Reboot for 25 y/o male with addiction since childhood

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by freejojo, Aug 10, 2019.

  1. freejojo

    freejojo Fapstronaut

    Hello Everyone! I hope everyone is having a nice day. I look forward to interacting with all of you and working together towards our common goals. :)

    I'm currently working as a freelance filmmaker. I started out with porn around the age of 16 - 17 . Of course initially it started with fairly simple kind of porn once or twice in a few weeks. Now I'm 25 and I can watch from once a (work)day/weekday upto 3 times a (holi)day/weekend. The kind of porn has also changed to way more violent and aggressive. I started with the Hard Mode of rebooting on 1st August 2019 and have been doing fairly well so far. I have decided to go with one month at a time for 3 months instead of an overwhelming 3 months alltogether.

    I spend a lot of time finding the right kind of porn and with multiple tabs open every single time. Also, (i'm not sure if this is common??) after masturbating I tend to watch 10 to 20 mins of any movie/series. I have gotten into the habit of doing this and feel a very strong urge to do this and cannot skip it. And then there is the brain fog which takes some time to settle and my brain to reach a clear state of mind, where I can be productive again towards my other work. All in all, all of this takes up a major chunk of my time. In hindsight, over the years I might have spent thousands of hours into this terrible habit.

    Also, there is the technique of masturbating. Most (80%) of the time I do not masturbate with my hand (the regular way most people do). Since childhood I have discovered this other way of masturbating. I keep my laptop in front of me, lay down with my stomach towards the ground and stimulate my penis by pressing/moving it against the bed. For quite some time, I have noticed I'm not as hard as I should be (like just 60% hard). I'm not sure if it's ED because I'm mostly fine when I masturbate using my hand and during intercourse (with certain exceptions sometimes). I think I might have Premature Ejaculation though. I mostly last an average of one to two minutes.

    I tried quitting porn a lot of times. A lot of times I would delete my stash of downloaded porn in an attempt to quit this terrible habit, only to get right back at it each time. Then I started showing a homeopathy doctor regarding all these issues. I consulted that sexologist for one year without any decent result. Then I read some self-help and used the cue-habit-reward technique from a summary of the book 'The Power of Habit'. With this technique and a few other tricks I was able to abstain starting from a few days to a couple of weeks. But I fell into the ditch again when I was hit by some anxiety inducing issues in my professional life. That high pressure period continued for some months. And now that it has ended, I have decided to use the NoFap method of rebooting (which I discovered during my self-help reads).

    Another problem is that I feel the urge to masturbate everytime I'm anxious or panicky, which is quite frequent. It has become my way of escape from sadness, which is also quite frequent. I also frequently do it when I have even a little bit of spare time and also right before sleep.

    I'm in relationship with a beautiful soul since over one year. And recently I decided to tell my girlfriend about this terrible secret. She has been very supportive so far.

    If you can relate to any of this, please do let me know. If you can't I'd still like to interact with you. I look forward to your response :)
    Jake n Bake and Deleted Account like this.
  2. Thedoctor guy

    Thedoctor guy Fapstronaut

    Be happy , it is addiction toward straight sex :emoji_cry::emoji_cry:
    Deleted Account and freejojo like this.
  3. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button |Day Counter | Rebooting Resources|Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!

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