RELAPSES - Willpower alone isn't enough to conquer NOPMO

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by VitominV, May 30, 2020.

  1. VitominV

    VitominV Fapstronaut
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    Please note : This represents my personal belief, understanding and opinion on why relapses occur. This isn't intended to discount the progress anyone makes in NOPMO through willpower alone. I'm going to try and break this down to keep it as real as i can. If you find this insightful and could use some help with your NOPMO journey. Please feel free to reach out! Stay Blessed, Stay Strong <3


    We all know how the story goes. One moment you just decide this is it. "I've had it with pmo, i'm done with feeling guilty and ashamed of my filthy habit. From this moment on i will no longer pmo."


    First few hours are the easiest. The new me is so determined to change and break free from the shackles that bind me to this filthy habit. After seeing a few more testimonials and motivational posts on the nofap forum, i think to myself dang this is going to be easy. I so got this.:emoji_smile:


    First day - Relatively easy. The new me is still pretty enthusiastic about shedding the old ways. The new me is looking forward to new activities and is riding the GUILT FREE HIGH :emoji_sunglasses:

    A few days later - Ermmm... My brain starts to miss the spikes of dopamine it was receiving so frequently and easily. I start to experience withdrawal. I start to wonder if the rest of my life is going to be like this.:emoji_thinking: Perhaps there are new porn videos out?
    What if my favorite porn-star released a new 4k sextape?:emoji_thinking: :emoji_thinking:

    As the days progress and i start to gain more mental clarity i start questioning and reasoning to myself thus becoming my worst enemy

    -Will i ever be able to find anything that could replace the feeling of orgasming to porn?
    -Am i making nopmo a big deal? I mean if pmo is so wrong why is everyone doing it?
    -Will i honestly find anything that gives me the freedom to choose how i want to experience sexual arousal the way porn does?
    -Will i miss the way porn empowers me to think/imagine me getting laid with the hottest girls/guys and kinks
    -Will i ever find anyone who can turn me on the way pornstars do?

    The fear of missing out(FOMO) kicks in as you recall your kinks and fetishes:emoji_sweat:(This is no different to missing someone when you break up with them)

    A few weeks later - If you haven't relapsed by now you have overcome the first wave of FOMO and are still determined to become the new self:emoji_prince::emoji_princess:. You start seeing mini miracles in your life again and regain some of your "superpowers". You keep soldering on
    You become ultra sensitive to sexual arousal. Things that didn't even seem sexual before start messing with your mind and body. Just one scroll on instagram/tiktok and you are inundated with suggestive pictures and videos. You become so charged up with sexual energy that your brain is overcome and shut down. You cant think. And in a blink of a moment you have no idea what is going on. When you come to your senses you realize what has happened. The mist clears and the wave of guilt and shame washes over you as you realized you just relapsed. Oh, The feeling of self-betrayal :emoji_sob:

    STOP...:emoji_raised_hand: It is not your fault for relapsing:emoji_relaxed:. It is completely OK. But you cannot deny that moment sucks. It sucks so bad because all the minutes, days and weeks you put into becoming the new you was lost in a few seconds.


    See will power alone isn't enough. I'm not discounting the power of willpower. I know how powerful willpower is to get started on anything. But WILLPOWER ALONE ISN'T ENOUGH TO OVERCOME THIS EVIL PERMANENTLY. YOU NEED TO LET SOMETHING ELSE FIGHT THIS BATTLE FOR YOU EVERY SINGLE TIME.

    Why do i need something to fight this battle for me you ask?

    Because we are triggered in more ways than we actually know or understand

    The more we abstain from pmo the more we become ultra sensitive to sexual triggers again... Like for instance when i would see a female in a workout video eat a banana i wouldn't even know i was triggered. I'd think to myself "Cool. Cute girl eating a banana" and go about my time, however the mind can take that single moment and convert it into something it is not. Thanks to porn and our imagination we convert the ordinary into the filthy. And my body is reacting to these thoughts, Hormones are being produced because the body thinks it is going to get a hit of dopamine I.e SEX I.e PMO

    The primitive part of my brain is always looking for that easy hit of dopamine. And once you are triggered you are a walking time-bomb. It is only a matter of time before you explode. This could be minutes, hours, days, weeks but trust me you WILL RELAPSE... Because when your willpower is down, evil finds a way into your heart and thoughts...


    UNLESS... YOU UP YOUR FAITH GAME. What do i mean by that?

    I don't mean you start becoming a priest or a nun, Start praying 11,000 times a day while walking around with your book of choice.

    But you need to let something else ward off the triggers and fight the urges for you. Willpower is great to give us a jump-start. But to become fully immune to this evil you have to fill your heart up with purity and mind with righteousness. And willpower will NOT give you Righteousness in your mind and purity in your heart, instead willpower will give you PRIDE and EGO.

    PRIDE and EGO are great to have when you need to stand in your conviction on the progress of NOPMO. But guess what else uses PRIDE and EGO to snag you? PORN!!!

    But with PURITY and RIGHTEOUSNESS You become pure of heart and mind and with PRIDE and EGO on top of that you are a fortified warrior. No longer running away from evil or trying to avoid its grip. But you look evil dead in the face and you say bring it on B****H. I aint scared of you, i aint running from you, bring me all the porn you got and watch as my faith shuts you down and destroys you every single time.

    Because IT IS WRITTEN.. IT IS THE LAW!

    But without faith and purity all you have is a little bit of a ego boost and pride for doing nopmo. Like the seeds that were sown over the rock you will fall when adversity hits because there is no foundation to hold yourself accountable to righteousness.

    WHY WE FAIL

    When we are on this journey we see NOPMO as a challenge. This is in the back of our minds. We always see it as a challenge because we are holding on to a version of ourselves that is convinced that NOPMO is a challenge. Like we have to stretch and reach to grab the title of being a NOPMOer. We see NOPMO as this mountain we have to climb using sheer willpower alone. But as it is written, if you have the faith of a mustard seed you will say to the mountain move and the mountain will move... FOR IT IS WRITTEN!


    If anyone of you has played a video game you will know that every time you play you are in challenge mode. And sometimes you win and sometimes you lose right? You lose because you were not paying attention and the enemy got you or, You let your guard down and exposed where you were, Or simply you were way too cocky and got put in your place.

    You must turn your faith game on. I gave my fight over to GOD. from Day 1 GODMODE was activated and every challenge was over even before it began. Because i no longer fight my urges. GOD fights them for me and fills me up with purity and righteousness. Even as i type this tears are streaming down my face because i know that GOD wants each and every one of us to call on him to help us through this EVIL. And i know how much it hurts to relapse and watch all the effort you made go unnoticed because of a F*****G Relapse.


    Do not try to fight this alone with WILLPOWER brothers and Sisters. For as Christ took my sins for me and died for my sins i call upon all of you to give this over to GOD. FILL YOUR HEART UP WITH PURITY AND MIND WITH RIGHTEOUSNESS

    Good Luck <3 God Bless you all <3
     

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