Really Trying

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by bebetter1312, Apr 18, 2019.

  1. bebetter1312

    bebetter1312 Fapstronaut

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    Hi, this is my first time on this forum. Ive realized i had an addiction to pornography for the last year. Porn has gotten in the way of my life in so many ways. It has made me depressed, made me anxious, its made me question the type of person i am, and its taken me to some very dark places. I honestly think ive been addicted for years. I was exposed to it at an early age like 10 years old or something like that. Never thought it was an issue for me until i got to college. I started watching it more and more. The genre of the porn i was watching became more depraved. I realized i spent hours and hours on porn sites just browsing without even master-bating because i was bored or the type of porn i was watching wasnt enough to get me off.

    I know i cant keep doing this. I need to change. Ive been all over the internet because of this addiction, places i never imagined i could even go. Im not this person, its like im a different person when i go online when compared to who i am in real life. I would never in a million years want to do things in real life that i fapped to over the internet. I realized i had a problem a year ago. I tried so many different ways to stop watching porn. I got a therapist, i went on meds for anxiety, kept track of how many days i could stay clean. But in the end i always folded, its like i know i need to stop but in that moment i just dont care its like im being controlled by someone else. I talked to my therapist and am working very closely with them. I was always half assing this, never fully serious about getting rid of porn. I always thought it has been apart of my life for so long idk how to be without it. But im tired of it always shadowing over me, tired of it making me feel like shit and fucking up anything good i feel i have going for myself. I know this is going to be a hard journey. Years of addiction dont go away overnight, but im really trying now, and i just pray that i can become free of this soon.
     
    blueloser likes this.
  2. Raging Bull

    Raging Bull Fapstronaut

    this is a great website man. great community here. it's so much purer and realer and better than the dark stuff we're addicted to on the internet. this website shows the potential goodness that the internet has. we all want to leave this dark addiction man. If you want to ever talk about stuff feel free to personally message me. but keep going and fighting your urges man. we can do it. one day at a time.
     
    bebetter1312 likes this.
  3. LEEMANN

    LEEMANN Fapstronaut

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    I was on the same boat my friend about 10 or 9 days ago,the longest streak iv'e gotten was 3 months,while I was doing these nofap challenge,I was counting the days till this nofap thing would change my life,it did in some ways like less anxiety when talking with people,confident,good sleep and motivated but the wrong thing about it ,I didn't do anything in these three months while on nofap,I didn't change my habits and I ignored these urges of porn which is a very bad thing to do and these lead me to my downfall.
    So my advice when you have urges,use these urges to do something productive or something you really enjoy like for example, a thought of a hot girl or guy,use that thought and say to yourself I will not give in to these addiction,it's not my master and I will do some work than fap,I will have a nice walk in the park than fap,I will read a nice book than fap,I will talk to my friends than fap,I will,I will get my life where I want it to be,take this in you mindset and you will succeed.

    Good luck friend and welcome to the nofap community,hope these helps.
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2019
    bebetter1312 likes this.
  4. bebetter1312

    bebetter1312 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you both for the reply, just knowing there are other people out there who are trying to get through this helps.
     
  5. blueloser

    blueloser New Fapstronaut

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    Hey I'm new to this myself,

    I've not been watching porn for over a couple months now and I just quit cold turkey. Porn actually started to bore me because I didn't feel I was involved and I craved something more physical. I used to have a lot of sex in the past which wasn't good for me although it felt like it was at the time.

    I think it's really good that you're recognising how its making you feel and wanting to do something about it. The things you're feeling are so relatable man.

    We got this!
     
    bebetter1312 likes this.

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