Regret.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Moatasem, Jun 10, 2021.

  1. Moatasem

    Moatasem Fapstronaut

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    I wasted the first year of high school, I'm naturally good at academics, and I was considered smart, everyone has done relatively good at school because it's easy for them, PMO took my chance away to do good this year, and I was determined to quit yesterday but I relapsed, I feel terribly regretful, I wish I listened to my conscience and didn't masturbate 2 years ago, I'm going to retake the subjects that I will fail, but this time while studying other subjects, I don't get why it's egregiously difficult to quit porn, I don't know what to do anymore, I'm probably going to waste my whole youth. My mom got angry at me today for not finishing my biology and broke a part of my keyboard, I wish I could be who she wishes I am, I wish I could meet her expectations like I did before becoming addicted to porn.
     
  2. skullfull7

    skullfull7 Fapstronaut

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    Look man u messed up why don't you try again, if you don't try I promise you next year you will regret not trying this yet... The thing addiction it will use any reason to make you feel powerless, even it's cruel, look like it found a weakness and it is exploiting it right now, it will always make you live in the past and dream about the future it will never let you in the present, take the front seat and live day by day, shrug it off and try again simply as that, you can fail 999 and win 1 time because there's simply no one that say you can't :) you can fail as much time as you one just make sure you aim to win today.
     
  3. el_bsln

    el_bsln Fapstronaut

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    I'm in a similar situation. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety this year, not from PMO but I used it as *one* form of escapism instead of facing my problems (break-up with my first girlfriend who I had a lot of respect for, death of a relative, overall bad habits, organization and sleep). I managed to get above the class average despite working very little but my ranking is not so good and I'm afraid I won't be able to pursue the studies I want if I don't perform exceptionally well next year. Rn I should be sleeping but I'm having an anxiety crisis. I also have important exams in 1 week for which I'm not really prepared. Wish you luck man and stay strong.
     
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  4. Moatasem

    Moatasem Fapstronaut

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    Well, since you still have time, I suggest you study man, and try not to fap, if you ever feel stressed, breathe, meditate, take a run, try the pomodoro technique, these are all things I avoided while I was studying and I used fapping as an alternative because I was a literal idiot, I have the last exam today and after that I would finish my first year of high school, I'm now studying for it even though I'm amazingly regretful, don't commit the same mistakes like me and use your opportunities man.
    Godspeed to you too <3.
     
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  5. Always Keep Going

    Always Keep Going Fapstronaut

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    I very much find this to be such an urbane, low-going, and sportive perspective that most people in this forum are quick to upbraid because of the assumed nature of having to "bleed for improvement." Day by day, if we were to continually push past and remember where we come from, what we are trying to achieve, and commit some degree of meaning and ardor (for what it's worth), our lives will slowly improve in most of its facets. That's not to say that we won't become too unduly fixated on the past, since we are humans after all, and we like to browbeat ourselves for past mistakes and shortcomings, but we should refocus on the present whenever we come to that point. (Perhaps practicing meditation may facilitate this conscious act of recoursing.)

    Anyhow, it seems as if you've hit your nadir in life, as of now. That's expected. You're a teenager. Adolescence is nothing less than a brief moment of being constantly amiss a torrent of emotion and irrationality. On account of this, I advise you to try to better formulate yourself and ask for guidance when you may. Talk with your mother about what you think is encumbering you from bettering yourself. After all, it is the parent's role to succor their children in the face of the world. Though it may be a little unnerving and discomfiting to tell your parents about this, I can assure you that nothing inherently "bad" will come out of it.

    In the end, however, no matter how much advice I try to promulgate throughout this site - to try to encourage others to reject a rather plaintive overlook on life and foster something much more rich and beautiful in themselves, I am also a teenager. Thus, I can say that life is intractable and unforgiving. There are times when I can't push forwards, but I will never lose my pride in knowing that I will fight my fight and repair my vices to the end of my days. I will keep within me obstinance and will that even the gods cannot divest. This opinion has helped me throughout a good deal of my days, and establishing a purpose in life (though looking between the margins of these beliefs) is always a place to start.

    Save yourself through discipline, and practice some salutary habits along the way (as mentioned, meditate, take some cold showers whenever thoughts arise, go out for a walk (need not run if you're on stinted energy), think about life, and gain some new perspectives on human sexuality). As for the ladder, make it grounded that anything bordering libidinous thought is not for you to think about. The first step to resolving an addiction is, as many say, "forgetting about it." Don't think bad thoughts, and focus on what matters to you. Focus on academics for that matter; find a field that invigorates you (I personally like the humanities department, a good deal of wisdom and candor falls in the markings of history). Be wise - wisdom will help much in maturing. Wisdom may not come from being too extremely captious to yourself, though self-reflection will absolutely help. It may be in your best interest to peruse through texts many adduce in these threads (Your brain on porn, etc.) or even some youtube videos that lend you some perspectives more accessibly (SANQ4 is a great channel, but be careful around the lewd video thumbnails).
     
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  6. skullfull7

    skullfull7 Fapstronaut

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    It's because you will never win if you can't forgive yourself, it is the same rule in religion, you are bound to commit sin but you are obligated to repent and not commit it again.. Porn is not a simply act, it will take planning to quit and will take willpower and resilience and hope, but the planning must be there, if you failed 10 time and you first failed the first time because you believed a voice that told you " let's just take a peak we will not masturbate" now you not when your addictive self suggests that you know it will never end well, 2 if you relapsed bcz u Decided to sleep naked the next time don't sleep naked, 3 if u relapsed bcz u check out a hot girl in the street next time don't check out girls while on recovery, it's called eye gazing in religion, 4 if u relapsed bcz u used ur phone while lying in bed next time use ur phone only when setting in ur living room with people for example, 5 bcz if Instagram good delete Instagram, 6 bcz u watch a TV serie that has mny sex scenes or you watch TV series don't watch TV series, 7 you relapsed bcz u brought your phone to your shower don't bring ur phone into the shower to listen to music while showering 8 bcz a girl sent u a nude didn't look at nudes ever during recovery even its sent by a real person u will doom ur self to failure, 9 u relapsed bcz you fantasized about porn don't do so next time, 10 u relapsed bcz right after a wet dream try to be alert and try lessening wet dream by not thinking of sex and not sleeping in ur right side before bed and not eating food that spike libido and spicy foods and sea food..

    My points this guy is here and has his own triggers developed by his brain after years of pmo and I have my own triggers so you do, he might get triggered when he sit in my computer chair and lights are dimmed (because this guys been doing it 11 years his brain developed a connection), u can't quit pmo without getting to know ur triggers and avoiding them. And you will not quit pmo once u know ur triggers, u still need willpower and a plan, and persistence, these all form to make a good healthy reboot, the mentality of when you fail you get up and learn from it is what made us a lamp. And what wins wars, and what keeps people living, chamos are made in the sparring matches not in the main cards, you only fail when you quit, failure is just another experiment to find out what is not working for a person a chance to grow and expand. Or you can be smarter by predictinf a relapse before it happens, because our enemies are triggers without life is easy, so if you eliminate every trigger you have before you relapse that is being 2 moves ahead of your addiction.
     
  7. Stp890

    Stp890 Fapstronaut

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    This is just the beginning of the horrible effects of PMO,serious effects other than this are on the way.Better leave PMO to save your life,you are still young you have chance to change for good before it's late.
    PMO affects all areas in one's life,it is just a matter of time.
    You just have to stop now!!!!!!
    Stop it now bro!!!!
     
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  8. pmo will definitely ruin your academics. I can recount many tales of young bright blokes like you who lost much of their intelligence, memory, and so much more. Listen to me, carefully, young man. I see you are just 15. 15 is the quintessential age, its of utmost importance. So please hear me out, because I was in your same shoes, i was 15, and starting to fall apart after starting to fap for 1-2 years. I wish I had done everything in my power back then to stop.

    Listen, brother, do everything and anything to quit. And frankly, this practice is only able to be done with such frequency and detrimental effects because it is done in secret, in private. So you must, must, must tell one of your parents, whoever you trust more, that you are struggling with this. Understand quite clearly and definitively, that it is your pmo habit that is causing all these bad things, sapping you of your potential, your brain power, your academic performance. How do I know this?

    Because I myself have experienced it, and have also read so many reports of guys just like you. For example, some people lost the precious gift of eidetic (photographic) memory due to pmo. There are also many reports on reddit of guys having better grades, able to study less and yet perform better academically due to nofap. You see, it effects every area of life so deeply and so profoundly that it is easily the deciding factor between being sluggish and lazy vs energetic and diligent, ugly and wretched vs handsome and vibrant, having wrong instinct and poor timing vs good intuition and quick reflexes, slow mental processing and poor memory vs sharp and amazing memory recall, weak and slow vs strong and athletic, inability to understand material and feeling dull vs strong grasping power and spontaneous, full of social anxiety and inability to withstand pressure vs self assured and poised, tired and sleepy vs driven and ambitious, acne and dull eyes vs glowing skin and eyes, falling and thinning hair vs thick and shiny hair,

    tell your mom that the reason your grades are bad, the reason you aren't able to meet these expectations is because of this unfortunate habit, and ask for her help.

    Make sure your phone is unable to access any avenues to porn and such materials, and have your computer always be out in the open where everyone can see. have it in the dining room or family room, or sit next to one of your parents.

    You don't know how much I wished I would have stopped pmo when i was 15. I would have been totally different, I would have been amazing, as i should have been from the beginning
     
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  9. Always Keep Going

    Always Keep Going Fapstronaut

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    I am at the age of fifteen as of this moment. A few years prior, if I were shown this post, I would have -- as characteristic of the typical, refractory thirteen-year-old male -- relegated the wisdom here as being histrionic and greatly prudent. Through a large degree of pain and realization, it comes to me that this post distinctly separates a life of wisdom and self-restraint, and a life of debauchery and self-indulgence.

    Though I am not much tempered by porn these days, I still frequently have lecherous thoughts which taint my mind and influence my behaviors. At this point, I am far from the typified "normal" individual. I am excessively concerned with my thoughts and far more distrait than what is healthy for the soul (i.e., self-reflection, planning, repurposing); it is because of this extreme expenditure of energy into rectifying myself that I have lost a great degree of my academic ardor and creative competence. I have become, in a way, "insolvent" in effort; excellence lost goes forever. I will never collect the prowess from ground-up if I had become more aware of what I was doing from before. It has gotten to the point where I have thought about seeking psychiatric treatment to at least partially quell this ever-lasting existential madness. Don't be so cavalier as I was @Moatasem - it is best you come clean about this to someone trustworthy since it is evidently affecting you from being your best. You won't regret it in two decades worth of time.

    I really wish more awareness was around concerning the consequence of fostering these types of habits in a private sphere; I did not expect to feel this much remorse for my lost creativity and passion tonight from reading this post. I pity how you were deprived of greatness because of something so foul and pestilential @goodnice 2.0 .
     
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  10. You are very well spoken, especially for your age. I wasn't familiar with the word "distrait" so i looked it up and there are several definitions: distracted, absent minded, and engrossed/absorbed all came up. Apologies for my possible misunderstanding, but were you trying to say that you were becoming too obsessed with self reflection/planning or that you were too complacent and distracted? The reason I am confused is because on the one hand, you said that you wish you "had become more aware of what I was doing from before", which I take to mean you weren't self reflecting, but on the other hand, you say you spent an "extreme expenditure of energy into rectifying myself", indicating that you were spending too much time self reflecting
    I think you meant prudish here, but its all good xD

    But anyways, apart from all the analyzation and semantics, I felt your reply was very heartfelt and that you were moved, which I am pleased with. I am also very happy to have gotten the chance to reach someone so young like you. I had actually made basically a repost of what I wrote above, putting in the title "15 year olds please read".

    Its very good you have come across nofap so young. Again, as you already know, and just to impress upon you further, this is of critical importance. Another thing is that your body brain bones face is all in the midst of a crucial development phase, so it is vital that you be on nofap for the next few years especially, and not squander the resources (semen) that could prove consequential for the rest of your life. Also, look up "mewing" on google yet if you haven't, for proper facial development, and also know that good posture has huge influence on facial development as well. Lastly, some resources for you are r/posture and r/semenretention subreddits. Please message me if you have any questions or would like advice. There is a lot I could help you with, for example how to grow taller advice as well
     
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  11. Always Keep Going

    Always Keep Going Fapstronaut

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    Back before I understood the full effect of PMO (back when I thought of it to be a harmless act to derive some sense of transient pleasure, much relatable to say snacking on a candy bar), my young mind was far too ignorant on what "wisdom" meant. I did not know about the sordid, flip-side of a lifestyle of masturbation and consumption of pornography. Being as I have something ADHD-relative, and the meshes I conjure up in my head are greatly graphic and lurid, at first it the habit was completely unbridled and took up its own space in my character and activities I did throughout the day. It was not until a few months ago that I considered forgoing the whole charade, knowing that I prized intellect and self-worth more than anything else at the time. As I understood how intractable the process of redefining yourself is, the first venue into recidivism became the harbinger to deep, obsessive thinking that had later seeped in academically. I became "distrait" in this way (regarding pure intellectualism), as my new objective in life was to completely subdue all sexual impressions and remove the lascivious part of the human mind; to conquer myself and force myself to attain an equanimity that would stay throughout my life. Though I simper at the irony - knowing how bad it was then, and how worse it is now even when I don't compulsively binge pornography as I did before - I know that I have it worse than a good number of people, for I am a capricious fapper who doesn't need anything more than a conscious mind to gain rapture out of lewd content. It is disgusting, on top of traumatizing.
     
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  12. you are 15, it honestly takes time to develop this ability to become more pure, to conquer and dominate more and more that lascivious part. I'm not near perfect, but it has improved from me being yanked around 99% of the time to me being in control 90% of the time. it has taken 3 years of much pain and effort, but it will happen for you eventually
     
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