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Realisation about my sexual function and porn habits

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Upwards2020, Mar 3, 2021.

  1. Upwards2020

    Upwards2020 Fapstronaut

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    For a while I've been on and off watching trans and it's a mixed bag .....

    So here's the thing

    I always knew I watched it.bevause of escalation

    But guess I'm retarded

    Most of the time im turned on initially probably because it's porn and my perception sees a women playing with a cock

    But I always lose my hard on watching them but you think it's because of escalation and try and continue anyway .....

    Again i thought it was all because of escalation which I now believe it definitely is ..... I stopped watching porn for 5 days and I ended up relapsing initially started watching cam girls got turned on then flipped to trans cams initially turned on but kept losing my hard on .

    Went to hamsterx saw a dude nailing a trans lost my hard on completely but finished to the image of her face giving a blowjob .......

    I just watch porn far too fucking much.

    The issue is I lose my hard on watching porn because it's pretty boring ...... but there are so many signs signalling in ts porn and I always go soft ..... basically I've been in an escalated state fapping with a semi watching ts porn .... when all 8 need to do is take long enough breaks and stop and get fully hard on watching women how fucked up .

    Least I know were I'm at with NoFap and I need to pack it in for good
     
  2. warrior2k20

    warrior2k20 Fapstronaut

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    So you're trying to deescalate yourself from the harder categories into a more vanilla category in hopes of reversing the situation?
     
  3. Upwards2020

    Upwards2020 Fapstronaut

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    Sort of .. but not really ... it will deescalate itself without watching vanilla .. I think by not watching any porn for 5 days I was beginning to resensitize to normal ...like thoughts I have naturally. Watching porn after 5 days and being able to enjoy vanilla more again and my actual arousal pattern and sexual function taught me

    I'm 1 ... desensitized watch too frequently and my arousal pattern never fully allowed to recover.

    2 escalated to find new stimulation even if it carries with it disgust guilt etc

    But that I'm never actually full hard watching it and a lot if the time lose it.

    Definitely addiction and compulsion

    By stopping for 5 days im able to watch vanilla and am much more sensitized to the point it's normal again and that trying to watch the other I just lose my hard on.... I'm triggered by the supposed female but genuinely lose my hard on because of the rest......

    I think it's all escalation and by just stopping watching especially since you've gone too far ... you quickly revert back to normal.....

    The issue lies with porn and potentially a lack of sexual activity

    Put it this way ....

    Porn is never a substitute for the real thing

    You will never be as hard than when your fully sensitized and doing the real thing ....

    Porn especially compulsive porn use not only desensitizes you to what you see it desensitizes you because it is limited .... watching pixels especially compulsively begins to have diminishing returns

    Your watching more beginning to need more stimulating and your also getting diminishing returns because it's only pixels...and your also compulsively overspending sexual energy by watching porn

    The fact your down the rabbit hole watching ts porn with a semi some arousal but a plethora of disgust

    Is basically an over stimulated but desensitized brain

    Basically when you stop watching porn it all normalises itself in the ways you start thinking sexually around your own natural way of thinking .... coincidentally is when your sexual function and hard on quality is at its best because it's not drained or trained by pixels

    They say porn addicts can have sexual dysfunction or pied that's because they don't stop watching porn long enough for those natural body and mind functions to recoup and strengthen .... there watching all sorts if genres to provoke synthetic arousal even if there's a lot of disgust

    What I learned from taking a break is that the disgust shuts down my arousal and healthy sexual lasting arousal is with females... not ts porn
    But at the end of the day it's still porn and for best results shouldn't be used compulsively or too frequently .. as said before porn gets boring especially the more frequent ...

    Try not watching porn for a month then watching a really hot female then ts guarantee you be naturally turned on by the female and initially the ts but lose your hard on

    Why they call it the chaser with ts your chasing the same stimulation except I was never fully hard watching it and constantly lost my hard. So I was chasing .... fucked up sorry for the ramble

    Basically save yourself stop watching it

    I guess there's something wrong with me that I have to keep watching so much porn
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2021
  4. Upwards2020

    Upwards2020 Fapstronaut

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    So yea pretty much and it works
     
    warrior2k20 likes this.
  5. warrior2k20

    warrior2k20 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah it worked for me too. I've been without porn for quite awhile now too!
     

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