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Nothing happened to her in past but when i was 13 or 14 , almost 6 years ago,my mother and i where in house and all of a sudden the door broke and it was one of our neighbors attacking us.so they attacked my mother(no rape at all) with a knife and then i was attacked after her.
All of my depression and OCD comes from that day.i even tried lots of drugs with no help.this is my story and i think its related to this thought.
That's awful. No wonder you have these worries. That's completely understandable.
Of course I still stand by everything I said about worrying, but don't forget to give yourself some grace! You've been through a lot, and it's natural to feel the way you do after something that traumatic.
I have this weird thing where a) I worry about my Dad dying, as I mentioned, and b) I just in general worry when things are going too well, that the other shoe is going to drop and everything is going to come crashing down. Which hinders me from enjoying life when it's actually going well.
I was wondering why I feel this way so much and feeling frustrated about it, when one day my mom mentioned that I've been through quite a lot of crazy moments like that. A lot of unexpected tragedies. The most notable of which being my dad collapsing in the hallway when I was a kid, because his spinal cord has essentially snapped. I remember sitting in the backyard with my sister, crying and trying not to hear him screaming. He ended up having to have surgery and stay in facility a couple towns away for like a month or more. He was (and still is) partially paralyzed from all of that. He was in a wheelchair for s while, then a walker, then a cane until he finally learned how to walk on his own again.
And then fast forward to a couple years ago when he had a heart attack out of the blue and had a couple stents put in. The blockage in his heart was in such a position that they literally couldn't possibly do a biopsy. So basically if the stents don't work, there's nothing else they can do. He's changed his diet and it doing much better now, but still....
And then there have been other crazy things as a teenager, too. Losing the home I grew up in because my parents went bankrupt, a pretty traumatic and awful breakup that really messed me up for a while, my sister getting married and moving out was pretty hard as a kid who had lived with her so closely for so many years, etc.
I find it somewhat comforting to remember that I have some reasons why I have these fears. It helps me to give myself grace. If someone else told me these stories about their life and said they had these fears, I would be like "well of course you do! That's a lot of crazy stuff to go through!" But we are often harder on ourselves than we are on others.
