Recovered from DE?

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by toomanymany, Mar 5, 2019.

  1. toomanymany

    toomanymany Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone!
    Has anyone been recovered from Delayed Ejaculation? I've been suffering from it since I married 6 months ago. I had not had sex before I married. I think it's related to PA. I'm just wondering is there a way to cure it with no PMO? Has anyone achieved to win over this? I simply can't ejaculate during real sex or it takes way too long to ejaculate. I feel like universe is telling me not to breed and it makes me depressed.
    Thanks for your answers.
     
  2. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    Hey 2many,

    Go 90 days without touching yourself and watching porn or porn substitutes.

    Some need longer. I would suggest to quit porn forever.
    If you watched a lot of porn before, abstaining from physical touch will re-sensitize your penis and rewire your brain as well.
    Thinking that you aren't supposed to breed is only something fucking porn will do to you.
    Get rid of it and let your mind and body heal.
    I would suggest being honest to your wife and focus on intimacy while your rebooting, rather then the sex.
    At least for the first 30-60 days.

    All the best, be strong.
     
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  3. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    hi your DE is likely rooted in your PMO. Your body has "learned" to expect certain types of mental and physical stimulation. PIV provides a totally different set of sensations and your body just doesn't know how to process the sensations. Stop PMO and stop any solo MO. Spend intimate time with your wife. Proceed slowly and you will learn to savor the sensations that happen together. They are MUCH better than anything you've EVER experienced with PMO !!
     
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  4. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    hi 'run (and others)

     
  5. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    sorry, there is no link. what I meant to type was "my post on March 13 in this thread is my own experience"

    brain and fingers got out of sync when typing !

    If you want to read further about a journey to healing DE, check out some old posts (2016) by RedEd101 where he shares his experiences.

    one day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
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  6. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Hi 'many !

    Checking on you. Are you doing OK ?

    one day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  7. toomanymany

    toomanymany Fapstronaut

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    Hello!
    First of all thank you all for considerations and kind replies.
    It's my 65th day withouth PMO and it's been almost 7 months since I've married and have only been able to ejaculate for once. That is, I still can't ejaculate normally.
    But I feel better day by day. Last time I had sexual intercourse I almost did it. But when I'm reaching the climax I always think "OMG it's happening this time!" and often distract myself. LOL.
    Also do you think changing sex positions would help? My wife only wants missionary position and says that she feels pain in different ones and doing missionary for half an hour it makes me exhausted.
    I still have porn related fantasies in my mind but I'm more successful in suppressing them.
     
  8. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    If she has pain in other positions, i would work my ass off with foreplay and make her crave you.

    Doggystyle with spread legs is great for both of you if you start really slow.
    Dont go in right away just go in very very slowly and encourage her by telling her how good it feels for you.
    How amazing SHE feels for you in that position. If she is flexible, she can lay on her stomache with her legs spread and you can try that.

    But make sure to spend the most amount of the time in the bed with making her feel good long before you enter her.

    It will relax her mind and she will more likely be more open to try something new.
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2019
  9. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Hi @ReclaimedLife !

    Please consider using the "spoiler alert" function with postings that may include text that could be triggers for some folks. Hit the " + " button on the toolbar and it should take you to the correct tool. (While your post didn't bother me, your above post may not be easy for others to get past !)

    Thanks in advance for your help.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  10. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    Acknowledged and changed. You've got a strong point there.
     
  11. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Thank you !
     
  12. Autopilot1987

    Autopilot1987 Fapstronaut

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    May be my cent will help You.
    Because Exactly same happened with me when i was married 3 months ago. I was not Ejaculating at all. It was frustating for me and my wife as well. Many fights between Us, But I highly suggest you to be patient about it.
    Someone said watch porn after that go in the room. I didnt because I was on P, and i didn't wanted that pathetic thing back in my married life.
    I was making daily intercourse on Pills because of PIED, one day i thought lets leave this fukin shit i cant ejaculate so what is the purpose of doing sex, I left everything Kissing, Touching hugging everything for straight 7 days,
    After that i did intercourse with my wife and pressurized my vein which is in between testicals and Ass hole. When you presssurize it during intercourse you will feel the whole vein towards the dick head. After 1 minute start thinking that you are about to come even though you are not but just think and think your dick head is going to release it.
    And I couldnt believe that i ejaculated within 5 minutes and my wife was surprised that how this miracle happend however that night i couldnt satisfy my wife fully but i learnt alot.
    I did the same next day and then next and then i get use to of this.
    In three months together i ejaculated 5 times and then she had to go to her parents, so i havnt tried it most recent. But this is how i cured my DE.

    So I realized that during masturbation we just do it and it comes off. we are habitual of this. but in real intercourse you have to put some effort, Semen has to come from somewhere and you have to bring it from your veins or testicals i dont know the medical name. Once you learnt it You are good to go.

    Hope this will help.
     
  13. toomanymany

    toomanymany Fapstronaut

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    Day 94, no porn no edge etc. whatsoever; DE still exists. I'm starting to suspect it's a problem related to psychology. I'm really sad. Maybe it takes longer time for me I don't know...
     
  14. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Healing never seems to happen as fast as we might like and sometimes, healing doesn't seem as complete as we'd like. Continuing your noPMO journey will allow your body and your mind more time to heal. Yeah, its frustrating that the healing can take a while, but there is damage to be undone and your body and mind must learn to respond to new types and levels of stimulation. If during PMO, you used a "death grip" or other intense types of physical stimulation, it may take longer than 90 days for your body to perform in a relationship. If you are worried that there may be a physical issue, consult a doctor for appropriate tests (for example, are you potentially diabetic ? Low T ?) You will get better. Stay on course. You can do this.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  15. toomanymany

    toomanymany Fapstronaut

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    Thank you very much for your reply.
    It's been 114 days, I still can't do it but I've realized that I force myself to think about porn related scenes in my mind during sex near climax. And I often distract myself. I feel like I can't ejaculate without thinking about them. Also wanting to relapse is really intense these days. I really want to watch porn, but I won't. Sex is much much enjoyable though. I can feel more than I've ever feel.
     
  16. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    You've found something to sustain yourself for 114 days without PMO. Remember what those things are that have helped you and focus on those. Also, remind yourself at least every day - more often if you are feeling tempted or weak - of your goals, objectives, and reasons why you are here. When you lose sight of your goals, motivation can weaken and resets and relapses can occur, so don't lose sight of your goals and "why's" !

    And You said:
    and THAT is a pretty good reason to continue !

    Keep going. You can do this.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  17. toomanymany

    toomanymany Fapstronaut

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    It's been 133 days without PMO. I'm sure that my DE problem is related to my Porn addiction. I still have porn images in my mind when I'm starting to having sex, they're getting weaker day by day though. Me and my wife hadn't had sex for 10 days and last two previous attempts were really frustrating for me because I couldn't get it up easily. But today I was like a rockstar for 20 minutes no getting soft whatsoever but I still can't ejaculate. But having real sex is getting fun everyday. I used to edge before I marry in order to last longer but now I can see that was really foolish thing to do. So I feel like I edged myself and I feel pain around my penis because my semen couldn't get out. Am I recovering? I have DE because of my porn addiction? By the way, I play many hours of video games everyday, am I desynchronizing my brain? Does it hurt my reboot process?
    Also I used to smoke marijuana everyday but I quit two years ago. But my brain forces me to find a new dealer and smoke nowadays. My brain is doing to me because I'm trying to avoid another addiction, porn?
    I feel like getting stronger, I want to have hope.
    Thanks for reading my journey.
     
  18. DeepSeaDiver

    DeepSeaDiver Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, sorry to hear about this struggle. I am sure you are frustrated. I think this could be a mind over matter, but if your wife feels like she would have pain, you may have conditioned yourself to be unconsciously nervous which can make it hard to reach climax.

    ******warning trigger alert*****

    One thing you could try is intercourse for as long as it feels natural, and then pull out and masturbate (Or have her masturbate you) to the point you are about to climax. Then finish with intercourse. If you have a pattern where it’s been hard to ejaculate, you may just need to break that cycle with something different.
     
  19. Golddis

    Golddis Fapstronaut

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    Dude relax you are getting better day by day. No need to panic the images are fading, probably before the NOFAP streak you didnt feel so good in sex etc? Videogames and Marihuana dont affect you.

    After all youre _ONLY_ 4months in and allmost fully cured. Have patience
     

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