Relapse

I quit my medications for schizoaffective disorder, and lusting temptations came back big time, might be withdrawal effects of the medication, but I've been doing penis enlargement exersizes for almost a week now, My penis size is more than adequate for the purpose of making a baby, enlargement exersizes are something that I'm drawn to. Everytime I make a goal for penis enlargement and I reach it I move the goal posts. My lust is more subdued, though in recent episodes. I wonder what it will take for me to stop trying to enlarge my equipment, will I have a foot long weiner in my 40's, could I even leave the house with a dick that big? It's a recurring addiction, and while I do it much less than I used to, I still have ongoing damage from the porn I used to watch. I should just ejaculate more so I'm not as tempted and who knows, maybe I'll be able to get back to not jerking off for 50 days or more again, I'd like to do it without medication.

 

A problem with these exercises, I guess you could say I'm blessed, but I gain size quickly, in one week I put on 2 inches in length and half an inch in girth. I had driven myself mad with lust and was hospitalized, lost both my girlfriend and the woman of my dreams which is a problem when you're addicted to it strangely enough, the practice drives women away, like they could sense my creepy vibes. I'm basically a freak at this point. Haven't had sex in 4 years, must give off creepy vibes. When I'm having a lusting episode, I must think of my dick like a hundred times in a day, thinking of my dimensions, like I'd look at an air freshener can and compare my dick size to it. It's like a disability.

 

One of the things that's helping me, is that I'm watching what I fantasize about, no more creepy fantasies of extreme sexual intercourse, I think of things like getting a lap dance from a nurse or getting a hand job, or titty sex with a big breasted woman it isn't as entertaining as the depravity I used to think about, but it gets the job done when the temptations get to be too much.