Hello everyone, So I'm in my late 30s, and for the Nth time I'm trying to go into a reboot to retake my life. My issue is that I've been doing very dumb things. So essentially a few months back I was in a relationship for my first time ever. The relationship wasn't that great and the sex was extremely lame, but I feel like little by little I was getting progress. I could get an erection only by touching my girlfriend which was a good thing. Sadly, the relationship failed, so I found myself alone again. I tried to go back to PMO, but I found that extremely lame because I wanted human interaction, so in desperation I started to reach out to escorts. I would initially just texted them and kind of lead them into a dirty conversation, like let's get together, let's shower together, let's have sex without protection, and stuff like that. Bottom line is that I was able to hook up with four escorts. Sex again was very lame. With the first I couldn't even have sex because I ejaculated while we were making out fully clothed (I know, super lame). With the next two I was able to have full oral and vaginal sex. I used boner pills, but still the sex was super short and lame (I clearly have PE). With the fourth one, we only had unprotected oral sex, but then my anxiety kicked in and I freaked out about a potential STD. I knew that there was minimal risk for an STD via oral sex, but still my anxiety was so big that I had to take a complete STD panel test just to make sure that I didn't catch something. The doctor and many webpages stated that there was no risk for most STDs via oral sex, but still my anxiety was killing me. Anyway, I promise to myself after that experience that I was done with escorts forever, but today I found myself texting with escorts again. Seriously, wth is wrong with me? Had anyone experienced something similar? What should I do? I already have a session with a therapist next Monday. Should I look for a support group? At this point I'm so desperate that I don't know what to do.