Reducing attraction to other women

Easy. When I see a woman and I like how she looks I think "I like it therefore I shouldn't do it" and then look at the ground.

 

Well, I don't think it that easy as @Infrasapiens, well at least it wasn't for me. Around this time last year, I became aware of my ogling problem and I didn't even realize how bad I was. Thing is to have attention is normal we all have it, it's our natural instinct, but how you act on it is totally different. I've been ogling, objectifying and lusting after women for years and it wasn't easy for me to get control over this problem. I think I am better at it, but I still slip now and then, but I don't lust and objectify. When I see a woman I would've ogled in the past I think of that woman as someone's wife, mother, sister, daughter. I also use "beard test", I got that from the book Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn Obsession, and Shame, the point of the test is when you see a woman that you would ogle take a hand and rub on your chin and cheeks to feel your beard or your unshaved face and that will remind you that you are not a horny teenage boy, that you are man and remind yourself that, I tell myself "I don't want to objectify and sexualize women, I want to have healthy relationship with my wife", but you can come up with whatever you want. I do recommend that book it helped me a lot.

 

@kropo82 posted this a while back that may help you.

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tims-journey.78164/page-6#post-1126070

 

My husband is going through a period in which he has lost sexual desire for me, but he is probably attracted to other women and this is very painful for me My husband has also told me he feels his love for me is ending. He says he has no feeling for nothing. Can it be normal to feel this a few weeks after leaving the PMO?

 

Yes, it is called flatline and durning it you may behave like an angsty teenager again. Do not take him too seriously durning this phase, but do not just brush it off.

 

This is such a big problem. I've had fellow rebooter tell me that it's no big deal, because the issue is with porn, but not with sex. But seeing women in public is such a big trigger for me, and I've always used porn to deal with it.

As far as advice, I don't think it's possible to reason yourself out of it, i.e., "it's bad, so therefore, don't look." It is possible to distract yourself. You can shift your attention to something, anything else. @Infrasapiens suggests looking at the ground, which is good. @Wade W. Wilson's beard test is another example of attention shifting. But visualizations are another. I try to think of something simple and calming, like an abandoned (NOBODY else there) beach or even something minimal, like a white square. While you do this, leave the situation. I mean get up, and go elsewhere.

 

[QUOTE = "Infrasapiens, post: 2107867, miembro: 285492"] Sí, se llama línea plana y durante la misma persona puedes comportarte como un adolescente angustioso nuevamente. No lo tomes demasiado en serio durante esta fase, pero no solo cepíllalo. [/ CITA]
¡Muchas gracias!

 

De nada supongo.

 

I hope that this flat line will end soon. We have been about to separate and the truth has been very painful. we have only been married for a few months and it is sad to think that everything can be finished

 

La verdad no se si hablas español pero depende de la persona y de la situación. Cuando mi ex-novia me dejó, estuve en esa fase por lo menos un año y medio, apenas vengo saliendo.

 

[QUOTE = "Infrasapiens, post: 2107933, miembro: 285492"] La verdad no se ha hablado español, pero depende de la persona y de la situación. Cuando mi ex novia me dejó, está en esa fase por lo menos en un año y medio, apenas vengo saliendo. [/ QUOTE]
Lo siento por mi inglés, realmente es tan malo, thanks for read my post. I'm really sad for our situation

 

Tu inglés está bastante bien, no es que el mio sea el mejor del mundo. Intenta pasar un tiempo solo con el sin distracciones (Trabajo, teléfono, etc), eso ayuda a que recuerde el porque se casó contigo en primer lugar.

 

[QUOTE = "Infrasapiens, post: 2107958, miembro: 285492"] Tu inglés está bastante bien, no es que el mio sea el mejor del mundo. Intenta pasar un tiempo solo con el sin distracciones (Trabajo, teléfono, etc.), que te ayude a recordar el tema.
Thank you. You're right. I'll be try