Rejecting someone else... politely

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by THEdally_llama, Feb 24, 2019.

  1. THEdally_llama

    THEdally_llama Fapstronaut

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    I didn't know if this belonged in another section, but I'll post it here anyway.

    To get to the point, I made moves at this girl that I sit next to in class. She was attractive. I had her over a few times and we made sexual advances but never had sex. I actually stopped us from going the full distance. The more I hung out with this girl the less attracted to her I became. I'm not a fan of her personality, and I don't like to hang around her for long periods of time because of our differences in maturity. She wants to have sex with me, but I don't. She's always asking me what I'm doing on this day or that day. How do I politely tell her that I don't want to have any sexual relations with her anymore?

    Has anyone else encountered something similar to this? Should I just be blunt and honest, and tell her that?
     
    ReclaimedLife likes this.
  2. Yes, you should.

    As a woman, and just a human in general, I definitely believe honesty is the best policy in these situations. You can be kind, but prioritize clarity and honesty over kindness, if necessary. It might not feel nice to be rejected, but if you dont tell her, then you're just stringing her along and wasting both of your time and energy on something you know isn't going to last.

    It sucks, but you just need to tell her that you're not interested in continuing the relationship.
     
  3. Yes, just tell her. I had to deal with exactly what you're dealing with, except mine didn't make sexual advances (more like excessive flirting and complimenting me way too much) and mine was definitely not attractive. Girl couldn't take a friggin' hint and was kind of a wackodoodle. So I planned to tell her to just leave me alone the next time she hit on me, but she ended up getting a boyfriend and she did leave me be... somewhat.

    Then she moved away. However, if neither of these things happened, I would've just told her to give up already. It was annoying and she needed to know she was wasting her time. As does yours.

    I would've been nicer than my post suggests, of course.

    EDIT: Ah, and it's better to do it in person, I say.
     
  4. I think honesty is the best policy but you dont have to be brutal. How would you want to be rejected?

    Also the key to any let down is letting them vent and be pissed and have their emotions. Dont get dragged into arguements and dont dominate the discussion. That my advice.
     
  5. Wtf is that profile picture?

    Yeah do what everyone else said. Let them down, but let them down easy. Learning to say no without coming off as a boner is a difficult skill to learn. As the eyeball octopus squid said, be prepared for an emotional backlash. They will try to argue and discuss things, but stand your ground, don't get pulled in by the riptide. Just stay warm during their emotional backlash, never cold, or you might hurt them further (and we all know that hurting people emotionally breeds psychos).
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. It's my one eyed monster...(hold for applause) no really its this....
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    I am also very interested in this topic. I want to know how to do it as well, even if i never need it. It is just a really valuable skill to have.
     
  8. Haha,come on. Chin up. You ll need it a lot.
     
    ReclaimedLife likes this.
  9. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    It wasn't meant like that. I am very straight forward now. I don't believe in meeting more then once or twice if i don't feel like it, and the girl doesn't have some kind of spark to me. So it is less likely for me to get in this situation.

    But we never know what is going to happen in the future. I know i will include way more girls in the future, after i have moved to a big city in a couple of weeks.

    And i now very fast which girls i like. I know what is good for me, and i don't give false hope.
    I'd rather lose a pretty girl by being honest, that i don't want to be in a relationship right now, then tricking her into sex with things i know i won't deliver on.
    Fk that.
    I'd rather have no sex at all.
    I learned to be happy by myself.
    But i still enjoy wamen. They are awesome and it would be just plain stupid not to include them. We get along very niceley : )

    But since i really enjoy being around them, i am not so stupid thinking i am above anyone else. It might still happen that i have to let someone go.
    And i really want to have this skill in my toolbox before it happens : )
     
  10. THEdally_llama

    THEdally_llama Fapstronaut

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    I will throw a wrench into ya'lls answers by letting you know that I sit next to this person everyday in class. Does that change anything?

    She seems like someone I'd have great sex with, but kick to the curb right after because she can be really high maintenance haha. So it's very conflicting. My dick says have sex with her, but my brain is thinking about what happens after. And it's telling me its probably not worth it.
     
  11. Sounds to me like you're just thinking about yourself.

    No, the fact that you sit next to her every day doesn't change the fact that its wrong to string someone along and use them when you know you will have no future together.
     
  12. THEdally_llama

    THEdally_llama Fapstronaut

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    I actually told this girl already that I didn’t want anything serious and I’ve made it clear. She knows and has acknowledged this. So she knows I just want to hook up and she’s okay with it as well.
     
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2019
  13. Okay... well then I don't really understand why you're asking what to do? It sounds like you've already established what you want and been clear, so I'm not susursusure what advice you're looking for.
     
  14. THEdally_llama

    THEdally_llama Fapstronaut

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    Dude to tell you the truth I really do not know either lol. I guess I'm just looking for someone to either tell me to go on a sexual adventure or don't. I should've thought more about this thread before I posted it haha
     
  15. It's up to you, but if you have to ask, there's probably a part of you that thinks it's a bad idea.
     
    THEdally_llama likes this.
  16. Gotham Outlaw

    Gotham Outlaw Fapstronaut

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    If it was me in this situation I'd probably pass. I'd rather spend that time with someone I actually want a relationship with.
     
  17. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    That depends on what you want. I personally would never sleep with someone i am not attracted to.
    You are going to get naked and are going to be inside a wamen, for crying out loud.
    That is only meant for people who (really) like each other.

    Go hug a puppy or some friends if you need some physical touch.
    I am not saying you can't have flings or one night stands.
    But you gotta do those with people you enjoy being and have a great time with.

    If you write here on whether you are supposed to do it or not, that already tells me it's probably better not to do it. With the right person, you would never ask a question on any forum. You would just enjoy the time together and forget this forum exists.
     
  18. Don’t do it, you’ll never regret trusting your gut feeling.
     
  19. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    Lie and say you're homosexual.
     

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