Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Redemption13, Apr 9, 2020.

  1. Redemption13

    Redemption13 New Fapstronaut

    Hello everyone, I am new to the threads, and I am a recovering addict from the time that I was 11 years old until now (Im 32). This has been a long hard road, and I feel I need to do more, for myself and my partner. Forgive me if I am going about this the wrong way, but I am new here. I feel like the time has come to do a reboot, and I would like to think I've come to the right place. My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 years, and I have struggled with porn through the majority of it. The lying, the hiding, the guilt and the shame have all become familiar. I want to change my life for the better and find some Redemption. Any help or direction of where to begin would be most appreciated. Thank you for whomever reads this lengthy post. Heres to redeeming the real me.
    Bhap and redemption7 like this.
  2. Hey, welcome to the NoFap community : )

    It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!

    Allow me to go ahead and drop some helpful links for you:

    Getting Started Guide / Forum Rules / How to Use the NoFap forums/ Glossary/ NoFap Panic button /
    Set up your day counter /
    Rebooting Resources/
    Accountability groups (new!) /
    About NoFap/ Support NoFap

    Here is just some advice:

    First and foremost please take a careful look at each section in the forum, there may be something(s) you will find to be of big help to you.

    Secondly I advise you to be active on your profile(as there a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then begin posting frequent status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement.

    The forum has got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see.

    People will find your profile and give you support.

    There’s a portion of people who love communicating in the profile section..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive conversations. It would be great to have you join in and become part of the team!

    We support one another in the threads, profile posts, and journals/reboot logs.

    Once you receive some support, please be sure and be grateful to the member for the help/support you received and consider giving some in return to anyone you wish.

    Thirdly, you should highly consider creating a public journal/reboot log (in the appropriate section for you) to write about your days in depth for us members to follow along on your journey and offer support to you on.

    Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!
    Redemption13 and Joe1023 like this.
  3. Joe1023

    Joe1023 Fapstronaut

    Welcome to the forum!!!

    Here is a list of tools and resources to help fight this addiction:

    - Go to weekly SA meetings and find a sponsor there. To find one near you, go to

    - Do an internet search for CSAT office in your area (Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist)

    - In my opinion, this is the most important thing to do, and that is to get accountability for yourself. Find an accountability partner (more than one if you can) if you don't already have one. Many are available here on NoFap. There are also people at SA meetings who are usually willing to help with that as well.

    - Look for help online; There are sexual addiction recovery books, workbooks, self-help books, Youtube videos and MANY other things to help.

    - Start a journal about your recovery. On NoFap, somewhere else online, in a word document offline, or even with pen and paper.

    - Obtain a copy of the book used by the members of SA meetings, which is commonly referred to as “the white book” which can be purchased here.

    - Put safeguards in place to help you stay sober. Think of your weaknesses and eliminate them.

    - Do you take your phone (or any other device) into the bathroom with you and relapse because of it? Then make a rule to never take any electronic device into the bathroom with you, ever. NO EXCEPTIONS.

    - Do you read erotic literature and relapse because of it? Make a rule to never read anything that could ever be found in that section of any bookstore ever.

    - If you struggle with looking at internet porn or any other addictive material on the internet, get an internet filter to block that category type of website as well as any specific site you know you’re vulnerable to and give your girlfriend the password to it, or someone else you trust who knows about this addiction. Obviously, you should not have the password.​

    - And last but not least, bring any troubles, venting, accomplishments (and anything else you want) here to let us know so we can either help any way we can, give advice, or celebrate with you!

    God bless and I wish you the very best of luck, my friend!
    Coffee Candy and Redemption13 like this.
  4. Wolfgirl

    Wolfgirl Fapstronaut

    Congratulations for starting your journey. I believe that one of the biggest parts of overcoming this addiction is to believe that you can. I think that often finding support in real life can be extremely beneficial. Perhaps a trusted friend can set limits on your phone so that you can’t access things, but you would have to allow them to be your accountability partner so that if you get past the restrictions, they can add more. I recommend you look at the various forums to gain tips and inspiration. I personally feel like you should tell your girlfriend, but that is probably partly because I am the SO of an addict who is trying to quit. For my SO, my support has been a key factor in helping him begin his reboot. I think ultimately it’s up to you whether or not you tell her, but it could be a good option to think about.

    Just remember that you have so many people who are experiencing similar challenges and we’re all in it together. I know you can do this. You got this! Good luck!
    Redemption13 likes this.

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