Rebuilding

I decided to create this for accountability

Its been about 10 years since I started PMO, its the usual story of gradually escalating porn use and eventually I crossed over into trans and gay porn to get that high as I had desensitized myself to actual girls, another problem during this period was the fact I had no contact or intimacy with girls which didn't help my brain wiring my rewards to porn and due to satisfying myself alone I didn't feel a huge need to chase girls so I am still a virgin as of writing this (24 years old)

This year I decided to start putting myself out there and actually made an effort to improve my dating life, despite some successes and finding out that I'm actually quite charming and girls indeed do find me attractive something always felt off about talking to girls and trying to get them into bed, after around 50 approaches I finally found the answer, all those years of porn had killed my sexual attraction for real girls, I could still enjoy talking and flirting but when it came to being sexual, physically or verbally I was faking it and felt no desire or need whatsoever to have sex with them.

This was confirmed when I dated a girl when I was on holiday, she was very pretty and despite the fact I was attracted to her and enjoyed spending time with her when I managed to get her into bed I couldn't get a boner and didn't feel horny not through nerves as I was very relaxed but from desensitization, looking back from the moment I met her I never actually wanted to have sex with her.

So here I am my goal is to get back the attraction I had for girls in my early teens before porn as well as cure my PIED and hopefully feel more intense emotions as they have been quite dead for the last few years.

Thanks for reading