Reflecting on 150+ Days

Hello y'all.

I have been wicked inactive on these forums for the past few months due to a heavy semester at a new school and establishing connections with classmates.

For those that even remember my last post to this site, I was struggling with a break-up with my first significant other in late June and ruminating on my feelings. My current feelings about the situation have become murky, as I still want to make sure that she is doing well while simultaneously keeping my distance. We have ceased contact and the lack of being around her has left me forgetting the feelings of what it was like to be intimate with her, etc. I honestly don't mind that, though. It's not that I desperately want to erase her out of my life, but it's more that her absence from my life is likely the best for my growth.

I've not pursued any serious relationships with anyone else since, but I am considering the possibility of being intimate or cuddly with friends of mine, two in particular. For those that may not know, I am a queer man (technically, I'd be considered pansexual, but I do not care for that label). I've been more openly expressing affection and attraction for people who are not cis women these past few months with surprising results. One of these potential friends/future cuddle buddies(?) has been in three of my classes this semester and we spend time with one another in between classes talking a good deal. I've shared a lot of personal details with him, to which he has been an excellent sounding board, and I genuinely love and care about him. The other friend is more shy about receiving attention, but we hug a lot and they really like it when I call them pet names in text. I can't say that I'm a dashing bachelor, but I am staying confident and prioritizing maintaining meaningful friendships over getting a lay.

I'd go into more detail about my success, but I have to go to a class real soon. I'll try to update this when I can.

If I happen not to, just know that if you are struggling with sexual or porn addiction, there is a way that you can discipline yourself in order to rid yourself of it. Never do it alone, though. If you need to speak to a therapist or a loved one in order for reassurance, do so. Not only will abstaining from masturbation and pornography give you more time and energy to devote to what you cherish or find fun, but it will rewire your brain in a great way. I believe that before I started legitimately, I was hypersexual and now I enjoy the thoughts and act of sex in a less intense, but more meaningful way.

Cheers!