pussy in need of your cock.

    I think not ,. I think you watched far too much shit , like the rest of us.
     
  16. KarmaWeaver

    KarmaWeaver Fapstronaut

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    Porn is seriously problematic... I have got to the point where I've been with a few trans women, and EVERYTIME I felt disgusted after cumming. I get that feeling that I wish I could disappear after the hornyness ends! I realized I was using those people to satisfy my twisted fetishes, and I had no real interest in them. It's a sad thing, for us and for them. And I'm still struggling against it, I've been with one trans girl this week and just relapsed this morning to some trans P. Feeling disgusted right now!! We can't let our guards down, this is a serious addiction we're facing, my friends...
     
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  17. Brooke_Lynn

    Brooke_Lynn Fapstronaut

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    For those interested in learning rather than projection and labeling, here is a good source:
    http://juliaserano.blogspot.com/

    ....fetishizing a group of people is not the groups problem, it’s your problem. Please grasp that concept.

    @OakenAxe really states the distinction between self-owning a porn addiction and fetishizing, and the outright blaming, blanket denigration, and criticism of a group of people. Fight porn, not people.

    YOUR PORN ADDICTION: Own it, don’t project blame to others.
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2019
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  18. Brooke_Lynn

    Brooke_Lynn Fapstronaut

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    OMG

    I sense serious projection here....
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/projection

    ....more specifically
    http://juliaserano.blogspot.com/2017/06/stop-pitting-detransitoners-against.html
     
  19. porsche4life

    porsche4life Fapstronaut

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    Brooke_Lynn likes this.
  20. John Eses

    John Eses Fapstronaut

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    I think we need to decouple the issue with porn and transitioning if children. I'm not saying there's no overlap, but I think they're not one and same.

    I think it's wrong for parents to encourage the transition of children. It is not clear to me that children know what they want and can make informed decisions before puberty. I also think many parents encourage their children to transition for a whole variety of selfish reasons... Virtue signalling, hatred of the opposite sex, attention seeking, etc. I don't see it as controversial to think that no one should be transitioned until they have gone through puberty and can make an informed and independent decision.

    I also find it a little disturbing that there appears to be so much interest in pushing children to define their sexuality at such a young age. It is creepy. Why are some people so interested in wanting a boy to be a girl or vice versa. There are undertones that are disturbing and no one seems to be concerned. If a straight man asked an underage girl to dress like a stripper and pole dance there would be outrage and criminal charges laid (and rightly so) yet when a gay guy encourages a 10 year old boy to dress in very sexualised "drag" and pretend to be a stripper, that's "healthy"? That's insane to me. And it's not because it's a gay guy asking... It's to do with the fact that some evil people are using trans rights as a cloak for their own perverted desires and that does a disservice to everyone, including genuine trans people.
     

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