Relapse after relapse

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Karegador, Dec 18, 2014.

  1. Karegador

    Karegador Fapstronaut

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    Since, accidentally, coming across manga porn that wasn't blocked. I have relapsed nearly everyday this week. My best streak has been one day. All this because the images have been haunting me.

    Thankfully that has subsided but my phone has become a source of porn. So I found and app to block unwanted content. I have also tweaked settings here and there and I believe my desktop is now secure.

    I feel like shit. I swear my hands look as hairy as an ape's, and we know those things are really into wanking.

    So tomorrow, I start fresh. I will be free of porn and fapping. I say this in part because I am DETERMINED to make it 30 days. But I also have the benefit of my wife and I leaving for Long Island Saturday, to spend Christmas with them. So that is a week free of porn and masturbation right there, and past evidence has shown me that after the first week it gets easier for me.

    I just really want this hell to end. I want to reach reboot and be free of this poison that has controlled me for all these years.
     
  2. heyitshannes

    heyitshannes Fapstronaut

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    I know how you feel dude. I've been there. Stay strong.

    You're right. After the first week, I think it does get a little bit easier. Mainly, I think, to the chaser effect subsiding.

    Good luck, and if you need anyone to chat to, hit me up on PM. :)
     
  3. First Thing You Need to Do is to Stop Regretting What You've done in the past.Stay Happy and Stay Inspired and love to Spend time with Your Family.In the next week,You Would be Much happy as You would be Celebrating Christmas and Spending Most of the Time with the Family.So Being Happy is One of keys to Success at NoFap.Don't Get Overwhelmed,there are Good Things Waiting for You. :)
     
  4. taurean-rebirth

    taurean-rebirth Fapstronaut

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    True that. Get through the first week, with people around you. And then stick to your plan. Its easier after the first week.
     
  5. Karegador

    Karegador Fapstronaut

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    On the bright side, I'm not lacking for motivation. My wife is enjoying sex more than before, and she didn't think it was possible because I always pleased her, because I'm getting bigger and harder erections. Also for me, sex has never felt better than since I made it 30 days, I feel more and I'm cumming.

    This is why I feel terrible after all these relapses because I fear that I'll go back to where I was before. Even if my masturbation grip is much lighter than it used to be. So every time I relapse, I think "Oh God, now I'll be less sensitive. I'm closer to being back where I started.". The fear is always there when I relapse. I can shrug off one relapse but a week of multiple relapses has me scared.
     
  6. Whatever

    Whatever Fapstronaut

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    Maybe you should chop down your arms. Although being honest and determined would be more efficient...

    ...or maybe you can block access to your private parts by wearing metal underwear...I have been contemplating this myself.
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2014
  7. whatvidone

    whatvidone Fapstronaut

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    I relapsed twice on hentai and then once on Facebook, after that i realized something, WHY THE FUCK did I ever fap to this crap anyway, why was i so obsessed with the fake things? Because I had become fake, I lost myself like so many others, You have to want to come back to reality before you can change. Good luck :D
     

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