Realisation about fapping/sex

its 2018 now. I am 26. I have been addicted to fapping for at least 15 or 16 years. I have recently realised how bad things were: e.g. looking at magazines and also using "erotic masseuse" girls.

realised how to the erotic massage websites are often very glamorous looking. They say things like

"
we are so confident that we guarantee you'll leave us 100% satisfied. All of our new clients fall in love with our professional manner, our stunning girls and our exceptional approach to customer care."

The poses look glamorous and sexy, but often the girls dont even have those clothes or actually are not that good looking. Many of them smoke, drink or dont even exercise. Their body/looks aare unlikely to last unlike other girls.

I realised that in the past 4 years I must have spent around £10,000 on this addiction. I could have bought a new laptop, wardrobe and books.

Also realised how (hardcore porn) exaggurates sex with loud noises and thrusting movements. But the reality is something like karezza - more loving and calm...

 

Also I have almost quit social media and the facebook stalking habit. a girl at the gym (friendly one), when i mentioned her blog, casually said that she hated social media and teased me that I was stalking her. Sometimes I imagine that the 10K was spent with her as a girlfriend/soulmate.

 

Looking forward to quitting PMO this year or the next!! Many of these erotic massage girls have little going for them. I realise some are having sex with clients (although the website says this is not allowed). Lucky that i didnt catch anything...Really looking forward to quitting them

 

realised how shallow the whole fapping thing is. really drives away the girls. going to talk to the gym trainer tomorrow. ask her something nice about gyms.

 

I was reading a little bit about the model kelly brook and her experiences modelling. It really opened my eyes when she said that all boobs are beautiful, rather than just big onea. On her instagram there are many photos of her holidays and hobbies (gardening). Even the ones where she has a bikini and is showing cleavage she never boasts about her body. She usually says something like "sunshine". She even opened up about the challenges - big boobs hurt and the boob sweat.

I realised she is just a human being and her ambition was actually to be an actress, rather than a boob model.

However, one day i would like to date a similar girl. I hope that by quitig porn, i can interact better with girls. My challenge is not to fap rest of week.

 

another realisation - on a newpaper website there was a post about kelly brook sunbathing topless on holiday. i realised that there is nothig unusual for women to remove their tops at the beach, why should their boobs be a taboo? maybe it is more comfortable for them. men also remove their tops. the media sexualises and sensationalises bteasts and hives them silly names like jugs or melons.i will try to resist fapping this week. hopefully i may regain my streak and even get a few dates. the model kelly is simply enjoying her holiday and the sun and water - nothing wrong with it.

 

Yes i have been reading internet forums and topless sunbathing is not a huge crime or anything unusual. Nudity is not necessarily sexual. Often the women who sunbathe topless are looking for an all over tan. Also a bikini top in the heat can be sticky. A womans breasts is basically an udder - so why should we fetish it. Maybe i will go to brighton beach next year which has a nudist part also - to rewire my brain away from porn

 

Realising that many newspapers such as the daily mail sensationalise celebs on beaches, the description is basically porn. Just because a women is in a bikini, doesnt mean it is sexual or she wants attention/sex. It is the media which has conditioned us to oogle breasts/bums. Nxt summer i may visit a few beaches to rewire myself and see thd girls as real people.

 

Hi there, yes I have realised the p has ruined me. I once had a streak of 30 days. I'm trying to get it back.

"I was so overwhelmed by the pictures that it gave me an amazing boost to continue fighting and struggling so I can live a life full of love, happiness, fun, intimacy, and absolute tranquility and peace. Porn truly kills all these amazing feelings and emotions in our lives and we just need to take control.I was so overwhelmed by the pictures that it gave me an amazing boost to continue fighting and struggling so I can live a life full of love, happiness, fun, intimacy, and absolute tranquility and peace. Porn truly kills all these amazing feelings and emotions in our lives and we just need to take control."

 

Looking forward to quitting the p for good. I look forward to when I can get a nice (hot and pretty) gf and make love to her - much better than prossies or PMO. Going to readt the autobiography by model kelly brook

 

think of waht i could do with £10K!

 

Friday evening. I could relapse, but choose not to.
Realised that even mums wear bikinis, but they are not sexual. Fapping will merely ruin my streak.

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/2lnvz6/karezza_for_the_first_time_please_stay_away_if/

a very god website

 

sadly i relapsed sunday afternoon at home. I will rest my counter.
Yesterday I spoke to a personal trainer (female) in the gym. She was quite friendly to me. I asked her about topless bathing and she said she personally would not do it. however she doesn't mind if others do.

I need to stop the p-subs. They are just as harmful as the other nude/hardcore sites.
I realise how websites use exaggurated language like "VERY racy bum" to sexualise womens bodies.
After 10 years I now realise porn is the opposite of intimacy....
I'm going to try and stick to the 3 second rule when seeing women and not to relapse until the new year....(or edge)

 

new pmo tracker...

 

Realising how porn has ruined things:

Eyesight
Frequent urination due to edging
Looking at girls and seeing their body first,rather than what they are doing....
Oogling sunbathing girls.....creepily
10k on prossies
Silly comments like asking a girl her breast size....