Relasped 2x after 16 days. How bad did i fuck up?????

Set yourself progressively more challenging goals, and track your success, not only in terms of streaks, but also in terms of percentage of successful days. A spreadsheet for tracking your success is linked in my signature, and a sample set of progressive long-term, medium-term, and short-term goals is in the spoiler.

Spoiler: Goal Setting

I don't think there is anything wrong with a goal of "as long as I can go," or X days in a row. I totally support everyone on that, but I think we need to consider basic goal setting principles, in looking to improve ourselves. Imagine a coach that sets his goal, ahead of the season, as having a perfect record. What happens if his team loses the first game?

Goals must be SMART:

S - Specific. "Be better at swimming than everyone" is a terrible goal. "Win the 2016 Olympic gold medal in 200m backstroke" is an excellent goal.

M - Measurable. Pretty straight forward - "I want to feel good about myself, in general," isn't a very productive goal. "I don't want to have feelings of self-loathing for more than one day in a row for the next two weeks" would be a better version.

A - Attainable. This means that they are actually possible. So, "Become King of England is not attainable, because the law prohibits you from succeeding Queen Elizabeth, and the Kingdom of England hasn't existed for over 300 years. "Become Prime Minister of the United Kingdom" is attainable.

R - Realistic. This is to do with how likely it is that you can actually attain the goal. Becoming PM of the UK might be technically attainable, but it is probably not realistic.

T - Time Bound. You need a deadline, or you can't measure progress.

Time-bound and Realistic are where most of ours fall down. Those that are just trying to go on forever, well that's a great endeavour, but you need to set multiple goals and targets along the way. Succeeding at goals leads to succeeding at other, more challenging goals. So, you have to set yourself up for success. If you've never made it more than 8 days, then 30 days is not a realistic NEXT goal. Your next goal should be an incremental improvement. I would say, set your next goal at 10 days. You can probably make it more than that, so you've now set yourself to exceed expectations. Also, bind this goal by time, reasonably. "Have a NoFap streak of at least 10 days in July." Now, to keep from allowing yourself "permission" to relapse once you've made that 10 day streak, set a concurrent goal like "have a minimum of 24 fap-free days in July." This will help you build to the point of having a successful 90 day, or other more difficult, challenge. It also gives you something you are still working toward, if you fail at one thing. Here's a sample set of goals. It's probably more time than most people need to achieve this, but there is no rule against completing goals ahead of schedule! Remember, kids: under-promise, over-deliver!

MAIN GOAL: Go 365 days without PMO by the end of 2021.
SUB-GOALS, by Target Date

o July 31st, 2015

§ Go 5 consecutive PMO-free days

§ Have 10 PMO-free days in one month.

o August 31st, 2015

§ Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days

§ Have 15 PMO-free days in one month

o September 30th, 2015

§ Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days

§ Have 18 PMO-free days in one month

o October 31st, 2015

§ Go 18 consecutive PMO-free days

§ Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days at least twice

§ Have 20 PMO-free days in one month

§ Have 10 PMO-free days in one month twice.

o November 30th, 2015

§ Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days

§ Have 23 PMO-free days in one month.

§ Have 15 PMO-free days in one month twice

o December 31st, 2015

§ Go 23 consecutive PMO-free days

§ Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days three times.

§ Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days twice.

o January 31st, 2015

§ Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days four times

§ Have 15 PMO-free days in one month three times.

o February 29th, 2016

§ Go 25 consecutive PMO-free days

§ Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days four times

o March 31st, 2016

§ Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days three times.

§ Go 28 consecutive PMO-free days.

§ Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days five times.

o April 30th, 2016

§ Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days six times.

§ Have 15 PMO-free days in one month four times.

§ Have 20 PMO-free days in one month twice.

o May 31st, 2016

§ Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days four times.

§ Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days seven times

§ Have 15 PMO-free days in one month five times.

§ Go 30 consecutive PMO-free days

o June 30th, 2016

§ Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days eight times

§ Have 15 PMO-free days in one month six times.

§ Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days twice.

o July 31st, 2016

§ Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days five times

§ Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days nine times

§ Have 15 PMO-free days in a month seven times.

o August 31st, 2016

§ Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days six times.

§ Have 15 PMO-free days in one month eight times.

§ Have 20 PMO-free days in one month three times.

o September 30th, 2016

§ Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days seven times.

§ Have 15 PMO-free days in one month nine times.

§ Go 30 consecutive days without PMO.

o October 31st, 2016

§ Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days eight times.

§ Have 20 PMO-free days in one month four times.

o November 30th, 2016

§ Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days nine times.

§ Have 15 PMO-free days in one month four times.

§ Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days four times.

o December 31st, 2016

§ Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days ten times.

§ Have 20 PMO-free days in one month five times.

o January 31st, 2017

§ Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days four times

§ Have 23 PMO-free days in one month twice.

o February 28th, 2017

§ Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days 12 times

§ Have 20 PMO-free days in one month six times.

§ Go a calendar month PMO-free

o March 31st, 2017

§ Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days five times

§ Have 23 PMO-free days in month three times.

o April 30th, 2017

§ Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days 13 times

§ Go 25 consecutive PMO-free days three times.

§ Have 20 PMO-free days in one month seven times

o May 31st, 2017

§ Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days six times

§ Have 23 PMO-free days in one month four times

o June 30th, 2017

§ Have 25 PMO-free days in one month three times

o July 31st, 2017

§ Go 15-consecutive PMO-free days 15 times

§ Have 20 PMO-free days in one month 10 times

§ Go 30 consecutive PMO-free days three times.

o December 31st, 2017

§ Go 45 consecutive PMO-free days

§ Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days 10 times

§ Go 30 consecutive PMO-free days five times

§ Go a calendar month PMO-free twice

§ Have 20 PMO-free days in one month 13 times

§ Have 25 PMO-free days in one month 10 times.

§ Have 300 PMO-free days in one year.

o June 30th, 2018

§ Go 60 consecutive PMO free days.

§ Go 45 consecutive PMO free days three times.

§ Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days 15 times.

§ Have 20 PMO-free days in one month 17 times.

§ Have 25 PMO-free days in one month 13 times.

o December 31st, 2018

§ Go 75 consecutive PMO free days

§ Go 45 consecutive PMO free days five times

§ Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days 20 times

§ Have 25 PMO-free days in one month 17 times

§ Have 325 PMO-free days in one year.

o June 30th, 2019

§ Go 90 consecutive PMO-free days

§ Go 45 consecutive PMO-free days eight times

§ Have 25 PMO-free days in one month 22 times

o December 31st, 2019

§ Go 120 consecutive PMO-free days

§ Go 90 consecutive PMO-free days three times

§ Go 60 consecutive PMO-free days five times

§ Have 28 PMO-free days in one month 22 times

§ Have 345 PMO-free days in one year.

o June 30th, 2020

§ Go 183 consecutive PMO-free days

§ Have 28 PMO-free days in one month 28 times

o December 31st 2020

§ Have 28 PMO-free days in one month 34 times

§ Have 355 PMO-free days in one year.

o June 30th, 2021

§ Go 183 consecutive PMO-free days twice

o December 31st 2021

§ Go 365 consecutive PMO-free day

 

Bro you didn't mess up that bad, your 16 days of progress are not completely gone. What I do when I relapse is get off the computer, take a shower, reset the app I use for a counter, and put my energy somewhere else for the day. 16 days is a nice streak, don't be discouraged or too hard on yourself! just brush yourself off and try again!

 

This is the kind of output you'll get from the spreadsheet: