My journey first began when I was ten years old. My older brother and his friends came over with a CD and they played it on the PC. I had no idea what I was watching -- but it looked like a good time between a man and woman making love in the restroom. I thought to myself how good it would feel to be that person. As time progressed, i watched pornography for different reasons. Stressed, simply bored, mad at my girlfriend at the time, dealing with life's adversity and just about everything... lead to a temptation of watching. There were times when I would be out with a few friends, see someone attractive -- I would approach and get rejected. Then i would think to myself, "I bet I could find someone like her in one of the movies I had seen before." From that moment on, it became an abusive habit. Now -- I would like to change all of this and be reborn again as a greater version of myself without this destructive habit. Within the last two years, I've smoked enough marijuana to give Cheech and Chong a run for their money. Every time that I smoked, the feeling of being high felt so relaxing -- and I craved intercourse. Then of course, like an idiot, I relapsed and watched more-and-more X-rated films. I was even in a relationship at the time and I relied on Marijuana like it was a form of an aphrodisiac -- I would smoke consistently before I had intercourse. It's been about a month now that I stop smoking marijuana; my memories are coming back and I'm feeling more cognizant than before. Now, my only real struggle is to overcome the temptation of watching pornography. Pornography is difficult for me to overcome because the girls I see -- remind me of the ones in my personal life, creating this delusional fantasy -- as if -- I'm making love to them. I hope to receive support from the fellow brothers of this community. It is my last hope to save my dear sex life. I love my girlfriend and I'm ready to abstain from all of these activities to save our future together.