Relapse then confession. The grip is loosening.

That's great. I for one don't believe in an overnight transformation from sinner to believer and we never sin again. I believe it's growth. It's baby steps. It's stumbling and crawling. It's worth it.

i remember listening to testimonies from people and they spoke as if one day they were a sinner and just like that, snap of the finger, they were saved and moved on with life. It's a very 2 dimensional view of a 3 dimensional thing. I believe in God the father. I believe in Christ the savior who walked this earth, died and was resurrected on the 3rd day. Yet I still sin and struggle with PMO. I'm like you though. It's getting better. The grip is loosening.

 

I am terrifically encouraged by you both. Keep fighting and do not give up! It *does* get better.

 

I had a recent relapse too after an argument with my wife.
I was talking to the Lord about his very thing today. About how I've been struggling with porn for such a long time, and it seems like baby steps. Shouldn't there be a big WOW moment that changes me for good? I read in Mark today about the man in Gerasa who lived among the tombs and cut himself with stones and broke the chains they tried to bind him with. He was possessed by many demons. Jesus set him free. Somehow I think that man never went to back to what he was before.
So why do I keep going back? Pride? Unbelief? Stubborness?
I was also thinking on what David said in Psalm18 … "I pursued my enemies and overtook them, I did not turn back until they were destroyed."
Maybe God wants us to go on the offensive in our battle with this sin.
Bob385 I know exactly what that's like, just looking something up and bang, there's a trigger and it's off to the races. I hope you'll get back on track. May God grant us both the grace to stay on track.

 

I was an active PMO addict for over 25 years. When I got serious about stopping, my first step was to quit my IT career so I could get away from sitting at computers all day. I took a 60% pay cut and became a plumber! That led to an immediate 9-month streak of no P. It wasn't full recovery, but I was on the road.

We get out of recovery what we put into it. Success is 100% guaranteed in recovery if we are 100% committed to the process.

No P. No MO. No P-subs of any kind. No sexual thinking apart from the physical presence of one's spouse. Those were the steps I took, one at a time, over a period of six years. I attended in-person recovery meetings for about three years. I continue to check in each day with my AP network.

Give it everything you've got. Be willing to pay whatever price is required to get free and stay free. Do not give up, and you *will* have breakthrough. Feel free to shoot me a DM any time if I may ever be of service to you in your recovery.

 

Thanks for your reply Tao Jones. P-subs and sexual fantasizing is something I have to learn overcome too. It always leads to actual PM. Thanks for the encouragement.