chevalierdepas
Fapstronaut
Hey guys,
I'm new here. I've been trying to quit for years without success. After a crisis in August, when I reached rock bottom, I developed reflux and my anxiety spiked (depersonalization, death anxiety, fight flight freeze mode all day, intrusive thoughts, etc.). In October, still recovering from my anxiety, after having edged for a whole day, I started to search again for the dangers of porn, to read the disgrace of porn users in forums, how it can destroy life in many ways; now even healthline and medical news today consider porn as an addiction. I already was aware of it's dangers, but I was partially willfully blinded. But now, having reached rock bottom, suffering with anxiety, going to the therapist (I was using that rock bottom as an opportunity to improve myself) I had an anxiety attack for a week, completely obsessed about porn, all day long, read the Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking Method to Quit Porn, and for the first time ever, at first attempt, I reached 125 days without PMOing nor MOing.
Although I was following the rule of not peeking, sometimes I would peek for seconds, some rare times minutes, but I would control myself, and anxiety too would kick in, and the danger would pass. I tried to cultivate the mindset that I don't need this to be happy, that is an illusion, and let that and the anxiety help me, so I didn't rely only on willpower, especially at first, when willpower is clearly not enough.
But now, after all this time, while still fixing my life in so many aspects, while so old (27) and ao behind on life, still a virgin, I have relapsed. I didn't binge, it was only once, but I edged for hours to many types of stuff, due to frustration and dopaminergic high. What do I do? Was my progress all down the toilet? I feel I will never fix my life, stop this hellish addiction, have an intimate relationship. I also had quit for months all the negative self talk; the pain due to being an involuntary virgin was very relative, and I was focusing on my PhD. But I feel discouraged now. I know I cannot binge now, that I must be careful and not get carried away by frustration.
Do u have any suggestions? Thank u!
João
I'm new here. I've been trying to quit for years without success. After a crisis in August, when I reached rock bottom, I developed reflux and my anxiety spiked (depersonalization, death anxiety, fight flight freeze mode all day, intrusive thoughts, etc.). In October, still recovering from my anxiety, after having edged for a whole day, I started to search again for the dangers of porn, to read the disgrace of porn users in forums, how it can destroy life in many ways; now even healthline and medical news today consider porn as an addiction. I already was aware of it's dangers, but I was partially willfully blinded. But now, having reached rock bottom, suffering with anxiety, going to the therapist (I was using that rock bottom as an opportunity to improve myself) I had an anxiety attack for a week, completely obsessed about porn, all day long, read the Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking Method to Quit Porn, and for the first time ever, at first attempt, I reached 125 days without PMOing nor MOing.
Although I was following the rule of not peeking, sometimes I would peek for seconds, some rare times minutes, but I would control myself, and anxiety too would kick in, and the danger would pass. I tried to cultivate the mindset that I don't need this to be happy, that is an illusion, and let that and the anxiety help me, so I didn't rely only on willpower, especially at first, when willpower is clearly not enough.
But now, after all this time, while still fixing my life in so many aspects, while so old (27) and ao behind on life, still a virgin, I have relapsed. I didn't binge, it was only once, but I edged for hours to many types of stuff, due to frustration and dopaminergic high. What do I do? Was my progress all down the toilet? I feel I will never fix my life, stop this hellish addiction, have an intimate relationship. I also had quit for months all the negative self talk; the pain due to being an involuntary virgin was very relative, and I was focusing on my PhD. But I feel discouraged now. I know I cannot binge now, that I must be careful and not get carried away by frustration.
Do u have any suggestions? Thank u!
João