Recovery can hurt you.

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Carbon Icon, Dec 3, 2019.

How long have you been on NOFAP and are you Cured?

  1. Under 1 Year . I"m cured

    6 vote(s)
    8.6%
  2. 1-2 years I'm Cured

    3 vote(s)
    4.3%
  3. 2-3 years I'm Cured

    2 vote(s)
    2.9%
  4. 3 + Years . I"m cured

    1 vote(s)
    1.4%
  5. Under 1 Year, I"m still Struggling

    28 vote(s)
    40.0%
  6. 1-2 Years I'm still Struggling

    13 vote(s)
    18.6%
  7. 2-3 Years . I'm still Struggling

    3 vote(s)
    4.3%
  8. 3+ Years I'm still Struggling

    14 vote(s)
    20.0%
  1. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    @Carbon Icon Idk what happened to you bro but you are so whack. I believe in people, and their ability to make choices out of their free will. Overcoming porn addiction is very hard, and the ideas presented on NoFap are only part of the solution.

    If you just keep this negative mindset and blame genetics and the environment for your affliction, you will never recover. Some things may not work for everyone, but if you actually believe you can overcome porn addiction, learn how to, and then correctly execute, anyone can do it.

    I hope you can find that belief and courage in yourself. Don’t discourage or scare others who are finding their path
     
    El CID 10 F60.6 and ANewFocus like this.
  2. "Lead in to despair" and "Kill you" are very far apart.
     
    ANewFocus likes this.
  3. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    Nofap is a tool and if it’s the only tool you try and it’s not working, you need to try other tools. The hopelessness I found in SAA, SA, and SLAA groups is similar to the struggles people have in here. No program is a solution for every person by itself.
     
  4. skibum71

    skibum71 Fapstronaut

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    You are presenting yourself as an expert on addiction.
    What is your experience of addiction?
     
  5. Master Chips

    Master Chips Fapstronaut

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    I found this useful, thanks!
     
  6. Master Chips

    Master Chips Fapstronaut

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    I agree with some of the point of view that a person of a Bad Habit is not as same as an Addicted person. I think an addict has to create a whole integrated lifestyle of a healthy routine + Faith + strategy to deal with this addiction. Speaking about myself, it has felt a lot of times where "I have no free well over this addiction", over a decade of trying and couldn't pass 30 days (four successful attempts), the rest of streaks were less than 10 days. Each time I relapse after these 30 long streaks I consider felt much difficult to get up again, it was like sinking deeper. But eventually after 3 continues years of failing I broke that door and reached 52 days two months ago, and since last couple of months I have been passing the double digits. What has changed was a little extra step which I consider as the fuel of staying vigilant which is "self awareness by reading rebooting material". Referring to 'Rebooting as the best remedy book'; Reading rebooting materials is like a brainwash for the dirty materials that stick in our minds for years. It will take time to get over it, but that is the only way. Once a person passes the big 90 he/she will find it easier to pass it again if they stayed persistent.

    An addiction background whether it's there or not, not all of it is solvable, I think the only way is correcting the mindset for both of Bad habit and Addicted persons that by a whole working plan, regarding the time it may it, it is possible to get over this Addiction.
     
  7. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    It’s so hard to correct the mindset and make PMO unacceptable and off limits.
     
  8. Master Chips

    Master Chips Fapstronaut

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    But it is possible. Our aim is not be perfect, but to give up Porn and Masturbation for a healthy life combined with a positive lifestyle and a moderated sex in a successful relationship.
     
    Fenix Rising and ANewFocus like this.
  9. Dexter Moran

    Dexter Moran Fapstronaut

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    Very wise words Sherlock. I agree 100% that stopping fapping is not a cure for all personal problems.
    However PMO makes all other problems infinitely worse! A holistic approach to life's problems is essential.
     
  10. Dexter Moran

    Dexter Moran Fapstronaut

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    Hi William, I joined OA six years ago. I stayed in it for 1 year. I attended 1 meeting per week. It never did me any good. I remained, and still am, morbidly obese.
    Therefore I share your lack of faith in 12 step programs. However if anyone succeeds on such a program I respect them. In short whatever works keep doing it.
     
  11. Carbon Icon

    Carbon Icon Fapstronaut

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    Going to meetings is one tiny part of the program. If that's all someone does they will not recover.

    Did you work all 12 steps with sponsor?
     
  12. Carbon Icon

    Carbon Icon Fapstronaut

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    I'm no expert, just sharing my opinion based on experience. Feel free to take or leave it. :)
     
  13. Dexter Moran

    Dexter Moran Fapstronaut

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    I did to no avail. I'm not saying it is ineffective. It, a 12 step program, just didn't work for me.
     
  14. Carbon Icon

    Carbon Icon Fapstronaut

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    It's not a negative mindset. I don't blame anything for my addiction, it's just a fact of my life. Genetics and environment definitely play a role, and recognizing and addressing their impact is an important part of recovery. It would be foolish to ignore that.

    I'm not trying to discourage or scare anyone from finding their path. I'm trying to help people who may be in the position I was in several years ago when I joined this site, to find recovery quicker.

    I don't understand why you would find my opinion/experience so upsetting that you have to lead with an insult?
     
  15. Carbon Icon

    Carbon Icon Fapstronaut

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    Do you still engage in the daily spiritual practice? What was your daily routine like when you were working the steps?
     
  16. Dexter Moran

    Dexter Moran Fapstronaut

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    I no longer engage in the daily spiritual practice Carbon. When I did so I tied it in with my now abandoned Christianity. For example I would combine the personal inventory with the Catholic examination of conscience. This I would do daily. I would also link my higher power to the God I was brought up to believe in.
    That belief is now gone and is rendered moot. I don't believe in an all knowing all powerful supreme entity or higher power. I believe in some intelligent design.
    But I refuse and am unable to believe that this creative power is guiding me. The truth is we are alone. There is no one at the controls. I have seen too much evil go unpunished in this world. In addition I have seen good and kind people broken and abused. No God or higher power would tolerate this!
    So as you can see Carbon I am at odds with the first step. This makes the 12 step program impossible for me. If anyone finds benefit from such a course I wish them well. Belief as always is the key. I hope this answers your question.
     
  17. skibum71

    skibum71 Fapstronaut

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    I guessed so. It is apparent from what you say you have a lot to learn about addiction.
    There are a thousand different forms of addiction; a thousand different type of addict; a thousand different situations an addict finds himself in, and a thousand different ways to recovery. So your "one type of addict/one path to recovery' is simply wrong.
    Eg: I have a friend who is a heroin addict. He is from a wealthy family. Despite this he has a 9-5 office job. He smokes heroin every evening. I think he probably takes a few toots throughout the day to keep himself ticking over. He has a fairly normal life and does normal things, he is just high on heroin most of the time.
    I also know heroin addicts who turned to crime to fund their habits, became homeless and died before their 25th birthday with a needle sticking out of their arm.
    I also know addicts who have got clean. Some used 12 steps, some didn't. Some have a good relationship with sobriety, some don't. Some will relapse, some won't.
    I myself am an addict, I am an alcoholic. I am following a non- abstinent recovery, meaning I occasionally drink. So you are wrong (again) about your *one relapse and it all turns to shit* scenario. Non-abstinent recovery is now a recognised strategy for treating addiction.
    You claim that someone who relapses after abstinence will be worse off than someone who didn't abstain. Like everything else you say, this is also bullshit.
    My no 1 gripe about this whole nofap thing is people like you who know very little and come on here spouting crap like they've got it all figured out.
    TL/DR - addiction is incredibly complex, with a multitude of causes/manifestations/treatments. And stop pretending to know things you don't.
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2019
    geheim likes this.
  18. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    I don’t agree with OP but you sound like OP in your defense of the other side of pendulum.
     
  19. Carbon Icon

    Carbon Icon Fapstronaut

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    You're a very angry dude, and I think you reading things into my post that are not there. I think your reaction has more to do with your own struggles than any thing I wrote. Regardless, I can share my opinion. You can do with it as you please. Peace.
     
  20. Carbon Icon

    Carbon Icon Fapstronaut

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    Have you considered that a "higher power" could be something as simple as your own internal, unconscious code? And that when you "pray" you are merely bypassing your ego in order to speak directly to that part of yourself. That it's really about reprogramming yourself. That "god" is internal, not an external man in the clouds. Might be a way to move forward without believing in an external deity that is impossible to understand.
     

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