Quitting Hard Mode

I've promised myself that if I relapse this November, I'll need to think differently on this whole NoFap thing. I've been trying to reach 90 days for one year and eight months now, yet couldn't pass one month clean.

I've asked myself how come? I meditate, try to keep myself busy, seeing a therapist, yet can't seems to succeed.

I think it's because of a two core beliefs: 1. Masturbation is OK. 2. It's not ok to hang my sexual needs on other people but myself.

My reason for NoFap is eliminate Porn and sex video chats out of my life. I put so much effort to not pmo where my true enemy is p/chats.

About the second belief: I think that waiting till I'll get a girl and wait for the girl to want to have sex is quite absurd. If you are a true man, you need to take care of all your need by yourself. I believe that once you take this responsibility on your own, you will feel less anxiety to approach girls because you won't come from a place of neediness.

Yes, you might think this is all excuses so I'll feel better about myself for not completing reboot. It might be but I got from indulging every second day to a few times in a month which is hell of a progress. Not to mention the knowledge I've gained about my brain on porn, masculinity and modern processes, and committing to be a better man.

I wrote this to suggest another opinion from the Hard Mode mainstream going on here. If you don't agree, just remember that NoFap should serve you. Not the other way around. and also recommend visit a therapist if you have thoughts on this.

Wish you all the best guys!

 

Totally agree man. I know for sure I'm having that issue, but maybe rewiring myself to healthy masturbation without screens will have more impact than abstaining all sexuality, which keeps the association between P and MO.