Regaining control through nofap: worth trying

@siddharta_ ,

Welcome to NoFap. I am not a religious person either. I do consider myself spiritual, however.

The best explanation I've heard that explains the difference between Religious and Spiritual is this:

"Religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell. Spirituality is for people who've already been there."

You asked for some advice. I don't give advice, I do, however, share my experience, strength and hope.

For me, the "Getting Started with NoFap" guide has been a great resource. It took me a few times of reading it to see myself in it, but it was worth reading.

Also on this page, https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/new-users-list-of-rebooting-resources.50878/ there is a list of resources I am constantly looking at again.

The "Basic Information Page ... This is the most important page to read" is a great primer. Follow the links at the bottom.

The glossary page that is listed is really helpful as well when people start tossing out terms like, DE, PE, PIED, etc.

And the video that is described as "an epic resource" does a great job of explaining the pmo cycle.

OK, that's information and literature. Now for the strength and hope part.

I can't do 90 day challenges. I know, I know, that's the whole point of NoFap, a 90 day reboot. But it was just to daunting for me.

So, I'm taking it one day at a time. I haven't pmo today and don't plan on pmo tomorrow. That has worked for a few weeks. Sometimes it's one hour at a time. But, I've put together a few 24 hours. I do have to add that I had a bit of a "head start". I've been in a 12 step program for 21 years and I also do that one day at a time.

That was the strength, now for the hope:

Exactly. From the NoFap homepage:

"NoFap® is a comprehensive sexual health platform.
We’re here to help you quit porn, improve your relationships, and reach your sexual health goals. Science-based, secular, and sex-positive."

Speaking for myself, I want to return to a normal and healthy sex life. My hope is that sex life will include sex with real people - no images on a screen - and, masturbation.

Before I started my reboot, I had PIED really bad. Without online porn it was impossible for me to maintain an erection. If I was away from my normal environment, I just didn't orgasm until I got back to where I could pmo in private. Sex with a real person was fun, but I blamed my lack of an erection on ED and didn't mention PIED.

In less than 50 days I've started to have nocturnal erections, morning erections and even the occasional stiffy in my pants during the day. I see this as being a normal male and as proof that stopping pmo is helping to return my brain chemistry to normal.

I don't look at masturbation itself as the problem. The problem was the "perfect" images from porn. Being able to switch to a new pic or vid if the one I was looking at stopped working.

So, I did this:

• Deleted all my bookmarks to porn (which were 99.9% of my bookmarks)
• Deleted all the porn on my computer.
• Killed all my "tube site" and "vid" site accounts (those favorites were too tempting)
• Deleted my social media accounts (some were too difficult to delete, so I changed the password to something impossible to remember)
• Installed Open DNS on my computer

That was the computer, phone and tablet part. Sure, none of that stops me from finding online porn. But, it does something really really important.

It gives me time to think.

When I have just that extra minute to think, that's been what I needed.

Lastly, I cleaned up my "masturbation station". I removed lube, cum rags, sex toys and threw them away. No internet connected devices in my room after bedtime. I'm circumcised and can't masturbate without lube. So, again, time is my friend. I could buy more lube, but it would take time and that's what I need.

I also literally cleaned my room with wipes to symbolically give me a clean start. Might not have been a barrier to masturbation, but it reminds me it's clean now and I don't want to soil it.

Hope that helped. Please keep coming back and let us know how you are doing,

L

 

Welcome! I'm glad you're here. I hope you keep coming back.

 

Welcome !!
How about you set some new routines that you may think will satisfy you instead of the previous behaviors you were doing? For e.g doing sports?

 

Definitely consider the journal. Mine has helped me realize where there's been improvements, and see undesirable patterns that could use a bit more attention.