Reddit Thread - Divorce

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by BobbyBaccala1987, Dec 28, 2020.

  1. BobbyBaccala1987

    BobbyBaccala1987 Fapstronaut

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    Not sure how to link from Reddit but there was a guy who posted in the divorce subreddit about how his wife is divorcing him and how it was mainly down to his addiction.

    The majority of responses were less than supportive. It was a very interesting read and also very interesting how he was perceived.
     
    blacklabel92 likes this.
  2. sinner76

    sinner76 Fapstronaut

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    just paste the link here.
     
    blacklabel92 likes this.
  3. BobbyBaccala1987

    BobbyBaccala1987 Fapstronaut

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  4. BobbyBaccala1987

    BobbyBaccala1987 Fapstronaut

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    The comments are interesting. Would be interesting to know everyone’s thoughts as normally folk are quite supportive on there but this guy gets some real talk.
     
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2020
  5. Ahiphena

    Ahiphena Fapstronaut

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    As usual, reddit experts are more concerned with making catchy "gotchas" for upvotes rather than offering serious advice, or even showing basic empathy. At worst, he's delusional. There's nothing mean spirited in his post to warrant the amount of vitriol from some of those people.

    However I do agree with the point most of them are making. Its time for him to accept the loss and focus on improving his own life.
     
    BobbyBaccala1987 likes this.
  6. Indurian

    Indurian Fapstronaut

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    Most of the posts make reasonable points. They are primarily responses from females who have been on the receiving end i.e. In a relationship with a porn addict. I feel sorry for the guy, but the posts do shine a light on the hurt that we cause
     
  7. BobbyBaccala1987

    BobbyBaccala1987 Fapstronaut

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    Your definitely right about how those reply’s shine a rather bright light on the hurt and harm we cause.

    I posted on there a few weeks about about my predicament and the responses were not that bad so each situation is unique and different but yes you do realise that our addiction is destructive.
     
  8. He seems to have his head up his own bum. He's decided he's a 'great' father, and seems to dismiss his own wrongdoing, and can't wrap his head around the fact that his wife's done with the relationship. It's kinda like how the majority of people think they're above-average drivers, which can't be the case, and they're not basing it on anything other than unjustifiably high self-esteem.
     
  9. BobbyBaccala1987

    BobbyBaccala1987 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah the issue with that guy is that he doesn’t show any remorse or understanding that fucked up, more so that because his wife knew beforehand she should have had a better understanding.

    My ex knew - that didn’t help matters, especially when trying to kick the habit and failing.
     
  10. RDucky

    RDucky Fapstronaut
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    I haven't read the replies yet, only the OP. As a woman who was married to a sex addict. I have no sympathy for him. None. She gave him 12 years of her life. He still has an addicts brain, believing they had an "otherwise good relationship" except for the small and medium fights they had off and on where he "took a break". Yeah, well, what that means is she told him over and over how his addiction was affecting the marriage and instead of him quitting, she just kept finding him breaking promises. Looks like she's done.
     
    Psalm27:1my light likes this.
  11. FoundTheFreedom

    FoundTheFreedom Fapstronaut

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    Was your ex addicted to porn or was he addicted to sex? It really isn't that easy to quit. I'm not saying that she was wrong. In fact, porn addiction is very hard on any romantic relationship at all. It nearly destroyed my relationship with my partner. She had been telling me for two years that I had an addiction but my reasoning was that since I've never heard of porn addiction, it can't be true. Boy was I wrong! When I started researching more in-depth and checked more boxes than I liked, I knew. I didn't tell her I signed up with NoFap (both this forum as well as the subreddit) and began working on the program, I began by doing it on my own with just nofap as my support. After a few weeks, I have told her what I am doing and how much success I have had. Along the way, I found some other habits that no longer served me. Specifically, I was lying a lot to avoid trouble. I don't like that at all. I'm now totally honest and open with my partner, and she asks about my progress every so often. She has psychological problems just like me but I'm determined to lose the porn addiction. My addiction was over 30 years. My partner and I have been together for 13 years. Had I listened to her, I would have started my nofap journey two years ago. I'm now over 60 days no PMO. I fill her in on my progress either when I hit what I consider a milestone or if she asks me for an update. I hide nothing. I lie about nothing. I feel better that way.
     
  12. BobbyBaccala1987

    BobbyBaccala1987 Fapstronaut

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    Good post

    It really isn’t that easy. I too didn’t know I was addicted until this summer when I saw a new therapist that is porn focused. My ex knew about my habits in 2014 and found out in the worst way possible but I just thought I liked watching porn and just needed to be smarter in how to hide it. That was the problem, normalising it.

    Unfortunately it was too little too late for my wife and we will be divorcing but the one positive I have is that I have this place as well as a better understanding on this mental health issue.
     

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