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Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Xdecidestoquit, Nov 27, 2018.
Thanks a lot for posting this, it was really helpful for me.
Before replying to all, I would like to appreciate the kindness of all the people who replied to this thread. You guys are truly amazing. I highly doubt there are forums out there with this level of empathy and kindness. Thank you.
I very much appreciate your consideration. I will work on my self love, but I have to see how far I go. Again, I will not deny the fact of my unattractiveness. I will just learn to deal with it. That's it.
I would rather be beheaded than to try an arranged marriage. Hopefully I don't end up in that path.
I tried going to the gym at the time I was abstaining my self from PMO, it did not have a noticeable effect. But I have to go for the sake of addiction. I've been binging unfortunately since I have relapsed.
I'm not religious.I'm atheist agnostic. But I do like some of the concepts of Buddhism. I have always wanted to follow. But I guess, as I said, one year and nine months of nofap approach did not help me with my procrastination attitude at all.
Reading books is actually my next objective. Although I have serious case of ADHD, I try my best to read one book a month, at least. It sometimes take me 4 hours to finish 10 pages.
Thank you so much, man. To be honest, I feel kinda lost. I relapsed again today. This time with porn actually. I should start from zero which is very difficult. The very first thing I should fight for is my mental illness. I've been through a lot of sh*t in my life, but I have to deal with them until my time comes. I have no other choice to be honest. I have a super difficult path ahead of me. Hopefully I can succeed again. My brain is playing games with me right now saying to fap as much as you want, you're not getting anything in life anyway. But I have to do this for my own pride.
You can do it. And don't be afraid to seek out a counselor to help you sort through this, if that's something you might be interested in. I talked to a counselor about my porn addiction and it helped to talk to someone in person. Good luck, and don't give up.
Brother- you have some level of self discipline and self-respect deep down, otherwise you would not have made it so long on nofap. But this defeatist, "I'm a hopeless loser who will never get laid" self talk will put you right back in the porn gutter if you can't get a hold of your feelings. Change your paradigm now.
I'm a 38 year old virgin. It's not because I'm ugly. I cannot relate to your feelings in that regard. However, I did feel like I would never stack up or be able to make a woman happy for many years. I was afraid of intimacy. Anyways, I felt like I was destined to be in that boat forever. I don't anymore. This because I had some real soul searching talks with myself and thought deeply about what I wanted, my views of me, and what needed to change. And I forced myself to make some uncomfortable changes.
Here's my point- I know guys that are very overweight with bad faces. Many would call them losers, but yet they still have girlfriends. Why? Because they work with what they have. (funny, smart, kind, effective at getting stuff done, won't take crap from anyone, actually care about the girl they are with not just for sex, etc.) Not saying they are dating super models (though a couple of my buddies that are pretty overweight are with real stunners), but they have good relationships. But they never would have found anyone if they wallowed in self pity.
Anyways- Don't be a doormat. Focus on what you do have going for you and play it up. Start working out again and do it properly (learn to train with heavier weights). Hygiene. Dress your best. Try to meet girls with interests common to you.
Don't fap anymore. It does make a difference. If you are fapping, you have ZERO chance of a fulfilling relationship.
BTW- You are not alone in your erroneous beliefs. I have read too many threads like this one here in the forums. Some turn it around, others are still fighting to get started. Best wishes.
But the statistics show, an arranged marriage works out on every occasion whereas a love marriage doesn’t. The world is full of lustful love marriages, that’s why it’s in the state that it’s in, havoc and chaos.
Iranian girls r beautiful n hot. I think if you are ready to get married you shouldn’t delay it. If the girl rejects you she’s gonna get a sinful record. Get married while you can. Otherwise the rest of your life you’ll be thinking where it went wrong.
It’s all in your head, it’s all psychological. Get married.
Hang in there! You can do it!
I feel for you
If you did it once you can do it twice
P. Has nothing but what you already know to give you.
I can hear a lot of self hate in your words. Where does it come from? Mother father? Other? Can you love yourself? Would you live a so called ugly girl? We all have something to give and if this is what need the girl than bingo!
Please don't lose hope. There are many married man that commit suicide. It means rhat S or having a girl is not happiness.
We do this together
i know exactly how @Xdecidestoquit feels, because i live in the same country and believe me, finding a girlfriend and gettin laid is very tough (or impossible) for some of us, so i feel your pain brother.
sex and loving someone is a basic need and people would feel empty without it but like others said be positive and do not give up, but if u can't get laid at the end of the day it doesn't mean you can't enjoy your life, i know you can't replace sex or loving someone with something else but you can still enjoy your life by experiencing new things, nofap is just a step forward in your journey, if your path is blocked by something try to remove it, you can't remove it that's OK, choose another path BUT do not stop or turn back, keep moving forward and explore your life and more importantly yourself!
Good Luck in your path my friend