In february, this year, I decided and managed for the first time in 17 years to quit porn and masturbation for almost 100 days. It was hard but I had good results in my professional life. In my intimate life, however, had a big problem, because though after first 30-45 days my orgasms became strong and the sexual act more intense, soon after I experienced premature ejaculation problems. It was enough to be touched in the intimate area and I was soon finished. Practicaly a sexual intercourse would not last more than a minute. I kinda solved my problem by starting after more than 90 days with no PM, to masturbate before sex... but this went to: 1. Relapsing in both, porn and masturbation; 2. Destroing myself. I've quit the gym, have began to spend more and more time watching porn and, of course... masturbating, having huge memory problems; 3. Not really solve the premature ejaculation, but only add some more minutes. And the intensity of sex and orgasm is so low...; 4. Depression. I am disgusted with myself, personal and professional. Now I have decided to stop (once again) with PM (have only 3 days till now), I have just started to go to gym and I will try meditation. It is not my first attemt to try meditation but I never succeded to keep my mind free of thoughts. I don't know if this is a journal or a call for help. I aim for the second.