Reasons why I’m afraid to start dating

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by superstorm250, Jan 27, 2020.

  1. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

    I decided to make this thread because I feel like it will help me if I share why I don’t date and am afraid to start dating in the first place. So I’m 26 and I’ve been addicted to PMO since I was 12, I’ve also never dated anyone and that meant that my PMO consumption was even higher as it was my only sexual outlet. One of the main reasons why I’m afraid to try and start dating is due to my inexperience because I feel like it’s now too late to start dating since I feel like not too many girls are going to be interested in dating someone with no experience as most of the girls in my age group will have more experience than me, I just think its gonna be a turn off to most people. But I have had sex though, it was over 4 years ago and it was with a girl that I just hooked up with, that’s the only time I’ve had sex or kissed anyone.

    The other reason why is because of the frequent PMO consumption since I was 12, I have PIED and I don’t want to date until I suspect that it should cured. I also feel like I’m in need of a serious reboot before I would try and date because I’ve discovered that I’m way more turned on by watching other people having sex than I am by having sex myself. I’m just so used to experiencing arousal and reaching orgasm by being in third person that I really struggle with achieving that in first person. This has led me to fear that a cuck relationship would be the only one that I can have since I can only get off by watching and also created a persisting fantasy where me and my (imaginary) girlfriend meet up with another guy at a hotel where the rooms have a separate living room with bedroom and I’m only allowed to listen from the living room for their first sex session, then after that they both come out completely naked and in their afterglow and bring me back into the bedroom where I take a seat next to the bed and watch them fuck while I masturbate.

    I need help, how do I stop this and get myself in a better place in order to start dating?? Any advice is greatly appreciated!
    Admonius likes this.
  2. depeche69

    depeche69 Fapstronaut


    thank you for your post. You are the first one, who subscribes a problem that i also have.
    Masturbation ist getting me harder and more pleasure than real sex.

    I also working on it and hope that over time i get the completely reboot. If i have sex, then only with prostitutes and then i need also a fantasy to get hard.

    My advice: Stay on the Path of semen retention.

    If you manage to get a date, then use it. Don't tell the girl about your unexperience.
    And if the date is going to direction of sex. Just tell that you believe in old values and for you it is important to know the person better. Tell her, that you want to wait at least 3 months.

    I hope i could help you.
  3. don'tlookbackinanger

    don'tlookbackinanger Fapstronaut

    commit to 90 day hardmode
    it's not easy, i'm doing it myself so i know but i start seeing results as quick as day 4, not even kidding
    you know what you need to know, give it the commitment
  4. achilles996

    achilles996 Fapstronaut

    Reboot for sure.

    As for sex in a relationship, most women don't care about performance all that much as long as the guy seems "in to it." If you can't hold your erection, just go down on her and she'll be thrilled. Making a woman cum with your finger also isn't that hard, and she won't think twice about it. Of course, that isn't as good for you, but it will give you options to mix things up if things in the dick department aren't going as planned. Experience, in other words, should be the least of your concern. Humans evolved (or were designed--whatever you believe) to have sex. It comes naturally to us. Of course, porn and masturbation can inhibit our naturally ability to have sex by conditioning our brain to respond to a different set of stimuli. But this is a problem with porn dependency, and not lack of experience.

    Try dating around. Try not having sex with a woman on the first date. You will both be more comfortable that way. Try not being too drunk/high/whatever. As much as you can, try to stay out of your head and just be responsive to your sexual partner.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. SpoonDog

    SpoonDog Fapstronaut

    You definitely don't need to worry about this. I was 31 when I started. I suspect most of the women you meet are going to feel as awkward as you do in a dating situation. Real women (or at least those I've met) are a million miles from those super-confident, highly experienced women we see in porn videos.
  6. WubsMcGee

    WubsMcGee New Fapstronaut

    You gotta remember man nothing in porn is genuine or real. Its one of the reasons I'm trying to give it up. Everyone here wants to get over their problems and experience real genuine relationships with real genuine women. There are many women out there that may feel the same way you do. You just gotta put yourself out there and get a feel for things.

    I myself just started NoFap. Had a relapse yesterday after 16 days of no PMO. I don't think that's too bad for my 1st real try at it. It set me back but I'm gonna get back on the horse and try again.

    A good way you can meet quality women is through friendships you already have. Your guy friends might bring their girlfriends and THEY might bring theirs friends as well. Boom.

    Cold approaching women that you've never met before can be super awkward for both of you and can be especially terrifying for the guy. It is for me at least.

    And if you don't have a lot of good quality friends go out to places that you like to frequent and try to get in with a group of people. Chit chat with them and become part of their circle. The whole meeting women through social circles that I mention earlier could happen and on top of that you can develop genuine close friendships with people you already have a lot in common with.

    Humans are social animals so go out and be social. Don't get stuck in your head so much. Just be yourself and you'll be fine.

    Stay strong my man. You got this!
    TheJetDude44 likes this.
  7. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

    Being rejected or ignored after putting yourself out there brings huge depression. Hard to start over looking for love with a smile after that happens a number of times. You feel a mix of absolute rage and sadness.

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