Quitting for Good: A 21 day Plan

To quit permanently we need to have the Holy Spirit more empowered in us. Once we have “all” of the good habits we need, we can quit.

1. Read or listen to 1-2 chapters of the New Testament daily.
   
   
2. Pray for 20 minutes each day over 3 of the verses for quitting (in order)
   
   Matthew 6:22-23 “The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!
   
   Romans 6:12 ESV
   Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions.
   
   James 1:14-15
   But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
   
   Set your alarm for 20 minutes then read one verse, and pray about it. Read the next one, and pray about it, and continue for 20 minutes (don't cheat yourself by quitting early).
   
   
3. Pray for 15 minutes about your purpose. Pray about what God wants you to do today, this week, this month, and this year. If you struggle to know how to pray about purpose, buy the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, or search “Finding your Christian purpose” on Google.
   
   
4. Spend 20 to 30 minutes each day studying articles at this site. Take very specific notes so that you know “where” to find articles for each situation you encounter in life.
   
   
5. Pray for 5 minutes about “why” you will commit to doing this. Do you believe you can have joy and purpose? Are you willing to give up your short-term sinful fun (with destruction added) for God's great long-term joy?
   
   
6. When temptation overwhelms you, run as fast as you can to the verses for quitting every single time. No exceptions ever.
   
   
7. Have an activity list. After temptation hits, after you go to the verses for quitting, pick an activity and start doing it. You will not want to. It may not be perfect fun (until you start to dry out from the addiction). But it is vital to “Just start the activity and keep doing it.”
   
   
8. Pick a prayer to focus on each day. Pray it as often as you want, remembering that with each prayer we must be totally sincere, with an intense desire to change.

 

Day 2 is exactly like day one except that we pray for 20 minutes over the next 3 verses:

Psalm 119:37
Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.

Matthew 5:27-29
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.

Matthew 26:41 ESV
Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Other than switching these 3 verses we repeat all of the other steps.

 

For day 3 we pray for 20 minutes over the next 3 verses:

Proverbs 6:25 ESV
Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes;

Matthew 5:8 ESV
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 ESV
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Many may do a portion of what I recommended on day one every day, but only a few will do everything. Many will skip praying about purpose for 15 minutes daily.

James 2:17 “Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.”

Here is a story:

Jonny's birthday is next week. His naughty uncle Ralph told him: “I am going to give you $100 to bet on any horse at the track next weekend. If you win the big one you can keep it all.”

Jonny said, “I will bet it all on my fav horse Black Lightning.”

Two days later Black Lightning was struck by lightning and he died instantly.

Now I have never bet horses, but I would no longer bet on Black Lightning after his run-in with white lightning. He is dead.

In addiction, the problem with faith without works being dead is... dead people need “something.” Instead, work diligently on having faith “with works.” When we have faith with works or faith with a diligent plan to someday have works we have something. We are alive, we are alive with Christ.

Consider praying: “Father, take away this spirit of lust and help me to care about helping others, and souls.”

Last, if you don't have time to do everything on the daily list (from day one), work on the daily verses first, but then do at least a little bit of everything.

 

To quit in 21 days it is vital to learn the habit of turning from lust. I have written several articles on this. This habit is a key to quitting. Second, even when we start to acquire this habit we still need to be careful. For example, when you are feeling good physically and Spiritually, with this habit you will be able to forward fast risky TV scenes and turn off shows when they are going to sink you. But even after you have that habit it is important to be careful when you are tired, angry, frustrated, or in any other riskier condition. When you are run down “Only watch squeaky clean TV.” When you have little to no fight, that is when satan will put up his best fight. In these conditions give him “No openings.”

On day 4 we change to praying for 20 minutes over the next 3 verses:

John 10:10 ESV /
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Psalm 101:3 ESV
I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me.

Romans 6:16 ESV
Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?

We have 6-7 minutes to pray over this first verse. It tells us what is happening when we start to see something risky, and we want to keep looking. The thief (satan) is coming to kill and destroy. We want to look or think about what he is offering. Instead, we need to think at those exact times about what this verse says. It tells us what is happening in that situation.

I merely have the habit of turning from lust in tempting situations. A Biblical hero like Joseph probably had full awareness that the thief was tempting him in his famous story where he ran from a beautiful woman. Maybe if I memorized that verse I would have a bit more awareness of what is really going on.

Second, if you want to learn to hate P, set an alarm and read this 2nd verse (Psalm 101:3) every hour for a month. It will help.

Finally, complete all the daily steps listed on day one.

 

Here are the next 3 verses to pray over for 20 minutes:

1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

2 Timothy 2:22 ESV
So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

Ephesians 5:5 ESV
For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

To quit for good we study quitting articles at this site for 20-30 minutes each day. But if you want to quit in 21 days you need to read, reread, and almost memorize the key articles that you need for quitting. I don't know which aricles you need to study, but you need to know exactly which articles you need.

Consider starting by scanning the titles of articles over the past 15 months. Write down the titles or copy and paste the link of titles to see which ones are great for your situation so that you can later scan the articles. When you do find articles that are perfect for you, decide how often you should read the article over the next ten days.

For example, you never watch TV, but when life crushes you, you turn to P. To solve this problem or any similar to it... find the right articles, and study them until you can develop new habits on how to react when life stinks.

Reading them is merely the start. Step two is taking that information to construct a plan so that you can make a new habit so that you can overcome the opening. Step three may be praying about your new habits, and developing a system to remind yourself of exactly when and how you want to change.

The point is that we need to solve the 1-3 main triggers that lead us back to lust. Once you have figured out which articles help you solve them, it is better to read, reread, and study those articles over and over than it is to find new ones. Study, think, and pray over them until you have a plan in your head on how to fight back 24 hours a day. Continue to study them until you have “new habits.”

When you have a complete plan for all your triggers, the triggers start to lose their power.

 

Here are the next three verses to pray over for 20 minutes.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 ESV
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;

Romans 1:KJV 24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonor their own bodies between themselves:

25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed forever.

1 John 2:16 ESV
For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.

My parents had their religious traditions. Some were good, some were something. 95% of us are like this. Our parents and church help shape us in a good way. But then bad habits rear their ugly head, and we want answers based on the way we were brought up. But the answers we are given sometimes push us to traditions, not freedom.

I suspect that often people read my articles and think, “That's not the way my family does it, That's not the way our church does it.” But in order to find freedom we need to find out the way that the Bible does it. For example: I recommend praising the Lord. If your background did not include doing this you may want to do a Google search: “How many times does the Bible say to praise the Lord.” When I did that it said 259 times for praise and 33 times for the exact phrase “Praise the Lord.”

Just last night I was in a room alone watching TV, not wanting to watch anything. I could feel a bit of darkness crawling in so I started to praise the Lord. Quickly my mood started to improve and then I felt like watching the Cubs game.

Second, some people think I am such and such denomination when I recommend a book. Not likely. I recommend a book based on how it can help everyone. Tommy Tenny's church is likely way different than your church or my church, but he has such great information about finding the Glory of God. We would have zero addictions if we had the glory of God all over us.

Honestly, I only got a tiny bit of the glory of God when I last read his book “The God Chasers,” years ago. But when I read it I knew that it was out there for Christians who were more obedient than I was, and who spent more time seeking the Lord.

Since I have gone to war with sin my joy has hugely increased and I am starting to live a lot more in the glory of God just like the book said. Who knew?

God wants us to know about His glory. Don't stay in a denominational box unless that box has your joy and purpose increasing. That does not mean leaving your church. It means putting the Bible first and being open to quitting tips that are directly from the Bible.

Finally, complete all the daily steps listed on day one.

 

Here are the next three verses to pray over for 20 minutes.

Hebrews 13:4 ESV Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Philippians 4:8 ESV Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Colossians 3:1-10 ESV If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. ...

We are what we think. Our thoughts will stray unless have a goal. Now we have a goal to quit in 21 days. Now we know that we need to have an emergency meeting about our thoughts so that we can achieve that goal.

Most of us have 3 distinct situations where our thoughts stray toward lust. It could be going to work, school, or any of a dozen places. It could be when we choose our TV programs, or when what we thought was a clean show starts down the wrong path. It could be when bad things happen, or when people sever your last nerve.

Write down what situations cause an increase in bad thoughts. Next, write down your plan to change that.

What Type of Person really Quits?

The person who quits is someone who will search articles, pray, and come up with a great written plan for changing the way they think.

The person who really quits will be finding their purpose “while” they quit. Many of you have been praying about purpose, and maybe you have no idea of where to start. Well, #1 try something. #2 Below is how you can help a bunch of people.

In one week I am adding a new thread named “Index.” In this index, I want to list where all the articles are located for a given subject. Some of you in this program have extra time on your hands and that is part of the problem. But now you can make it part of the solution. You see, other people are super busy, they want to find the 23 best articles on changing the way they think, but they are overwhelmed with life. You can fulfill an important part of your purpose by joining the below program.

The Index program involves signing up for a given month, or a 3-month or 4-month period from the past. Your part in the program is to make an index for what category that each of the articles for that period fit in. Here are the initial categories:

1. Change your thinking
   
   
2. Activities
   
   
3. When life runs you over
   
   
4. Finding purpose
   
   
5. Triggers
   
   
6. Running from lust
   
   
7. Embracing the Bible
   
   
8. Prayer
   
   
9. Finding light and joy
   
   
10. Overcoming emotions

To work on a given month just copy and paste the above list into a Google doc, or Word file. Then link or write down any articles for the month that fit in any category. For example if I look at May 2nd with my article on stress. I would put it in the category of When life runs you over. See below.

Change your thinking

Activities

When life runs you over 1

Finding purpose

Triggers

Running from lust

Embracing the Bible

Prayer

Finding light and joy

Overcoming emotions

Note: To make the link I first put a one by the category, highlighted the 1, clicked on the link above, and then copy and pasted the article link into that number.

If you don't know how to make links, simply put the date of the article and writer next to the category and I will link it later. I will give you any help you need at any point.

Why do this? When you do this you are helping yourself, helping others, getting help from the Holy Spirit, and doing a great distraction activity.

To get involved please click on my name and message me by clicking “Start a conversation.” Just let me know if you want to do 1 month or more, and we will get started.

At some point soon we will have a very nice index. That will help a lot of people.

Finally, complete all the daily steps listed on day one.

 

Here are the next three verses to pray over for 20 minutes.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 ESV For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 ESV Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

Job 31:1 ESV “I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?

Finally, complete all the daily steps listed on day one.

 

Here are the next three verses to pray over for 20 minutes.

John 14:15 ESV “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.

Titus 2:11-14 ESV For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.

1 Corinthians 6:13 ESV “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

Many will read every word of this 21-day program. Some will read it plus do “some” praying over the verses, and some praying about purpose. A few will do everything exactly as written down to the last minute.

Now, what if you are super busy? Maybe on weekdays you are overwhelmed with activities and you want to do everything in the program, but you keep running out of time. Step one. Keep restarting. Let's say you did a little before work/school, plan to restart at 4,5, or 6 PM. Now you have softball, restart the program at 8 PM, now you have online work. Restart at 10 Pm.

Now this is starting to be a little bit fanatical. What are we supposed to do, “Present our bodies a living sacrifice, Holy and acceptable, which is our reasonable service?” Well, since that is a Bible verse... I guess so.

The second key for a busy person is to be ready to put in a little extra time when you have more time. Extra is not quite being a living sacrifice, but it is a start.

Second, what if you are not that busy but you are no good at studying this much or praying this much? Step one. Consider upping your standards. You think there are other important things in life. But, outside of family, there are very few important things other than serving God. Believe what the wisest man ever (Soloman) said: “All is vanity.” Only doing what God wants us to do matters.

We underestimate how important being in God's will is. Consider praying:

“Father, show me how important Your will for me is.”

Third, it's not how you start the program, it's how you finish. Finish strong.

Finally, complete all the daily steps listed on day one.

 

Here are the next three verses to pray over for 20 minutes.

Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Ephesians 6:11-17 ESV Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. …

Galatians 5:1 ESV For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.


Why do all of these daily steps? When we are quitting with a short-term goal like, “30 days,” we may be able to motivate ourselves with simple goals like avoiding destruction as well as other things. But, if we want to quit for good we need to have goals that really have teeth. Goals like having joy and purpose. I linked these two goals together because they go together. Biblical Paul had fullness of joy (10 out of 10) in large part because he had fullness of purpose.

This is challenging because finding purpose is sometimes tough. But the good news is that step one to finding purpose is making a commitment to finding purpose. Step two to finding purpose is to go to war with sins that are keeping us from finding our purpose. Therefore, when we go to war with lust along with a commitment to purpose we will start to see glimpses of this joy as we start to progress.

Then we focus on these glimpses of joy and ask ourselves: Would fullness of joy be even greater?

Years ago I would read about Biblical joy and I rarely experienced any of it. Now that I am going to war against sin and seeking purpose, I have a lot of joy. My life is way better now.

Consider setting (and praying about) a goal of joy and purpose. It is a huge key to quitting.

Finally, complete all the daily steps listed on day one.

 

Here are the next three verses to pray over for 20 minutes.

Psalm 119:9-10 ESV
How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments!

1 John 3:4-10 ESV /
Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness. You know that he appeared to take away sins, and in him there is no sin. No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him. Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous. Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. …

Proverbs 7:21-27 ESV
With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver; as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life. And now, O sons, listen to me, and be attentive to the words of my mouth. Let not your heart turn aside to her ways; do not stray into her paths, ...


We are more aware of what we want, rather than what is actually going on. It is a very rare person who says: Today I will look at porn. “Porn will ruin my week, my relationship with God for the week, it will cause a bunch of darkness and destruction, it will kill my purpose, it will kill my chance at joy.”

How can we learn to “know” what is going on? By memorizing the above sentence.

Second, we need to be aggressively pursuing a great life. When you find articles about living a vibrant great life, grab onto them. You need to experience some of the joy of the Lord. You need to experience living “In the Light.” You need to experience at least a tiny bit of the “Glory of God.”

Third, the most important thing that is going on is what God wants us to do. Everything else other than family is just a grand illusion. Keep consistently working on figuring out what God wants. It will put you on the right path.

“The pursuit of purity is not about the suppression of lust, but about the reorientation of one’s life to a larger goal.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Finally, complete all the daily steps listed on day one.

 

Here are the next three verses to pray over for 20 minutes.

Galatians 5:19-25 ESV “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. …”

Put away the first group and pray over and do more of the second group.

1 Peter 2:11 ESV Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.

Colossians 3:5 ESV / Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

Finally, complete all the daily steps listed on day one.