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Recovery from delayed ejaculation

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Hydepark, Oct 1, 2018.

  1. Hydepark

    Hydepark New Fapstronaut

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    I'm a 33 year old, heterosexual man who has suffered from DE my entire sexual life - since the age of 16. I believe the route of my DE problems stem from psychological issues (I suffer from generalised anxiety disorder, in part caused by childhood sexual abuse) and an unhealthy dependency on internet pornography.

    I'm attracted to women, and have had 25/30 sexual partners in total. During my teens I had a couple of girlfriends, I enjoyed sex with them and could always last for hours, I've never had issues with 'keeping it up' - but was never able to achieve orgasm. I ignored the issue for many years, assuming one day I'd get over it, or put the problem down to never really being in love with my partners. To begin with I would simply stop during sex, but this would often lead to my partners worrying they were the issue, so I found that faking orgasms was the best way to avoid awkward conversations.

    The first time I achieved an orgasm during sex was at the age of 27, with my then GF who I was in love with. The shame of not being able to orgasm with her lead me to finally research DE. I've watched porn every day since my early teens, and believe this to be a key contributing factor in my DE. I gave up porn for about 10 days for her, and hey presto - the sensitivity came back and even though it still took about 60 minutes to climax, it finally happened.

    Since then I've had about 3 more sexual partners and I've achieved an orgasm during sex about 10-15 times in total. Each time takes 60/90 minutes and it usually causes discomfort to my partner. I still consider myself to be addicted to pornography, and my anxiety about not being able to orgasm during sex almost always outweighs the pleasure - and results in me not being able to climax, it's like a vicious cycle.

    I've recently met someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with, we're in love and very open about everything including my DE. Our sex life is excellent, in so far as we have lots of it, and my partner has no problem achieving orgasms. However, the DE is begining to become an issue and I want to overcome it once and for all. I'm seeing a Dr soon to rule out whether the condition is physical, I doubt it is, as I've never had trouble reaching orgasm quickly through porn. I'm also seeing a therapist to finally talk about the abuse I suffered at the hands of a babysitter as a child. I'm not sure how much the trauma caused by that has played an effect - if any.

    But the most important thing for me now is giving up porn and masturbation completely. The longest I've ever gone without porn is 10 days, and it had a real effect. But I always drift back into it. Especially after a sexual encounter where I was unable to orgasm. I'm determined to overcome my addiction, but it's a daunting prospect. I hope that using NoFap will provide me with the support from people going through the same thing as me. If there is anyone out there in the same boat, or has managed to overcome their DE I would love to hear your stories and share my own.

    Thanks
     
  2. Welcome to the community. You're not alone in this.
     
  3. Hydepark

    Hydepark New Fapstronaut

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  4. Philomath

    Philomath Fapstronaut

    Hey Hyde. Do you think your DE issue is being maintained because your porn, for some reason, is being continued? I have DE, and have cut out porn for 2 weeks. I'm waiting a month until I try to have sex with my gf. It's just something I considered. Do you also masturbate or touch yourself?
     

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