Rejected - disappointed - relapsed

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ProphetOfDoom, Sep 2, 2015.

  1. ProphetOfDoom

    ProphetOfDoom Fapstronaut

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    Let's summarize it like this: I was rejected by a girl I truly fell in love with, got disappointed, angry and I went to a state of melancholy. All these things eventually led to a relapse. I had just been on a week without PMO, and prior my latest relapse I was building great momentum. Then I was shoved on the ground when the girl of my dreams denied any opportunity to be together.
    So, I'm saddened by this third consecutive rejection by a girl I felt really close and special.
    Truth is, I can't cope with the struggles of this addiction any more. Although I thought my human will would prevail one day, I don't really see this positive development coming. How can I break the bonds of the PMO world, when I haven't had anything positive to hang on to until the storm goes away? Literally, I've been buried under a pile of family problems and personal issues for months...and this addiction would not contribute any good to my fight.
    I've lost hope, considering the countless relapses as well, that all these endeavors of mine will have been worth it.
    I'd appreciate any feedback and advice...
     
  2. BBX555

    BBX555 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing and sorry to hear about your challenges, especially rejection. That can be difficult sometimes. I think that we have turned to addiction (pro) as a way to deal with difficult situations, pain and disappointments. What we really need is not to stop pro as such (although that is important), but to learn to deal with life in a mature way; taking life in its own terms. Unless we do that there can be no recovery. We also learn to stop being selfish and self-absorved and think of other people and their needs. For example, the girl who has said 'no' has the right to also rose a guy she likes, even if that is not not you. Thinking about her welfare means being pleased with her making a choice that she thinks is best for her. She has not rejected you as such. Rather she has made a decision for her life and future which she thinks is best for her. If you think of her wellbeing and wish her the best, without resentment and self-pity you will be able to handle it without resorting to anger, self-pity, resentment and pmo.

    In brief:
    1. accept that life will be sometimes difficult
    2. take life in life's terms
    3. learn to handle difficult situations in a mature way
    4. think of other people and their wellbeing
    5. avoid resentment, anger and self-pity
     
  3. DannyCool

    DannyCool Fapstronaut

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    Some people are blind and don't know what they are missing.

    What was so special about her anyway?

    You wont be able to reboot with that one around anyway so she was doing you a favour getting out of your space.

    There are other women around begging for you to ask them out but you cant see it cause your so obsessed about this one.

    You don't need her.

    There are plenty more fish in the ocean.

    Lets get this reboot on the way then you can show a girl way nicer than her how its done :)
     
    Golgo 13 and ThatOneGuy56 like this.
  4. BBX555

    BBX555 Fapstronaut

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    I find this a bit one-sided. For sure, we need to support each other in this forum. However, we also need to look at things from her point of view. She has the right to chose the guy she wants to be in a relationship with and that choice should be respected. She is not an evil person just because she did see herself (or future) with someone else. It is the bitterness and the sense of entitlement that often keeps us in addiction. We need to learn to accept that, some people, will not give us what we expect of them and not feel resentful towards them. :cool:
     
    Limeaid, BranNuMe and DannyCool like this.
  5. BBX555

    BBX555 Fapstronaut

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    This quite a macho attitude and the typical porn brain that thinks that women exist to satisfy your sexual lust. Unless this kind of attitude changes there can be no recovery from addiction. The sense of entitlement that thinks that every girl you approach must say yes to you and beg you to fuck her as you see in porn sets is the real problem. It is an illusion that is very far from the truth. What the porn industry does is to portray women as objects of your gratification. They tell you that you are entitled to have any and whoever you want. Well, that's simply fantasy on your small pc or TV screen. Unless you have joined ISIS or some fundamentalist cult where you can treat women anyhow. In the real world women are not really at your disposal. You do sound quite bitter. It seems as if you yourself have experienced rejection in the past and your anger has led you to porn where at least you can see women demeaned and the fantasy world makes you king, where at least the women you can't attain in real life are at your disposal at a click of a button. Feminism is not the people. It's simply a movement that seeks to see women treated with dignity. If fact, a cross the world, most women are still denied basic human rights. For me the real problem is you fundamentalist narrow minded chauvinist view of women. It will be of no help in your attempt do deal with your addiction, nor will it help the guy who has been genuinely hurting and started this post to seek healthy encouragement and help.
     
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2015
    Getter Better and NoBrainer like this.

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