Relapsed, need encouragement

First post here guys. Long back story so please bare with me. So my now wife and I have been together for a total of 10 years now. Dated for 5 married for 5. Due to her heart condition we elected to not have sex until we were married and she had surgery to help her condition. I'm not proud of it but during this time I masturbated quite often to porn ranging from 1-3 times a day. Once I moved in with her this slowly decreased to about 1-3 times a week. Before we tried to have sex I had no problem getting an erection even though I was watching tons of porn, but never really paid attention to the fact that it required constant stimulation for it to stay erect. Whenever we would do stuff it would mimic exactly what I did during porn watching. Hard constant stimulation lying on my back. Ok so fast forward to this year when we decide it's time to have sex to my surprise it doesnt fucking work. As soon as I stand up or go upright it doesn't take long at all before it goes away. So I decide to try out this nofap thing which I did not keep a counter but I would say roughly 40 days with now 1 relapse + a recent 2 day binge after about a week from the last relapse. So here are my questions
1. Did I lose all physical benefits as far as keeping an erection goes. This last stent of binge is mastrubating twice without porn and once with.
2. Is it normal to have zero libido for 40 days? I know about flat line but damn
3. Are thoughts about not being attracted to your partner even though you found them sufficiently attractive before these problems normal during reboot?
4. Do I really need a reboot or is this just performance anxiety because of the failed attempts at sex? We didnt try very often because we both kind of became discouraged after multiple failures.
5. Could the fear of trying again after nofap be what's halting my erections, like if nofap doesnt even work I'm worried my marriage is in jeopardy.
6. Is anxiety and fear normal during a reboot and if so what the hell do I do? I exercise 3 times a week and I am eating better.
Sorry for the long post...