Always Keep Going
Fapstronaut
A few distinguished messages / verses circling in my mind right now.
I am not as muddled as I thought I would be.. though a bit sourly disappointed because I really thought I had it down this time.
As dark as these times are, this recent failure has led me to believe there really is
some benefit to keeping your word and not crossing those promises built over time.
The reason for my relapse is that I got into some shit I wasn't supposed to, and that
contributed to a more dismissive and carefree attitude towards the addiction which had crippled me all throughout my teenage years.
I slipped, fell of the horse, and bungled for a bit after. The benefits do exist (I can say that with absolute certitude) - it is also an experience itself to be free of the manacles of doubt and habit.. such soothes the soul of an already worthy amount of life's pangs.
Don't be like me and forget your reason, even if the world seems to be tumbling down upon you... even at times when your sense of self is blanded or even countermanded by an experience that gets under your skin. You will, nor should, never be something else than what you are; questioning the collection of traits that defines you and their flexibility may not be a healthy option for those with tendencies to think much about themselves.
Instead, define a goal and make attempts to reach them. Don't think too much about them, whether they are narrow-minded or even feasable, whether your mood may influence how you beset them... instead approach life with rational poise and get what you need to get done. If you mess up along the way, get back up. This is a journey, after all. But don't be remiss as to think what you've learnt from the past is filmy or worthless! All those experiences matter- make mistakes to learn, but don't get stuck on the same problem.
That's all that needs to be said, from me at least. I hope you all reach assurance along the way. In my reboot I've learned a great deal of things- most primarily that life is large, and should not be debased to solving a single problem nor thinking that a single bad habit should justify misery. Get over it, go outside and search for your reason. If it ever creeps up on you- like it did to me - dont grow downcast and resentful... just accept it and keep going. Good luck.
I am not as muddled as I thought I would be.. though a bit sourly disappointed because I really thought I had it down this time.
As dark as these times are, this recent failure has led me to believe there really is
some benefit to keeping your word and not crossing those promises built over time.
The reason for my relapse is that I got into some shit I wasn't supposed to, and that
contributed to a more dismissive and carefree attitude towards the addiction which had crippled me all throughout my teenage years.
I slipped, fell of the horse, and bungled for a bit after. The benefits do exist (I can say that with absolute certitude) - it is also an experience itself to be free of the manacles of doubt and habit.. such soothes the soul of an already worthy amount of life's pangs.
Don't be like me and forget your reason, even if the world seems to be tumbling down upon you... even at times when your sense of self is blanded or even countermanded by an experience that gets under your skin. You will, nor should, never be something else than what you are; questioning the collection of traits that defines you and their flexibility may not be a healthy option for those with tendencies to think much about themselves.
Instead, define a goal and make attempts to reach them. Don't think too much about them, whether they are narrow-minded or even feasable, whether your mood may influence how you beset them... instead approach life with rational poise and get what you need to get done. If you mess up along the way, get back up. This is a journey, after all. But don't be remiss as to think what you've learnt from the past is filmy or worthless! All those experiences matter- make mistakes to learn, but don't get stuck on the same problem.
That's all that needs to be said, from me at least. I hope you all reach assurance along the way. In my reboot I've learned a great deal of things- most primarily that life is large, and should not be debased to solving a single problem nor thinking that a single bad habit should justify misery. Get over it, go outside and search for your reason. If it ever creeps up on you- like it did to me - dont grow downcast and resentful... just accept it and keep going. Good luck.
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