Relapsed ... AGAIN!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Burakh, Apr 9, 2020.

  1. Burakh

    Burakh New Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone! I am fairly new to this community, even tough I watched and observed it for more than a year now.

    I have been attempting NoFap for more than a year now and I always end up relapsing. My streaks are usually quite short, around 1-2 weeks and after a relapse I always end up binging. Yesterday I ended my 17 day streak (which was my best one in quite some time). I had no trigger when this happened and little to no prior sexual thoughts. I felt like I simply lost control and that I was simply observing my behaviour instead of being it's master. It was like I had absolutely no control, like I was simply witnessing what was happening and not the one doing it. Same happened today.

    Why I'm writing this:

    To share my struggles to people who I know will understand, to get some weight off my chest and to ask if anyone else was in a similar situation.
    Currently I think that I am doing some progess (even though extremely slow) and I wonder if your journey was equally slow. Also, I am wondering how to get to the 30 days mark (which is my goal now) and what little trick did you use if you passed this mark.

    Thanks in advance to anyone willing to listen and provide advice!!!
     
  2. Hi Burakh,
    I notice you writing about observing your behaviour rather than mastering it. Which is akin to the wrong doer blaming his weapon rather than himself. Believe me Burakh there is a time to view your behaviour with detachment. But this is not one of them!
    All of us feel powerless at times to abstain from PMO. I always thought that I was immune to the temptations of porn. But this was naive and arrogant on my part.
    We live in a World full of triggers and egregious hypocrisy. I for one often find myself unconsciously responding to sexual stimuli. But here's the key to success Burakh when you are about to view porn or fap. Train yourself to realise what you are doing then stop it immediately.
    Stopping could mean "bouncing your eyes" or closing down your computer. Do what you have to and don't compromise. Take care Burakh and good luck!
     
    Burakh likes this.
  3. RabidSkeleton

    RabidSkeleton New Fapstronaut

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    Although I recognise Burakh has about 127 days longer than my longest streak, I'd like to add that willpower alone is not enough to prevent looking at porn and then fapping. You seem a determined guy and probably have a porn blocker already on your laptop but chrome (if you have an android) doesn't allow extensions so I recommend installing kiwi browser and looking at Tiny WebFilter - the block keywords function is amazing! Just add a word like 'sexy videos' and every webpage with that on it is blocked.
     
    Burakh likes this.
  4. Hi Rabid,
    you are correct willpower alone is not enough. Willpower is not a constant force. Somedays it is strong on others weak.
    That is why I believe some form of mindfullness training is vital. This would enable us to be more present, mentally, in our lives. Meaning we are more unlikely to engage in compulsive behaviour.
     
  5. Deysonn

    Deysonn Fapstronaut

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    My longest streak has been 60 days i think, I find my biggest issue is when i have been clean for a while, i forget the dangers and reason why i started in the first place.
     
  6. RabidSkeleton

    RabidSkeleton New Fapstronaut

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    Mindfulness I have yet to explore, it does seem quite a good idea as I'm constantly in a frenzy of ideas bouncing around my head; ideas about, dating, nofap, conservatism you name it. Is it just meditation?
     
  7. Burakh

    Burakh New Fapstronaut

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    Hi RabidSkeleton!

    During my last 17 days streak I meditated every day between 25-45 minutes. I am sure that this played a big role in my last streak and prevented me from relapsing for many times.
    If you are a beginner I recommend trying headspace. It's good for starting out and learning out the basics, however if you want full acces to it you'll have to pay :/ . If you don't want to pay I also recommend Let's Meditate: Sleep & Guided Meditation.

    Oh, and pro tip: Don't be frustrated if your mind wonders too much. I started meditation last year and I could barely meditate 5 minute, so take your time and you'll surely make progress.

    Cheers, mate!
     
  8. My best wishes go to you! Keep you head held high and continue making improvements... :)
     
    Burakh likes this.
  9. It's because your body took over your mind. Watch this and understand what a habit is. Because you can't fight the demon u don't know.
     
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