Ready to quit once and for all

Hi everyone

I'm a British man in my early 50s, artistically / musically inclined, reasonably intelligent, close to my family and friends and compassionate towards others.

I've used porn since I was about 12 or 13. As is so often the way, I found some magazines lying around in various places and was both compelled and sort-of revolted by what I saw. This was the beginning of a lifelong furtive habit, which became a full-on compulsion following the mainstreaming of digital porn from the '90s on.

I have had good romantic and sexual relationships, but when my last serious relationship ended badly about seven years ago I found myself retreating into the solace of porn and have remained there since. It is so draining and depressing. I've done so much work to heal other areas of my life and this destructive behaviour remains the final hurdle that I just haven't been able to clear.

There is so much I want to achieve, both in terms of my personal and creative ambitions and with romantic / sexual partnerships. I know these things can't happen as long as I continue to use porn. I am desperate for it to finally be gone from my life.

I've tried a couple of interventions in the past: Hypnotherapy/NLP and a brief visit to a group therapy session at a psychiatric clinic that I found so somber and dark I had to nip it in the bud.

I am seriously encouraged by what I've seen and heard of NoFap so far though, and sincerely hope it may finally be the thing that breaks this pernicious and life-draining habit once and for all.

It's probably also worth mentioning that in the past (more than ten years ago now) I had a long term problem with alcohol abuse. I beat that under my own power and have been happily sober for years. My method for quitting was to remove myself completely from people and places where alcohol happened, reinforced by positive displacement activities like exercise and journaling.

Quitting porn is much more problematic though because, as you know all too well, if you own a computer it's always right there. And unlike with alcohol where you escape into a stupor, with porn you escape into a rich and seemingly infinite alternate reality. I dearly hope that with the support and guidance available through this website I'll finally be able to kick it.

I hope you're doing OK yourself, and I'll look forward very much to hearing from you.

 

Hi Robbiebob

Thanks so much for the welcome--I appreciate it very much. Yes, porn sucks the life out of us. I don't like to think of the things I might have achieved, the sleep I've lost, the hundreds of books I didn't read over the last 20 years because of it. I feel sure that if I can hold steady for 12 - 18 months I can truly beat it. I'm going to need to completely reform my access to computers as a whole for it to work; I've known that for years, but I just haven't done it. Self-discipline and strict organisation will be the keys.

I hope you're doing all right yourself. If you need to talk, I'm here. - Greg

 

Thanks Woof! Good to meet you--fraternal blessings and wishes of support from me to you.