Relapsed!

Just looked at nudes and stuff online. Relapse for sure! I’ve been good with not even really thinking about anything with anyone either than my gf in general. But today I was actively searching skinny chick nudes and clicking ass up kinda stuff. (Which at this point, I am 100 percent convinced this is because I was brainwashed by porn at a very young age, as in real life and in person I don’t even like doggystyle really at all or anything raunchy for that matter)
I think one of my triggers is insecurity. I find these days if I feel negatively about myself at all. My mind immediately attacks the size of my d. And I find when that happens too much I get triggered to want to look at other people and imagine my d as huge.. I think? Or just imagine woman acting like it’s really big. I think that is pretty much my only trigger these days.
Not sure how to fix insecurities in general but I’m working on developing skills and hobbies. And my gf is very supportive. I just feel so terrible. I feel like a cheater and just makes my self esteem lower. And produces a cycle.

I’m going to try hard mode all the way until my gf comes over in a few months. So definitely over 90 days.
The gf is super supportive, but it’s nice to have a community here that also struggles sometimes and supportive too.
Open to any constructive feedback, and I will actually 100 percent try every suggestion!