So I've been a cocaine user for the best part of 15 years, constantly on and off using over this period of time, I wasn't someome who could use and then stop whenever I felt like it, I was the one who always wanted to carry on the party until all my money was gone and then be massively depressed after but always go back to doing it again. It wasn't until I entered rehab 20 months ago that I found out the reason behind my using, low self worth, fear of rejection, feeling i was un loveable and unwanted with no sense of purpose in this life, I would have these uncomfortable feelings of anger, sadness, jealousy and self doubt so would suppress these feelings by continuing to use drugs, Its like an insanity, what I've come to realise now is that you will never get stronger mentally and physically unless you fight these (demons) as I like to call them... that little devil inside your head unless you do it absolutely clean from drugs and alcohol. I read a few self help books but ive gotta say there's only one thing that's helped me more than anything and that is going to na meetings and practising the 12 step programme, sometimes I don't put the work in and that's when things really do get dangerous so always need to apply yourself 100%, am I doing this? absolutely not I can always improve and do better but I'm clean and that's what matters. I've now started the NoFap, ive done this before but only lasted 4 weeks... But I've gotta say it does definately have it's upsides, last time I did it for the wrong reasons and that was to get chicks, this time I'm doing it for me and to get stronger in my mind. I'm already noticing changes, the biggest ones are I'm becoming more happy not 100% but definately improving, people can't affect the way I feel about myself as much through there negative actions, and the biggest one yet is the things I wanted before are to starting to change... like being in a relationship and not following my dreams. I am determined now to carry on this NoFap like a fucking monk, Just an introduction from a new Fapstronaut.