So i have been doing well trying to do NoFap for over a month .. i keep stumbling back and falling. i relapsed again yesterday because its very easy to forget ur motive. My motive here on NoFap was to save time. Time that i have been wasting so much masturbating. To develop better habits get over my laziness and just be more active. Get through this hard exam. And just give myself some time to relax. Starting with how much did i succeed ... I studied not enough but atleast i am doing better. Getting an AP really helps. Did i become more active no. I lost motive I lost purpose just like i lost reason to study i lost purpose to fight masturbation. Regret and guilt really drives oneself. But what if u dont feel anything anymore. To be honest everytime i relapsed it became easy to relapse more. Every time i considered studying can be done some other time i procrastinated. I let down my parents in the process. The point is i keep lying to myself saying that lets procrastinate. My main motive was to save time so did i save time. Maybe yes i did save time but did i utilize that time for better purpose no. Developing a lifestyle and achieving a goal is not just one activity its all. To pass i feel like to save time u need to make sacrifices and i did not make any. If i am not masturbating I am on the internet or social media... whatever it is thats making me scroll mindlessly... Now with days left for the exam i feel so hopeless and unprepared.. Never have i felt this way.. the feeling that this time maybe i will fail .. which i dont wanna... Everyone decides what they have to stop doing in order to save time and focus. I wanna say its not just porn its everything. How hard can it be to maintain a routine how hard can it be to stick to that very decision u made.. welll it can be hard. My motive wasnt to just quit porn it was to quit porn save time and clean my room everyday ... to learn cooking .. to study well so that i can pass ... to start focusing on only on one thing.. To realise that maybe the exam will have another attempt but what about life. So maybe i wont pass this time so maybe i just lost 3 months of my life. So maybe i keep deciding stuff and never pull through. Thats what makes me just this average person who doesnt achieve anything exceptional. i dont know how to end this so i am just gonna go.