Ready to Change my Life; Looking forward to Joining a Community that can Help me do it!

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by United States Pageant Model, Jun 14, 2017.

  1. Hey everyone! I'm a new member here, not necessarily new to NOFAP, but.... I've recently found that I'm having a lot of trouble doing it myself. It's very clear to me that I'm addicted, because it's incredibly hard to stop. I started my own company at 19 and ran Nightclubs/Yacht Parties/Events/Entertainment for a couple years so I have quite a bit of experience with blow as well as having been smoking cigarettes since I was 14ish with on and off breaks.

    Both of those were no problem for me to stop (ok it was kind of hardish, but I did it without all THAT much trouble), so I KNOW I have the willpower to do this, I just... need a little help and some courage.

    Little bit about me: I just turned 24, I've probably been struggling with this addiction (PMO, masturbation, sex in general) since my early/mid teens. Was extremely shy in school, unathletic, utterly horrid with girls, one of those cats that couldn't find a date to the prom so I got wasted and went to the afterparty early instead.

    Originally it seemed to help with my disease (my intestines were all messed up and twisted around themselves), for some reason it took the pressure off my stomach/dopemine release countered the pain; I'm not really sure (this could just be a rationalization but it really did seem to help.

    Anyway fast forward to now... I got my intestines removed, been hospitalized 46 times, had multiple surgeries, nearly died a few times etc. BUT THAT ISN'T WHAT'S RUINING MY LIFE!!!!!!! I can handle that. What's really ruining my life is my fucking porn addiction/masturbation/sex, I've only ever admitted this once (and it was to my Dad); otherwise I've been so incredibly ashamed. I thought I was the only Muslim guy that had this problem (was surprised but really happy to see a community for Muslims! Not that we aren't all in it together, I just know they might understand some of the added... cultural and religious issues with my problem and why I haven't actively sought help).

    Basically, when I go more than 5-6 days without any kind of Orgasm I'm like.... A God. Ok shitty description, I'm.... about 999999999 times stronger/more determined/happy etc. Like people can see a noticeable difference and nobody can figure out what it is but... I guess you guys can.

    I have really bad Social Anxiety and Depression, I do Full Time Modeling and worked in Entertainment so I kinda had to deal with it (Doctors pills helped), but when I don't Orgasm.... It all just magically goes away (like it's incredible how well it works).

    I'm lonely all the time (not actually horrid with women, I've hooked up with many but can never keep a steady relationship, I used to blame the disease but it's the Porn addiction that changes how you react in situations, because again without Orgasming everything seems to be going great). Also I should specify, generally Sex doesn't bring on the same issue as Masturbation, I mentioned a Sex Addiction because of how much I'm on online dating sites/picking up girls etc.

    OH, and very important, it changes literally everything with women. If I go a couple days without masturbating it's.... incredible, I can talk to women with absolutely no trouble (even the perfect 10's I model with), WHEN I DO THOUGH; I can barely look them in the eye (really my eyes start twitching a bit, combination of anxiety/allergies). I've gotten the hottest girls I've ever been with when I haven't fapped, it all just flows so easily.

    So anyway the reason I'm really here now is I'm in a National Pageant.... for Mr. United States. I've been training but I just can't get rid of the Masturbation addiction and it's really affecting my performance in the gym. I need to get a lot stronger to be ready for August, the level of competition at Nationals is nuts; and I'm terrified of looking stupid on stage in a speedo next to my competitors and worse; making my home state look bad.

    I have to beat this, not just for the Pageant but for my life too. I've seen the effects of NOFAP; I can work on developing my app, do school, date a couple girls casually, party with my friends, exercise, write a book and do like 5 other things at the same time (like juggling in a schedule) on NOFAP and it feels really good. So I gotta do this if I want to fix my life and get where I want to go.

    Plus I'm tired of feeling suicidal/depressed; shouldn't feel that way, tried every anti depressant and anti anxieties, the thing that helped the most? NOFAP.

    Anyway that's probably not everything and sorry for this longass essay haha, it was important I got out as much as possible. And if I didn't write this now I'd probably wait another week to get it done.

    I'm on Day 1 now, and I'm going to fight for it. Cheers!
  2. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Thank you for sharing your story.

    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

    The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2017
  3. Jim C

    Jim C New Fapstronaut

    Why do you think masturbation is a bad thing ? Doctors say it is a healthy activity. Masturbation when it is done with other impure reasons (sexual fantasies, lustful thoughts, etc.) can make masturbation wrong ... but if you can do it for the emotional high, and only that ... I think you'll be okay.

    I did some biblical research, and Masturbation is okayed by God in Romans 14:14, where Paul says, "I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing in itself is unclean." This refers to the unclean ways talked about in Leviticus 15:16-19: "emission of semen;" and "women having their monthly periods." Both were taken off the "unclean list" in Romans 14. How masturbation got moved to the "sexual impurity" list ... I don't know. But, I don't ever think God considered masturbation to be a sin. In the Old Testament, sins always had to be forgiven by a "sin offering." There is no mention of a sin offering needed in Leviticus 15 for "emission of semen," or "women having their monthly periods." Leviticus 15: 19 says, "When a woman has her regular flow of blood, the impurity of her monthly period will last seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean until evening." We don't hold women to this "7 day rule," nor do we expect women to tell us when they are having their period (so we can not touch them for those 7 days). Why did we change the classification of masturbation to "sexual impurity ?"

    It used to be only considered by God to be "unclean" in the Old Testament. Then that "unclean" was overridden in Romans 14 by Paul with information coming from the Lord.
  4. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    This is an incorrect reference. In Romans, Paul is not referring to Leviticus, he is is referring to the Old Testament law where God's people were not to eat certain meats, namely pork. You quote Romans 14:14 but you fail to add Romans 14:15-17 which gives verse 14 more context. Those verses read:

    “For if because of food your brother is hurt, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy with your food him for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let what is for you a good thing be spoken of as evil; for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.”
    ‭‭Romans‬ ‭14:15-17‬ ‭NASB‬‬

    In the Old Testament, eating of a pig was considered unclean but in the New Testament, that was no longer so. Chapter 14 speaks of not only this but that who knows the truth should not be harsh to one who does not know the truth. It also says that if eating or drinking should cause a weaker person to stumble, one should refrain from it in the other's presence.
  5. I dunno about all the religious stuff, can't say I've read more than a few pages of the Bible do no idea.

Share This Page