shadow/Miko
New Fapstronaut
I have seen many girls anytime in life, but just never been in a actual relationship. It always getting rejecting, left on read or ignored,etc. Since This year, after having not a good experience going to my first football game, I have been relapsing constantly. Streaking have been up or down, I haven't even reach through a month, but streaks before this year, I was 90+ days. I'm mostly relapsing over the though of just being with a girl, someone I love, I can talk with,etc, and yes also sexual tensions. So much of my urges is just models, and just craving intimacy with them. Not realizing I'm preventing from what I want to do with my life.
I want to continue this side hustle have, but I just barley know how to do animation art. I want to that self confidence I used, with my other streaks, I want that impression to girls about myself that I had in my other streaks, I want to go back to the gym, I just want to feel to matter, but I wake up,scroll twitter about football,YouTube, and Snapchat spotlight, then Cold shower, cook something, watch a show (currently watching breaking bad), play some single player games but I also get bored of them, deal with my parents insecurities (I'm the youngest, and they feel more guilty of me than my older brothers) before I move out to college, then work dealing with talking to people, then just staying up to watching a movie, then it just repeats.
Maybe with Football/NFL back tomorrow, the friends I watch and chat with probably can help me feel better. I did watch the hall of frame game, but it was cut short and I was bored. Maybe Once I move out to college, somethings can change about my routine. I can probably meet people who i can inspire, and inspire me back. New hobbies, and find myself.
In the end of this confession, I'm not suicidal, I just wanna feel like I want to matter, but just never feel it.
I want to continue this side hustle have, but I just barley know how to do animation art. I want to that self confidence I used, with my other streaks, I want that impression to girls about myself that I had in my other streaks, I want to go back to the gym, I just want to feel to matter, but I wake up,scroll twitter about football,YouTube, and Snapchat spotlight, then Cold shower, cook something, watch a show (currently watching breaking bad), play some single player games but I also get bored of them, deal with my parents insecurities (I'm the youngest, and they feel more guilty of me than my older brothers) before I move out to college, then work dealing with talking to people, then just staying up to watching a movie, then it just repeats.
Maybe with Football/NFL back tomorrow, the friends I watch and chat with probably can help me feel better. I did watch the hall of frame game, but it was cut short and I was bored. Maybe Once I move out to college, somethings can change about my routine. I can probably meet people who i can inspire, and inspire me back. New hobbies, and find myself.
In the end of this confession, I'm not suicidal, I just wanna feel like I want to matter, but just never feel it.
