Questions for those who have used Shemale prostitutes

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Luvspin68, Jun 30, 2019.

  1. verbeek75

    verbeek75 Fapstronaut

    20
    11
    3
    Not every porn addict progresses to TS and gay sex, porn addiction can go many ways, cheating and visiting escorts can become an addiction itself also.

    2 years ago I was in a very similar circumstances as your partner and my addiction got the better of me at some point. Really hated myself for it but was hard to stop.
    Luckily I soon met a girl, although at a setting considered also abnormal and perverted, still she was so nice and helped me out immensely, we only met one or twice a month but my obssession about TS/gay and other obsessions was completely gone and my porn addiction was very under control to nearly healed. I had no tendencies or even thoughts about them.

    Unfortunately, since december due to tinnitus and hyper accussis, I have become socially isolated and reverted back to porn addiction and as been spiraling down to more and more extreem porn. Just started on my journey and hoping to defeat this addiction again, altough don't know how, as I'm in a deeper hole then I have ever been in.

    I wish you all the best and your partner in defeating his addiction, and truly hope your partner appreciates the gem that you are.
     
  2. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

    71
    58
    18
    Hi Verbeek
    Thank you for sharing your story. It’s very hopeful for me to hear that it CAN be overcome. And the urges CAN stop. You have truly given me hope. So many here state it can be so difficult to overcome. Because it’s so ingrained.

    I’m so sorry about your situation with tinnitus. It’s heartbreaking to hear you are isolated and back to a bad spot. Be strong my friend. You have done it once and you can do it again!
    I’ll be pulling for you.
     
  3. verbeek75

    verbeek75 Fapstronaut

    20
    11
    3
    As everyone is different, I can only tell you my story, first time writing about it so here goes, I was completely obsessed and even doubted about my sexuality for many years and done things I'm not proud about myself, it was only after meeting this girl regularly, although we didn't have really long conversations, but the conversations we had were always with deep meaning and very understanding. She helped me more then she can ever imagine.
    Slowly I started watching less porn and masturbating, and just being busy with or watching other things.

    One day I was walking in the street and there was a gay pride event, I ended up meeting some gay, drag queens and TS partying as I'm very openminded i just enjoyed talking to them, just a complete normal fun conversation, when a pretty TS tried to come on to me, I apoligized politely that I didn't swing that way, but appreciated that she had tried. It was only much later in the evening that I realised that I rejected her completely as a normal straight guy, and realised that I hadn't been thinking, watching or having any urges about TS/gay porn or any other fetishes in many months, and I truly had only been attracted to women as a general and for the first time in a very long time, I felt completely that I was me, myself and I.
    Not because I wanted to be straight but simply I felt I was, after many years of confusion and doubt, there is nothing wrong about being bi or gay, but I ended up being so confused I just didn't know anymore. I opened up my most expensive scotch I had in the house (I almost never drink) and I almost cried, for realising I also had defeated my porn addiction. I started having a happy confusion and addiction free life.

    That is why I'm so depressed now, that porn addiction has come back and far worse then ever. The tinnitus has been ruling me in every aspect of my life and making me completely isolated. Noise is so sensitive I have to avoid it so much that I almost can't go anywhere, everywhere there is music or loud noises, I can only go to a quiet park or street, no music, tv no sound, everthing with subtitles only, if anyone in the neighbourhood has a party with loud music, I have to use earplugs and hide in the bathroom or go to a quiet park or street and I can't even feel save in my on home and friends started avoiding me, and I avoid them. Sleeping is a nightmare and I'm always scared going to bed, sleeping pills have become my friend. I have bad thoughts and porn has become my escape, but it spiraled to extreem horrible porn and hate myself even more for watching it.

    I can't do anything about my tinnitus, so at least trying to fight my addiction again is the only goal I have now. But it's so hard :-(
    Sorry about writing so much, just trying to keep my mind busy and getting things off my chest.
     
    cBettyford and Vendettana like this.
  4. cBettyford

    cBettyford Fapstronaut

    Liking a penis is not gay. A man loving a man is gay. Many gay men live in heterosexual relationships cause they ... are too afraid to live their truth?
    Shemales may be a substitute, a bridge. As the word says ... she male.
     
  5. Vendettana

    Vendettana Fapstronaut

    378
    585
    93
    Wow, thank you for sharing. It is a shame, what happened with that girl? I have heard that Tinitus is mainly due to stress. Everything gets tight in the head and you start hearing phantom noise? I was on sleeping pills in 2016, you have to get rid of them, it is not a solution. I don't know how, but you have to.
    All I can tell you is to watch some videos of Jordan Peterson on youtube. He is a hero to me, listening to this man helped me a lot to rediscover my personal values, why I suffered and what to do. One of his videos brought me here.
    He says that first of all, you need to get a routine. You have to wake up at the same time every morning, you have to eat a decent breakfast in the morning, with a lot of fat and protein. And you need to schedule your day. If you don't know this man, go and have a look.
     
  6. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

    71
    58
    18
    Cookie Monster
    I’m trying to understand your point.....
    So for clarification, liking a penis..not gay
    But liking a shemale.......maybe a bridge...... to being gay or bi?

    Thanks! appreciate your opinion
     
    FX-05 likes this.
  7. cBettyford

    cBettyford Fapstronaut

    Shemale can be a kick to see how far I can go, would go. And all addicts need new kicks, increase the dose. Maybe your BF is straight and simply a sex addict, so going to Shemales would serve his addiction.
    Others fear being gay, they hide it, marry, live in heterosexual relationships but their true nature is not resting. So they might see Shemales or cross-dressers, any form of one playing or being the female part and they are the male. This helps them not to face facts but pretend they are still real men ;), straight. Maybe your BF is bi? But cannot accept it due to same reasons as with being gay.
    Again ... to be gay or bi doesn‘t mean to reduce it to sexual activities only.
    What do you think? Addict or gay/bi?
     
  8. verbeek75

    verbeek75 Fapstronaut

    20
    11
    3

    Thanks for the advice, I will look it up. I know I need a routine, but not easy, due to the addiction I most of the time skip luch or dinner or just eat very late, I'm trying now.
    I regularly try sleeping without pills but only can sleep when I'm totally exhausted. I don't sleep much anyway, I'm in bed for 8 hours but only sleep 4 to 5 hours and I wake up about 2 or 3 times in between.
    I damaged my ears years ago going clubbing and ended up having tinnitus but it was light and basically I only heared it when I went to sleep in a quiet room, but I could lead a almost normal life just stopped clubbing, concerts and movie theaters.
    But during last christmas shopping in december I was at a shopping mall, there were so many people around that all the buzzing of the people was so loud I felt pressure in my ears, when I got home my tinnitus was screaming in my ears. My hearing is also extremely sensitive to noise (hyper accusis).

    The girl, lives far away and once or twice a month she is in a city nearby, but due to the sensitivity of my ears I'm afraid of trains, to much noise.
    So I hadn't met her since november last year. Actually last wednesday she was in a city nearby, I sent her a mail if it was okay to meet, took all my courage to take the train, used the best available earplugs and earmuffs to get there. She is such a kind person, we talked for a bit and later had sex, although my physical condition is much lower then it used to as I haven't exersized since december and I also had some problems maintaining my erection, definitely due to the porn addiction, she didn't mind anyway so we did have intercourse but ended up cuddling a lot more and talked for while. That day is also the day she encouraged me to beat this thing again and that's also when I registered here at nofap.
    Next wednesday I can meet her again although at a much more perverted setting which is her kink. It's incredible how this girl that is much younger then me understands me better then I do myself and can give me such a positive emotional boost and advice. Unfortunately she doesn't want any real relationship only being friends with benefits, I do think she also enjoys my company as not many people would accept her kink as I do.
     
  9. Vendettana

    Vendettana Fapstronaut

    378
    585
    93
    Exhausting yourself is not making you sleep. In 2015 I had insomnia all the time. I was working out like crazy, at least three hours a day, swimming, running. I was exhausted, but when I went to bed, my fatigue faded and I was lying around for hours. I started running at night in the forest, because I could not sleep. This is not working.
    Have a look at Jordan Peterson's videos.
    Have a look at this one, especially from 2:10:
     
  10. verbeek75

    verbeek75 Fapstronaut

    20
    11
    3
    Hi Luvspin68, I have been thinking about your situation. The problem is that he cheated and he shouldn't have, I admire your courage giving your BF a second chance. It means you really love him and hope he loves you too to put this behind and have a future together.
    Even when I was doubting myself I still never cheated on any girlfriend I ever had.
    It shouldn't matter if he is actually bi or not, there are lot of bi people but they still dedicate their life to the person they love. So if you are straight don't cheat with other women, if you are bi don't cheat with other women/men/TS, if you want a healthy relationship with someone. Sure there are a lot of people who want it both, it's a different lifestyle but that is not for every couple.
    He got caught, so I hope he learned his lesson and hope he realised even if he is bi and likes women and TS, in a good relationship he should you stay faithfull to you.
    If was due to porn addiction at least he can work on it.
     
  11. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

    71
    58
    18
    Hi Veerbek,
    That’s very strong of you to go on the train etc. to meet your friend. It sounds like she is a very nice person to have in your life. I just hope you don’t fall in love with her...... and have a broken heart. But it sounds like you have a handle on the situation.
    I really wish your tinnitus could be treated somehow/ someway.
    Don’t give up. Go to any doctor under the sun to get treatment.

    That isolation is so awful.

    As far as my situation, I agree, the cheating aspect is devastating enough.(regardless of with whom)

    It truly broke my heart. The lies.
    The fact he could actually, physically cheat.

    We are working to rebuild trust. Day by day.
    He does not admit to being an “addict “. And is stopping Cold Turkey....... acts like it is easy to Stop.

    So what was it? A hobby??

    It’s concerning.

    Anyway......... stay strong and take care of yourself best you can.

    I’m really pulling for you.
     
  12. Js100

    Js100 Fapstronaut

    9
    19
    3
    So if your boyfriend aware of nofap, heavy use of porn and all of this?
    You said hes been visiting shemale escorts, so its not just about porn. Its the real deal here.

    Did he agree to stop this?
    Do u have a very open and honest relationship?
    Has he shared with u why he does this?
     
  13. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

    71
    58
    18
    Hi Js

    Yes he has stated “it will never happen again”
    I do believe he has stopped.
    He claims it was “so infrequent “
    (Like 3-4 times per year)
    So it’s easy to stop ??

    He does not believe he has an addiction.
    He does not know about NoFap.


    The only explanation he could give was “ novelty “
    But he really said even “he doesn’t know why TS.”

    Open and honest relationships? I would say not..... because he was cheating.
    I try very hard to be open.
    He is very guarded

    He is extremely ashamed and embarrassed. So he will NEVER talk about it...... defenses go up.
    He is not opening up his deep dark secret...... at least not to me

    Anyway........ I’m so in the dark

    So any insight/advice would be SO
    welcome.
     
  14. porsche4life

    porsche4life Fapstronaut

    365
    272
    63
    I feel so bad for you and your boyfriend. It's not right what he's doing because it is cheating even if he is doing it with a man. I think this is porn induced, I watched ts porn but never got heavily into it because it made feel bad because it's not my thing. Never acted out with any ts prostitute and any prostitute in general and the thought of it just scares me, although I looked at some escort sites. I'm just expressing my condolences by posting here, so sorry for not giving any advice.
     
  15. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

    71
    58
    18
    Hey...... thank you for writing
    I do appreciate your sentiments.
    Makes me feel not so alone.

    Don’t worry about advice...... there is really not much anyone can say...... every case is SO different.

    But THANK YOU.
    Good luck on your journey.
    And enjoy your Porsche
     
    porsche4life likes this.
  16. porsche4life

    porsche4life Fapstronaut

    365
    272
    63
    Thank you! I hope to get my dream car the 911 GT3 one day.
     

Share This Page