Rebooting, Lifestyle Changes, and Starting Over

My Story
Where to begin... I'm a 22 year old male university student studying Computer Science in the Midwest United States. I've been using porn most likely since the 6th grade, although I can't quite remember exactly at what age I started. Since then, I've gotten to the point where I use it almost daily, and have come to the realization that I am addicted.

I honestly didn't realize the impact porn was having on my life until my last relationship ended. I'd dated several girls before this last one, but my relationships had mostly been started because mutual friends set us up, so I'd never actually been too emotionally involved with anyone. Having a relationship with someone develop organically was the first time that I realized that I had a problem, as I found myself actually feeling bad about my use of porn for once. While she ended the relationship before we became too incredibly serious (law school prep was taking up the majority of her time/focus), I almost immediately turned back to my usual heavy use of porn.

I don't quite know what caused me to come to have the moment of clarity that I have regarding my addiction, but I think there were several causes. I've been struggling with depression and low feelings of self-worth for quite awhile now, even when I was in relationships. I just thought it was part of who I was, but having researched this whole porn addiction thing a bit and learning that those were potentially I part of it, I started looking a bit deeper. I also came to the realization that I struggled with some of the more physical parts of porn addiction as well. While there wasn't one single thing that made me realize that I needed to make some changes, they all just kinda piled up after the breakup and all came to a head.

My reboot isn't the only lifestyle change I'm making, however. I've been trying to eat healthier/work out more often since the breakup, and I intend to continue my efforts there (while also focusing even more on my healthier lifestyle). I guess my main reason for coming here and making an account/posting is that I simply don't think I can do this alone. I need some amount of support, and since I don't think I'll be able to find any of that offline, I've settled on online support instead. I've tried to get off porn before with little to no success, so I figured it was time to try harder.

Speaking of my reeboot, I'm planning on doing the standard 90 day reboot. I don't currently have a SO, which means its going to be involuntary hard-mode, but meh.

About Me
Like I said up above, I'm a 22 year old Computer Science student. I've got on year left before I finish my degree... so that's a thing! I'm also a musician (I play trombone) and a bit of a nerd. If its a tabletop, card, or miniatures game, you can bet I'm interested. I'm also into amateur astronomy and astrophotography, although I currently don't have any equipment for either. That's a loooong term hobby.

I'm also currently on a bit of a journey when it comes to my overall health. I weigh 266lbs and am 5'10" tall. While I don't look very fat per se (my beard hides the bit of a double chin nicely), I'm certainly am FAR from healthy. Combine that with a relatively poor diet and a lack of physical activity and you've got someone who generally feels like garbage. So I've begun to eat healthier and exercise, and while I'm a total noob when it comes to that stuff I'm always looking for others with more experience that I can learn from! I'm actually down 10lbs from when I first began to work out, so that's exciting!

If you ever have any questions for me please do not hesitate to ask. I consider myself a fairly friendly and open person! Here's to a healthier life not only for myself, but for all of us.

 

Thanks for the welcome!

To me, the problems arise when I get bored. Boredom leads to me just idling on the internet, which leads to PMO. This is day one for me (technically day zero), so my ideas here are mainly just theories at this point.

I plan on doing much more reading to get myself away from the computer when I'm not actively using it. I'm currently reading Storm of Steel by Ernst Junger (a fantastic book on WWI), and plan on developing a bit of a reading list which I'm going to post in a journal on here when I get the time to make one. I'm also planning on using my workouts a bit to help me deal with this as well. I've found that on days that I work out I deal with fewer urges.

 

That was a good read! Lots of info to take in, but a good read. Thanks for the link!