Relapsed after a 45 day streak and binging from more than a week!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by V_freedom, Nov 6, 2015.

  1. V_freedom

    V_freedom Guest

    I've had a 45 day streak. But I relapsed around October 27th and I've been relapsing since then. With each day, my addiction and behavior is coming back! And it is escalating. I started by watching hot videos on YouTube. I watched massage and breast feeding videos and MO'ed later. Then I watched porn! And a day later I PMO'ed. Now, I'm doing it like old times (I was highly addicted) just woke up and did it again. Need help and advice.
    Thank you
    V
     
  2. Alex ♥

    Alex ♥ Guest

    alright, im not the best on this. but what works for me, is to put your mind in another place, watching funny videos, and action movies hep me. keeping yourself preoccupied, distracted. if you have homework, do it. if you need to go to sleep, do it!
    might sound weird, but water helps. idk why, just is.
     
    bestrongbefearless and V_freedom like this.
  3. msmahamed

    msmahamed Fapstronaut

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    Exactly, whenever I get the feelings to MO, I remind myself that the 15 seconds of joy I'll get isn't worth throwing away the days I've earned. V_Freedon, everytime you feel the urge, just "focus on your 3 foot world". Meaning, focus on what you can do rather than masturbating cause every day is a victory.
     
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  4. taqwa

    taqwa Fapstronaut

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    45 Days! Strong work! Keep this in mind: If you were to relapse every other day, you would be fapping 50% less!! Not bad. You will be successful if you don't give up! Lifelong journey brother. The fact you are aware and your PMO is not automatic will give you the ammo to beat this eventually!

    Learn from the relapse and it will not be failure. Journal around the event. Why did it happen? What were you doing minutes before? hours before? days before? How was your diet? Were you exercising? Were you engaged in doing things you enjoy? etc. Dig deep with each relapse. It is an incredible opportunity to learn about yourself and ultimately grow stronger and become the warrior you intend to be. Head up! Stay strong brother.

    Check out this golden post that will help you on your journey!
    http://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/my-top-tips-for-leaving-pmo-behind.35201/
     
    kevinkevin19 and V_freedom like this.
  5. V_freedom

    V_freedom Guest

    Thank you guys! Great tips. I think a major part of my problem is loneliness. I'm single and just can't seem to find any girl, let alone the perfect girl. There's a long story related to my relationship and it is very painful for me. I seek love from someone. My ex GF left me in miseries and has never looked back! And that hurts me because I've been through ultimate failures and ended up losing my reputation.
     
  6. Handy Andy

    Handy Andy Fapstronaut

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    Hey V_freedom,

    You've already accomplished more than me and many others by getting to 45 days. You can get back on the wagon, I know it.

    Don't worry about finding a girl to be with. It'll happen when it happens. The solution to your problem is inside yourself and by joining NoFap and quitting you've taken the most important first steps. When you're ready, it'll shine through and someone will recognise it. Look forward to that. Healing from your addiction and healing from your heartbreak will go together. There's no point trying to force it.

    Good luck mate!

    Andy
     
  7. V_freedom

    V_freedom Guest

    Thanks! I think that we all know the way. We all know what should be done. But we keep on forgetting! I find it hard to maintain that position of deep knowing. You are right. All the solutions or answers are within us. Thanks again everyone. :)
     
  8. jwfinch

    jwfinch Fapstronaut

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    40+ days is a great accomplishment. I think it's essential that you celebrate your success so that it's not all doom and gloom.

    If I think about the problems with alcohol that I've had, I used to focus on the # of continuous days that I'd avoided drinking. That was my obsession and gauge of success against the demon substance!

    Yet while it was great if I got to 20 or 30 days, quite often when I did drink and my "counter" re-set to 0 I'd end up binging for days and get into a negative mind-set. "Now I'm back to square one - what a failure" etc.

    What helped me more was to focus less on the # of continuous days and more of the # of days in a month. So for example last month I had 26 days clean and sober yet I didn't go more than several days without at least one drink. In the context of "days since" I'd have been beating myself up - but looking at "the month view" I could put my drinking into another context and think, "Wow, I'm not actually an alcoholic".

    So while I am personally 100% committed to trying to reach 30 days with my own PMO goal (as I want to give my brain a chance to re-set), I also intend to ensure I track clearly what my successes are if I do fall down i.e. "I managed 6 days, relapsed, then 5, relapsed, then 8... - great I only had 2 days of PMO last month. What a change to how I used to be...".
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2015
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  9. taqwa

    taqwa Fapstronaut

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    That is your story! you are not your story! Your mind can cripple you. Move on. I know you are a high quality person. The good always attract the good! Be patient and you will have that girl... Stay strong! Win!
     
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  10. V_freedom

    V_freedom Guest

    Thanks. That's a nice trick.. optimistic approach!
     
  11. V_freedom

    V_freedom Guest

    True! Thank you. I keep on forgetting that. But I've been thinking like that for quite a few weeks now and it feels better. I'm more than my story... I just find it hard to maintain that awareness.
     
  12. programer

    programer Fapstronaut

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    Same story dude. When Pmo came into my life, I lost everything. My girlfriend left me due to my Incredible wiredness.

    All that Shit is now long gone. Am on day 199! Check my thread "celebrating 180 days of rebooting." You can do this!!!!!
     
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  13. learning to love myself unconditionally helped derail the psychic energy loop that had me stuck on pmo binge cycles for days or weeks.

    and yes, be sure to give yourself credit for your 45 day streak.that's important. was for me.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 8, 2015
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  14. Golgo 13

    Golgo 13 Fapstronaut

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    I relapse after 118 days on after a cocaine binge, I PMO for 2 weeks, I almost OD'ed on coke from binging. I would snort a line and then look at porn, I went into a depression. Now I'm here almost a month later, and its getting better.

    The thing about this addiction is it takes time to recover, a lot of time. Your not going to be healed after 45 days I'll tell you that right now, it takes months to recover, this is a lifestyle change. So PMO for as long as you want but eventually you'll get sick of it and when you do come back here and get a calendar and join the rest of us. Trust me, if you want a better life, this is definitely the way.
     
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  15. FreedomIsHere

    FreedomIsHere Fapstronaut

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    That can happen man after you've abstained for a while. But keep pushing through man, 45 days is a good start! That's some good progress, you know what to do but you just have to push through and do what you've done to be successful!
     
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  16. V_freedom

    V_freedom Guest

    Thanks! I read your post. It's inspiring. Amazing achievement. Keep it up! Stay strong. Keep motivating newcomers.
     
    programer likes this.
  17. V_freedom

    V_freedom Guest

    Thank you everyone. All your comments are important and motivating for me.
     
  18. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Yes but I can fully understand that.

    Women often become so-called "Co-Addicts", which means that they are backing up the addicted partner and sacrificing their own life.

    There are 3 possiblities how such a relationships develops:

    1. Both stay together, in a mixture of happynes and unhappyness. He is sacricing his life to the addiction, she is sacrificing her life to him.
    2. Both work on themselves and make real progress.
    3. She leaves him and never looks back. Both are continuining on their own separate way.

    In fact, if a woman is stable, then she wants a stable partner and doesn't want to be the mommy of an adult man.

    I give you the advice to grow up and take responsibility for your life. You will see how you grow and how you become stable.
    Then, new options will come into your life.

    EDIT: 45 days are extremely good! Congratulitions! Remember back the time when you accomplished this and how good you felt. Focus on doing fulfilling things, and then you will soon get into a new streak again!
     
    V_freedom likes this.
  19. numpty

    numpty Fapstronaut

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    Sound like my situation.

    I managed 37 days.

    I fuckd up and have been binging for the last 26 days. Enough is a fucking enough.

    I am true to God and believe my pledge with him that if i relapse i pay 25£ towards charity for each relapse. ... i gave 75 yesterday... physically went to give so i don't just keep it mental but know the actual feeling
     
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  20. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Indeed, that's also my way with the sex addiction.
    You can fall into two "operating modes":
    - "binge mode": there you are crawling on the bottom, dependent on others, seeking for help
    - "boss mode": there you are on top - dependent on yourself; doing, working, deciding, organizing --- living a fulfilled life.
     

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