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Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by WayIare, Oct 31, 2019.
By the way, I too love Brisket.
No, I haven't read it. My knowledge of gender/sex interactions comes largely from my own regrettable experiences.
I was just like you. I am glad I got Rollo Tomassi-pilled. Holyshit this man is doing God's work.
Yeah, I definitely do not agree with that at all. But that's getting into a whole other debate.
Perhaps yes, perhaps no. But you'd also lose a lot of really great things along with that.
I mean that's kind of like saying that you won't suffer the pain of losing a loved one if you just don't ever love anybody. Sure, that's technically true, but what kind of life is that? (Rhetorical question. I doubt we will come to an agreement on this, so I'm not really interested in debating it.)
That reminds me of that time when Uncle Alex Jones held up a platter of all kinds of delicious meats.
You look like you know how to party Sir.
I've recently dealt with that. If she's friendzoned you, you're allowed to be upset and feel like crap. But it's best to cut contact for your own benefit, sanity and well-being. If she doesn't like that, then tough. You've decided to move on and basically told her that she can't have her cake and eat it.
The unfortunate thing is... At the end of the day. I'm a lonely person. And simetimes we take less than what we really want because we don't think we can get what were really after.
Yes, but that's not a healthy mindset to have. The key is keeping your options open. In this instance, get out there, ask more girls for dates. Don't put all your eggs in one basket, as it's often said.
Lol I never said it was healthy. Just that that's how it is.
Unfortunately, as I've shared in a different posting, the last few months of my life have been awful. Not awful in the sense that I'm just a bit depressed but major things have happened in my life to set me back heavily.
Anyways... A few years my life fell apart. I had a bit of a renaissance. A toxic person left my life and I got out into the world and did things that I never thought I could do. And I succeeded.
Maybe this is history repeating itself and
I'll see a similar rise.
I'm wildly off topic. She just seemed really nice and we had a lot in common and sometimes I sit there trying to figure out how I screwed up my life so bad. And she's just easy to talk to.
Most of the time, getting in the friendzonr is game over. MOST of the time. Its happened to me a few times in my dating career.
The exception is my wife. Initially, I was friendzoned. And it was a confusing and unusual relationship. But we are married now. Been together 9 years, and its the best thing that ever happened to me.
But generally speaking, it usually doesnt work.
Yes I agree. I was only able to get myself out once. Always fun when you do haha. But for the most part... It's like a dog chasing it's tail.
Men are pursuers while women are the ones who are pursued. Just nature for rejection and friendzoning to happen. She friendzoned you, her loss. Don’t mourn over the rejection and stalk/lust over her. It’s over, move on, go no contact, remove her numbers and social media, and find someone else that will enjoy being with you and cares. Don’t get butthurt over the rejection.
Yes it hurts, but it’s the way of life unfortunately. Don’t worry, the more you ask women out the more you won’t take the rejections as a big deal. Imagine if a woman who you do not like finds you attractive and wants to start a relationship. Would you do it? Probably not because there is a lot of work to make a relationship succdssful. I believe in you that you can find someone special that you love as well as they love you.
Exactly, going no contact and walking away is the best move. Again, like what he said. It's her loss and not worth the time and energy.
We all come across the term "friendzone" sooner or later. The older I get I can see clearer how adopting it can prevent boys from growing into adult men. It's really the mindset of a manchild. Some woman doesn't want to have sex with you? Grow up and move on. Even better, be friends. Acquaintance, casual or deep friend. What ever naturally develops, no forcing anything. No contact may very well be the natural flow. Seriously, as men, do we want to get the reputation of throwing a temper tantrum just because some woman says no?
It can be tough, sooner or later we have to make the decision to grow up.
First off, the friendzone sucks and hurts a lot. That being said if you haven't decided to exclusively date each other I don't really think her going on a date should be something that upsets you. Friendzone is something you do to yourself based on the way you handle the situation, and I think here it seems that's still optional from the way you described it. She went on a date, so what? That's her right, so don't be the nice supportive friend, be the guy who wants to date her more and is the better choice. Be cool with the date but make your interest crystal clear and if she rejects you and romance is all you want then move on, that way you aren't friend zoning yourself.
I will share an interesting an interesting point of view....
I'm not interested in men.
At my gym, there's an older gentleman would I have say has a crush on me. He's obviously interested. I however make it very clear that by discussing women and this and that that I don't swing that way. Hes an interesting and worldly man otherwise and we discuss some different things. He even has a son around my age.
You could say... He's in the friend zone.
So, am I an asshole?
I've been on the same boat as you, and trust me, it's not worth trying to make her want to date you because that's probably never going to happen. Why would you even waste time on someone who isn't sure about you? I know it sucks so bad because you think you did everything right and you're a good match for her but for some reason she either couldn't see it or it wasn't enough for her (or it was even too much for her to handle); so, if you wanted a relationship and she didn't then it's fair to put yourself first and stop talking to her, delete her number and move on, you wouldn't want to intentionally hurt yourself and think of what it could've been every single day, it takes a huge toll on your mental well being. If she was really special to you, you can give yourself a few days or a few weeks even to get over it, that's normal, but you have to slowly adapt to the idea of not having her in your life and you can't get hung up on her, because then you're not going to want anyone else and you're not going to want to date again for months or even years, and that's when it becomes obsessive and not normal, so watch out. Good luck and sorry this happened, but hey you're not the first it's ever happened to.