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Reasons to not use escorts and the like in an attempt to rewire.

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Barrenderoborracho, Mar 26, 2024.

  1. Barrenderoborracho

    Barrenderoborracho New Fapstronaut

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    Can anyone explain the logic that's against the use of escort services or anything similar for that matter with the intention to rewire? Please be as detailed and as specific as possible. I also would like to hear more than one person's perspective. Thanks in advance.
     
    im_done likes this.
  2. Overforme

    Overforme Fapstronaut

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    It's a p sub, that's why. And it's also still considered objectification of women. Since it's not a real bond of love between two adults in love, you're messing with your pathways in the same way you would by doing pmo. It's simple. Your goal to heal is to stay away from all xxx rated material if you want to heal that is
     
    wastewater likes this.
  3. kenshin81

    kenshin81 Fapstronaut

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    I don't believe that escorts (real girls) can be compared to p-sub or porn, otherwise if you find a girl at gym or disco you should not go to bed with her (if there's that condition) because "it's not your girlfriend". And I can't even think that sex without love leads to PIED (otherwise half of the men on Earth would suffer from PIED). Difference with p sub/porn is that those are overstimulated situations that gets abused with daily compulsive MO. But a real girl, even if escort, is different. She's real, you can feel her, you can touch her... a wholly different experience, and if you go to escorts, you won't go to them on a daily basis.
     
    im_done likes this.
  4. Itsuki

    Itsuki Fapstronaut

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    What is better, a world with only porn or a world with only prostitutes? I kind of think if you already have one vice on your belt why do yourself the trouble of setting out to acquire another one? But if you really hate porn and need some sort of outlet, what else can you do? Going to an escort is better than denaturing some random girl at the club.
     
    im_done and wastewater like this.
  5. KevinesKay

    KevinesKay Fapstronaut

    Using a prostitute is not a better option than porn. It's a form of escalation of the addiction. Porn, MB, lust, fantasy are the building blocks of sexual addiction. From there, sexual acting out becomes the reality.
    It doesn't matter if one uses escorts, street prostitutes, or massage parlors. The prostitute is the same. She's waiving her sexual choice in exchange for money.

    It makes sense that our porn use can escalate to sexual acting out. Voyeurism, affairs, exhibitionism, using prostitutes, hooking up all produce an increased dopamine effect when resistance to the building block behaviors increases. We need to do more to get the same high. And it is addictive. Being addicted to using prostitutes is a very real thing taking it to a new destructive level. Increased risk of STIs, financial problems, a new level of betrayal that a partner has to deal with. Portraying that using a prostitute as a healthy alternative to porn is a destructive rationalization. No one should buy into that lie. One is not going to feel better after using a prostitute. The guilt is real. The shame that I felt that I needed to pay someone to get sex was unbearable. It reinforced this feeling inside me that I was unattractive and undesirable. How was I ever going to find real love and real sex while pursuing counterfeits? And I could try to pretend that the hooker was really into me, but that facade can only last so long when she acts distant towards me, rushes through the act, makes rules, and I can clearly see that she's not enjoying this. I don't want to see that part. But it's evident that she feels disgusted and repulsed by what she's doing.

    Do we really think that we're not contributing to the prostitute's trauma? Rachel Moran, the author of Paid For, makes a compelling argument that prostitution is simply paid sexual abuse. The prostitute is enduring the same trauma as one who's endured sexual assault. It's paid rape. That was her experience when she worked as a street prostitute, an escort, and a brothel worker for 7 years. And all of her colleagues felt the same way. They just learned to act differently when it came time to turn a trick.
    My friend, Dana, used to work as a prostitute. She's shares her story here. Prostitution is not glamorous.
    https://talkingsober.com/t/prostitution-is-not-glamorous/84496?u=kevineskay
     
    pw775, Mushinja and born3 like this.
  6. kenshin81

    kenshin81 Fapstronaut

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    You switched the theme to the "moral" thing, but this is not into this equation. Street prostitutes and escorts are different type of girls, the former are most of the times forced to do that, the latter are girls that decide to do that on their own will, and most of the times they have higher amount of moneys than "you" (the client), they use the money to live a "high benefit life". They "fake" affections because they're paid? Absolutely! But if I go to escorts, I already know that. I'm not searching for girlfriend or for some girl that appreciate me. It's known from the beginning and this is how it works. Generally, you go to escorts because you can't find a girl, you already got ghosted one or more times and you're already convinced that you'll never find the proper girl, so what? The "addiction" you're referring to, is "sex addiction". MB, lust, fantasy etc... you build the same also if you've a girlfriend. The only thing you should stay away is the "addiction to escorts" (which could happens, and means also loose lots of money), but I hope everyone here is able to keep under level. I'm not speaking to go to escorts every single day... but once in a while, if you're single and you've too much libido (which is the actual case).
     
    im_done likes this.
  7. born3

    born3 Fapstronaut

    This
     
    KevinesKay likes this.
  8. Learner09

    Learner09 Fapstronaut

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    You are still wasting time ...Give time to your girl and it will strengthen the bond between you and her ...giving time to prostitute and you have successfully wasted another hour from your life .
    Apart from this don't compare porn with prostitution. Prostitutes are real women and different in every aspect.
     
  9. im_done

    im_done Fapstronaut

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    I’ve said this time and time again.
    For some, this could very well lead to further issues but I never had an escalation issue with buying sex.
    Adult autonomous individuals that know their inherent appeal can net them cash are justifying a means to an end, and their clients engage them in a similar manner (at least they should).
    My issues with porn deal (and I would say a fair number of others) with void of novel experiences (fantasy, etc.) and overall access (i.e. dry dick).
    Porn is a simulated, unreciprocated act in which the viewer (particularly male viewers) fail to achieve their prime biological directive. You’re in the dark, looking at a screen, looking at women you will never procreate with (not saying you should in an ideal sense, because they warp the viewers idea of healthy sexual selection).
    Buying box/poon/sex is a transaction in which the client and the provider benefits.
    “Disease, objectification, legal, financial issues!” I see often. All legitimate reasons. This is what I do;
    1. Go somewhere legitimate and clean. (Look at laws, regulations, and pricing)
    2. If you’re thinking about some PSA you saw, go to a legitimate location and remember that they are adults making adult decisions. You’re as much as an object because of your money.
    3. If you’re bad with money or you fear your own desire then you might as well be a monk. I’m here to find another outlet (and I have many; I’m a BJJ white belt, cloud studying, lifting three days a week, workhorse. I got no time to nut) I refuse to skimp on something that could very well lead to issues that others bring up when discussing this.

    All in all, my trip to Amsterdam will be worth it.
     
  10. AbelHimself

    AbelHimself Fapstronaut

    I wouldn't recommend it because it has the potential to become a substitute addiction, it would be like trying to quit smoking with cocaine.
     
    pw775 and Itsuki like this.

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