Relapsed after 120 days

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Pete the friendly Dragon, Nov 8, 2018.

  1. So one day this year, I drew the line with my porn addiction and started the 90 day challenge. I, to my own surprise, found a great deal of success with this, and made it through the 90 days without too much trouble. Because I also have a porn induced-ED, I decided to keep going for as long as I could. Some time after the 90 days, I began masturbating again, which seemed to have enabled the chaser effect. While I started off masturbating to nothing but my imagination, as a couple weeks went by, this started not being enough. A couple triggers from movies I had to watch in class as I am a film student, combined with some nights of terrible melancholic sadness, led me to relapse and watch porn again for the first time in nearly 4 months. This was a few weeks ago. Since then, I've watched porn 3 other times, all during intervals that were each a week apart. While it shows some will power that I'm able to limit my use of porn to once a week, I really don't want to be using it at all, despite successfully completing my 90 day challenge on the first attempt. I feel like every time I do, I'm cheating my mind, and my porn-induced ED will never truly reverse if I continue to watch porn on any basis. The problem is, I simply don't feel the same control or discipline over myself when urges come at this point, compared to that during my 90 day reboot. What are things I can do the stop what feels like a train leaving the station of my progress and regain control of myself once again?
     
  2. Finelayer2

    Finelayer2 New Fapstronaut

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    Hey pete if you want to quit PMO you need to know why you want to quit it. You seem to understand that its not the right thing and brings a lot of problems just as your ED. You already managed to go without it for 90 days, thats great!
    As you said by yourself, you came back to PMO fast after you started to masturbate again. Masturbating is just the first stage and will lead to PMO, i noticed for me its almost impossible to avoid this. Maybe masturbatung without porn isnt as bad but its basically the same and will keep the desire alive.
    Once you started to obstain PMO for a week it will become more easy again. The first week had been very hard when i tried. But you need to remind yourself what you expect from it. Just imagine yourself in 1 year or in 2 years and you would still struggle with your PMO. One day you need to start your complete reboot to heal yourself. I was also falling back alot of times because i didnt take it to serious and always wanted to start the next day. But nothing changed and things even get worse. Thats why i just had to start. And now i regret not starting earlier.
    I believe you can do it pete, but at the end you are the only one who can really help yourself.
     

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